


Self-care is vital

by Ing_Eart



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Abandonment, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Affection, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bondage, Control Issues, Dom/sub, Dominance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Femdom, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, Light Dom/sub, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mind Manipulation, Murderers, Obedience, Obsessive Behavior, Oral Sex, Pegging, Possessive Behavior, Recovery, Rough Sex, Secret Identity, Self-Discovery, Serial Killers, Sex Toys, Smut, Social Anxiety, Strap-Ons, Therapy, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ing_Eart/pseuds/Ing_Eart
Summary: I am just saying right off the start that Vanny is not underage in this story. I do not support abusive relationships. At the start, some things between William and Vanny are very troublesome, but they will improve their relationship. We do not know anything about this pairing yet. If they turned out to be toxic upon the release of the new game, I would not support it and this story would turn into somewhat of an au. With this being said, this story is written before the actual release of security breach. This is my own take on what could happen and stuff.William Afton returns as Glitchtrap. Vanny finds him and decides to set him free, only to discover he plans to use her for his own freedom.Their relationship at the start is quite toxic, so consider this a warning.
Relationships: William Afton | Dave Miller/Reluctant Follower
Comments: 13
Kudos: 98





	1. The anomaly

Vanessa.. 

There was a steadiness to her, as if all the storms in the world were a whispering breeze if she was there. She was kind and clever, perhaps that's what drew people to her. There was nothing "princess" about her though, just a fierce independence. 

She had chestnut brown hair. It lay on her shoulders like a waterfall flowing mildly; flaming as bright as a sunrise. From under side bangs shone eyes, the colour of a dazzling emerald green, which travelled uneasily from one person to another. Her eyes seemed to shine in the sunlight, but hide in the darkness. 

Her smile was warm with a hint of shyness and her lips were like a frozen rose, dangerous but beautiful.

She specialized in the gaming industry. 

Video games always piqued her interest. 

In computer games we learn how to build not simply allies, but true friendships. We learn how fragile trust is, how vulnerable the human heart is. Yet we learn too that when won, that fear crumbles and love expands to fill every aspect of our pixelated reality. The trick is consistency, resisting temptations, giving of the self generously yet knowing when to rest and recover. These games are marathons of sorts. 

It encompasses dozens of job disciplines and it's component parts employ thousands of people worldwide. The video game industry has grown from focused markets to mainstream. Modern personal computers owe many advances and innovations to the game industry: sound cards, graphics cards and 3D graphic accelerators, faster CPUs, and dedicated co-processors like PhysX are a few of the more notable improvements. 

However, she never came across.. a game like this. 

Her new job was about.. a restaurant that apparently closed because of several murders. Weird situations started to happen around her business. Her boss seemed on edge and an employee was losing his sanity. 

Vanessa herself hadn't slept well in quite a few days either. Everything started to get into her head, keeping her awake.   
Her co-worker, Jeremy, suffered. Vanessa saw it. It's rumored that Jeremy died after he cut his face off with a guillotine paper slicer. It was horrifying. 

She was supposed to test the game soon. Her small development team seemed to go crazy under the influence of this game. Now in any other circumstance play-testing a game would be normal, but not after you witnessed something extremely traumatizing. The girl started her job like any ordinary game developer. She tested for bugs and checked if everything ran smoothly. 

At some point Vanessa felt like there was someone in the same room as her. However, she looks around and finds herself alone. She cannot clearly identify any stimulus which can support the sensation. Such as a voice, music, or any other similar sign. 

It felt.. surprisingly real. 

However, when she looked to her right, her blood fell cold. Her thoughts tumble into that abyss. A grinning, bipedal rabbit made of a golden or yellow color. It appears translucent. He possesses vivid purple eyes with small pupils, which were the first thing visible when Vanessa started to play. Large whiskers on each side of his face featured his cheeks with three eyelashes on both of his eyes.

It just.. stood there.

Vanessa feels the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what the rabbit does next. 

"Blink motherfucker.." Vanessa whispered in growing irritation. The inky darkness of the game engulfs the frail light, diminishing all happiness and bliss that had come with the real world. Now only silence lingers in the air. 

The rabbit continued to watch her. The creature remarked her high, delicate cheekbones, small nose, luminescent green eyes. His gaze turned downward. She was rather petite and dainty. Delicate, if you will.

She was pure and had spirit. He could already feel fierce protectiveness from her. She was the type of person who would make sure no harm befell anyone.

The only striking difference in her appearance were her eyes that bore boredom and the visible dark circles underneath them.

The bunny wanted to write her down as naive, but.. it wasn't entirely affirmative yet. Instead, it waved at her, moving it's hand left and right as a greeting. 

As she took in the form of the beast emerging from the half-light of the encroaching night, her eyes widened and her voice was not able to articulate a single sound. Her brain froze, offering no course of action for her now trembling limbs to take. it was moving. Not in a similar way to the other animatronics in the game. 

No, it was too smooth. 

It wasn't entirely smooth. The movement glitched here and there. However, the motion caught Vanessa's attention. She followed his pattern and waved back to the golden bunny. Her ears become sharper and her mind paranoid. A bead of cool sweat dripped down her back and her skin slowly became pale. 

Once the stress was gone, Vanessa returned her focus to the game. There is no use spacing out just because there's a virtual bunny. She planned to tell the other developers about this bunny creature in the future. 

As Vanessa quit the recording, she left the game to show her boss her progression. 

"I got the video. There was some preparation into making it. It took a minute to figure out if everything was working correctly." Her boss booted up his computer, her eyes glazing over as the old device tried to connect to the internet. When it finally loaded, she was greeted with a collection of videos. The man clicked on the video containing the newest date. 

The video started to play. 

A small and fleeting error in a system occurs due to unknown causes. Noise, in analog video. A random dot pixel pattern of static displayed. The audio was corrupted. There was an unfamiliar voice. It was definitely distorted, but Vanessa could still make out the words. "Don't you trust me? I have been so lonely. I would never betray you. Come back. I want you to come back." 

"Uhm.. Vanessa? We appreciate the work you put into this, but we can't do anything with this video. Very funny, but this is not the time for joking around. Especially with what happened to Jeremy. We need you to get back to your seat and record a second time. Just do as you are told, please? Thank you. We are inching closer to the deadline, so get us an actual report on the game." The voice was unexpected. It was low, leaving no room for a discussion. It was forceful. Vanessa's brain stutters for a moment. She was shocked, before that emotion turned into hatred. 

Her life needs changing for the better, because there's more going into her brain and body than she can handle and still be Vanessa. She swallowed that anger. Her boss wasn't to blame. 

That damn bunny.. 

Who else could've corrupted her data? Plus, he looks sketchy as hell.


	2. An anonymous greeting

She called him Glitchtrap and wrote him down to be made out of coding akin to a virus, or some other form of malicious software that latches onto files around it.

She put the headset on once more and entered the game. After that scary encounter, she was not excited to play this game anymore. The girl looked to her right.. and there he was. 

Closer. 

"I know you did this! The others might not believe me, but I know it was you! You can't see it.. but I'm holding up my middle fingers right now. They're all for you." All that rage came out faster than magma and just as destructive. she held up her hand, but in her game it simply looked like she was holding up two tightly clenched fists. She can assure you, however, they're middle fingers. "How did you get here, anyway? It.. couldn't have been other developers... You seem too.. different. Or you are just a joke the devs put into it. Which is it, huh?" She slowly started to calm her breathing. The rabbit whom just continued to stand there didn't help. 

Is he unable to speak? Eh, would make sense. 

To her surprise, the bunny took a step closer. Her body immediately reacted. A cold sweat of fear broke out all over he skin. Another step closer.. it was staring to become uncomfortable. 

She.. didn't want him to get closer. 

No, thank you. 

If any of this had been real her life would be doomed. She felt genuinely in danger. "You.. You were lonely, right? You wanted me to come back? Why don't you talk to me? You clearly used a voice in my recordings.. does that mean.. that you can't? Ehm, shake your head if you can't talk, okay?" Her voice was soft, but careful. She'd better try to befriend her enemy. She stands, grim faced. No-one says anything, this for the most part is how Vanessa always looks. Something was different. The creature stared at her. His eyes seemed to pierce her soul. Slowly, the bunny tilted it's head, the ears falling to one side. 

It was thinking..

It slowly shook it's head. So, that meant he couldn't communicate. Despite her fear, Vanessa was now intrigued. She wanted to know more about this entity. "Can I.. call you glitchtrap?" 

The bunny appeared to be thinking. The name seemed to resemble springtrap. It liked the name. So, he nodded. 

Vanessa knows tensing against the shaking of her limbs is useless but she does it instinctively, trying to suppress for a few more moments what she knows she cannot. There was a thick silence. Vanessa could hardly breathe. There was a suggestion of movement from the bunny. It was formless and indistinct, like a piece of shadow shifting.

Vanessa made the mistake to think that Glitchtrap wasn't so bad. It seemed to want her attention. 

The entity skipped back a few steps with a bounce to him. Glitchtrap raised his hand and slowly gestured for Vanessa to come closer to him with a finger, luring her in. 

"Stop wiggling your finger at me, that's disturbing." Vanessa's eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to decipher the intention behind the other's movements. "Ooh! You want me to follow! Dude, have you seen me move in the past few hours from this spot, besides teleporting to the prize counter and back? I'm stuck in place. I can't come over." Perhaps.. that was the sole reason behind the request of this virus bunny. He wanted to be able to say something else, but write it off more innocently. 

Because right after Vanessa's statement, glitchtrap pat his own chest before pointing at Vanessa. 

He could come over, after all. 

And he would. 

It was a clear plan he laid out in his mind. His presence drains anyone's elated feelings, seemingly absorbing it for it's own selfish self. Bold gluttonous lightning feeds into his cutting scythe; fuelling it for it's next unlucky encounter.

The term “personal space” is relatively new—but that uneasy feeling you get when someone moves too close is ancient. It takes relatively special social circumstances before it feels comfortable to be touched by someone. Even just sidling up too close to another person can be an invasion of that personal space. It has a very real impact on people. That's why Vanessa felt as if all the oxygen in the air got punched out of her lungs when Glitchtrap suddenly walked towards her in a rapid pace, making her heart beat faster, diverting blood to her muscles and away from her gut. Flight or fight, right?

Once again.. the bunny was just standing there. It was still way too close for Vanessa to feel safe. She eyes the anomaly up and down. 

It was about as safe as jumping off a cliff with paper wings. 

She feels lost and confused, like a ball of tangled yarn. The parts that are untangled are available, usable; the rest is a mess, useless until it is untied. That mess feels endless and at most times unyielding. Every unending end leads to more questions instead of answers.

Why did this creature before her look so out of place, and yet exactly where it should be?

There wasn't any form of communication. Only silence. 

"You.. do not exist in this world, do you?" Vanessa asked the stitched-up bunny, while she reached out a hand and watched how it slipped right through the translucent creature. He wasn't a physical form. "Why are you here and why did you want me to come back?" 

Staring had become their only form of communication. Her eyes rest, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect is soft and inviting instead of harsh. 

"I could be a part of this world, or even your world. I need your help." 

His voice is coarse like fragmented rock in hessian sack, moving and grinding against each other. The voice was distorted. The bunny before her.. owned somewhat of a British accent. The farther southwest you go, the more the British accents pick up the strong "r" that's characteristic of the Irish brogue. The northern English accents are almost Scottish, with more pronounced glottal stops.

He was speaking. Not physically, but inside her mind. The voice sounded almost inviting to Vanessa. "Why do you need my help? What are you planning? Do you.. have a real name?" Vanessa wanted to ask. Her eyes never left the bright purple eyes the bunny owned. 

"I'm asking you to.. alter some of this game's coding. I need to be stronger in order to get out. I'm stuck in here. It makes me wonder.. what year is it right now?" he asks the question smoothly, the baritone of his voice reverberating through Vanessa's bones, vibrating with power and command. It was a voice with authority as a kindly laugh shook the ground like a storm.

Vanessa's head started to throb. Hearing a different voice than your own inside your head wasn't entirely pleasant. It would begin slowly then develop into pain radiating around her entire head. Pounding, throbbing, like toothache in your brain, right between the eyes. 

The bunny never seemed to give his own name, merely shaking his head as if telling her she's not allowed to know. Glitchtrap placed a finger in front of his lips, shushing her curiosity. 

"What year? It's the year of 2019.. anyway, altering game codes.. That's illegal, isn't it? That's fraud." 

He had an easy going style, but it was this conniving persona that made him dangerous. He hid his true self like a snake covered with leaves. There was no indication of evil intent. He listened to Vanessa's worries. He hid behind a congenial mask of concern even as he planned to control others. "I acknowledge that I have odd methods, but they work. You seem reluctant.. but you will do it anyway, right?" He deals with a grin, that founder of sin. "An adrenaline junkie. I'm sure that even to you.. danger has always been an aphrodisiac, the more extreme the better." 

The adrenaline floods her system like it's on an intravenous drip - right into her blood at full pelt. She thinks her heart will explode and her eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of the fading light. 

A decision was made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a like or a comment if you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading my story!


	3. Was it a change for the better?

A decision was made. 

Vanessa knew exactly where to look for all of the needed coding. You could even visibly notice where glitchtrap was, considering specific codes around him glitched to purple. In order to give him more access she was supposed to widen that variety. 

Bit by bit she started changing the codes around his glitch virus, making sure he would slowly start to get more and more control. She saved whatever she could find in multiple USB sticks. 

She had given him way more power than he had before. He's now able to alter small things himself. Just small things for now. 

She wondered if the bunny already changed in any way. She longed for a response for her actions. A compliment, perhaps. Why did she even listen to the yellow rabbit? She had all the power to refuse his requests, and yet.. she wanted to help him. She wanted to know more about him. He absolutely intrigued her. A growing, insane curiosity continued to bloom in her chest upon every single interaction with that mysterious entity. 

She grew more and more excited to turn up at work. 

She was fascinated. 

She set up the entire VR system once again in order to enter the virtual reality. The darkness of the game absorbed her. The dark room was like a place out of time, a place to rest without consequence. The darkness in that way was a sanctuary, a place to recharge and forget the things the world said had to be done. Not quite the hot dark of embers, but a soft, hopeful dark. however, glitchtrap wasn't visible at her right. "Glitchtrap? Where are you? I.. I did what you asked of me. Is there anything else you need, I'm.. not sure it I can edit any more of the game for you. It'd be too suspicious." 

"Can you hear me?" A voice erupted in Vanessa's mind. A deep rumble from the darkness that was all too familiar to her. "You've done well. I will leave this virtual cage soon. I need you by my side, Vanessa. You trust me, right? I will lead you to greatness. My name is William Afton. You've been working on this game for a while now.. I'm sure it rings a bell. The stories have been twisted, however. Will you follow me? I want you to continue my legacy." 

"William Afton? You are the man behind the slaughter? Yeah, no. I don't believe that. You're messing with me, right?" The laugh came from Vanessa like a newly sprung leak - timid at first, stopping and starting. It was almost a tease, as if she was making fun of him. "So, this is.. like.. a weird appearance based on your Bonnie suit? Can I see your face? I need proof. Aren't you supposed to be dead? I need time to.. think about your offer. Just.. give me some time, okay?"

He didn't respond. The silence lay on her skin like a poison. It seeped into her blood and paralyzed her brain. For a brief moment, Vanessa wondered if she made a mistake. 

There was a tremor in her hands.

Words left her. Vanessa stared into those bright purple, and her heart fell silent. 

"You are seriously too curious. If you want to know, research it." 

Her sigh was of a softly deflating; it was as if a tension had lifted. She was so glad to hear him respond, at least. "I will," she answered with a comforting smile. She shouldn't offend him. 

Over the next continuous days, Vanessa felt her obsession with solving this mystery grow.

Her curiosity was building like a cat fixated upon it's prey. The most important factor in discoveries is your passion, your drive to find an answer that is needed. Then you become what you need to become, you create yourself in that fire of ongoing need that focuses everything that you are. And you do it because it feels as if the finding of the answer is your personal mission, your reason for being, your way of belonging and giving.

She ran through pages and pages of information about the name "William Afton" on the internet. She inquired this information. She was a truth-seeker. Now that this man piqued her interest, it led to a marathon of reading sessions about him. 

Vanessa started to print articles about and around William Afton. She had thousands of photos of him pasted on her wall; she looked at them every day. She feels like the distance between them pulls her soul out of her ribs, rendering her breathless, sinking her into subconscious. 

Whenever she saw him, his laughs are the secret behind her eternity of happiness. If he goes away, all of this will be hindered and she'll be nothing but a lifeless body. His eyes were her salvation.

She grew utterly obsessed. 

Only a person already in her heart can retrieve her from such darkness, only true love running in both directions.

She wanted him to show her those open and loving eyes, for they are the door to her own soul. 

As time progressed, even Vanessa's friends started to grow worried. We're all telephones with various wires but hers goes somewhere different. She wished her friends could share the line, jump right in and have a conference call with the bunny, but they can't. So, she wants them to stop feeling pity for her; to stop putting her in a padded room and close the door; she's happier than she's ever been. She feels a connection to pure love, she talks with him, takes advice and hears his sense of humour. 

She simply wanted answers. 

The time finally came for Vanessa to meet William again. The time had finally come for her to set the man free. The girl brought her laptop, USB sticks and multiple other pieces of technology. In Vanessa's spare time the girl worked on a mask to suit William's taste. If she were to work alongside him, she wanted to do it in fashion. He would be proud! He'd love it, wouldn't he? 

It was still early when the clouds gave off their rain to the grass and trees, when the road became alive with more splashes than her eyes could appreciate. Yet together they brought such a soothing sound, a natural melody every bit beautiful. Vanessa felt each splash that touched her skin, watched her jacket become a deeper, more shaded hue. It was as if earlier the street had been a matt photograph, only to be washed as glossy as any magazine page. 

Her bicycle wheels turn over the wet track, her speed bringing the cold rain into her face harder than it would were she was walking. Vanessa's jacket gave up on keeping her body dry a while ago and now her trunk is as wet as her legs. On a rainy day like this there's just no point in heavy clothes, the only thing that'll keep her warm is her own movement, the pumping of her legs against the pedals. Head down, press on, thinking of the warmth at the other end. There's a part of her that's jealous of the car drivers, safe behind shatter-proof glass and painted steel.

It all didn't matter, however. 

She knew of what was waiting for her at her destination. 

She's the first person in the office early this morning. The diffused grey light of a darkening sky pushes light just far enough into the corners of the building to see her way to her desk without turning anything on. There's no air conditioning hum, no chatter of colleagues, no flickering fluorescent lights. She sits down slowly, quietly thrilled at the novelty of being alone, absorbing the quiet, the empty spaces, watching the birds through the eastern facing windows in the garden outside, oblivious to her. 

With a swift motion, she retrieved the VR headset from it's enclosed location. 

Vanessa opened her eyes to a bunny creature, standing right before her with a sinister smile. 

The same as usual.

"William, it's me! I'm back. I have made my decision. Today is the last stage of your freedom. I will set you free. I will be by your side. I will follow you into the unknown." Vanessa found her inner peace, her love, her happiness. If you can feel as centred with your eyes open as you so when they are closed, you'll feel a sense of self. Her face is lit up brighter than a toothpaste commercial and she has that soft look on her face. "I also made you something.. I'm sure you would like it." 

The malhare looked down upon Vanessa from his position on the stage. 

Vanessa felt the knife before she saw it. She looked into the eyes of the wielder. Her throat and heart held in a silver grasp, and all she could do was stare lifelessly at the purple eyes that held the blade and a terrifying coldness she had never seen before. Vanessa had always thought his eyes were golden, but looking at them now she could see no trace of the vibrancy Vanessa was sure they once held.

He deceived her. 

"Merge with me, Vanessa." 

Vanessa's vision started to fade. The girl compared it to the dark that encourages you to fall asleep as you close your eyes, tossing and turning in a futile attempt to slip away into the depths of unconsciousness, blissfully unaware. 

Vanessa didn't feel in control over her own body anymore. There was a time when sunlight bathed the surface of this planet. Rays touching everything at one time or another, boundless, almost endless energy travelling even to the smallest regions of this fragile Earth. She compared the feeling to drowning. 

The water closed in around her, filling her with a deep dread. 

Her head is pounding, every cell in her body is screaming for oxygen. She keeps fighting until she feels like her head is about to explode, she has to take a breath. She falls further and further into the darkness until it threatens to swallow her whole. Darkness enveloped her. 

Was this her punishment? 

Did she let him down? 

She lost her ability to talk. She couldn't get the words to leave her throat. 

Meanwhile, William Afton gained full control over Vanessa's body. Self control is a master key, once you have it the doors to so many personal victories open. He tested out his possibilities by moving his limbs. 

Everything worked exactly the way he wanted it to. 

The girl has almost translucent skin, thin and without any discernible pigment. It fascinated William. He rubbed a finger across the skin of his arm and grimaced. It had been so long since he touched actual skin. He went through literal hell. She was fair, almost like a porcelain doll, yet she did hold some color.

This wasn't his, however. Another human body was difficult to control.. especially after he lost his own for such a long while. It almost seemed as if William lost his ability to control a human body. It proved to be quite a challenge. 

He needed a new body. A body that solely belonged to him. 

For that cause he was forced to return.

Return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to read your feedback!


	4. Home

The travel was long, but he finally returned home. Returned to the same streets and homes. Yet everything has moved on in his absence; perhaps it was foolish to imagine even one thing would remain the same. Afterwards it was all too obvious that the gaping hole he left on departure had long since healed and scarred up. He's no longer part of the natural flow. There is an awkwardness he never expected.   
Fallen leaves littered the walkway, bathing it in dark red and orange, and William stepped on them with a satisfying crunch. The familiar yellow glow made the house feel warm and inviting.

Returning home feels like a tortoise retracting into it's shell. The troubles of the world are evaporating. By the time William got home, night had fallen and enveloped the city in a blanket of darkness. William scurried down the path towards his old house, the shoes originally belonging to Vanessa slapping against the stone steps that led to his front door. The metal of the doorknob was cool against Vanessa's palm and William twisted it with ease, entering the well-lit living room.

It was strange, being here again after so long. Despite how long he'd been away, he still remembered everything about the place. 

His home sits on top of the little hill like a cupcake on a sugared plate. Strong stone walls of the land and a door of aged oak. The windows look out onto the rolling countryside, casting it's gentle gaze over leaf and soft grass.

Despite his comfort of finally coming home, he still carried Vanessa's worries within. Her constant fear and betrayal made his stomach turn. 

Vanessa trusted him. She trusted him with her life. He used her, quite literally. 

However, the determined pressure to find a new body for himself to continue his existence sat heavily on William's chest. William was planning to create a complete replica of his old self, before any of the traumatizing things happened to him. It was a replica of the more happier times to the man, so to say. 

Together with some of Henry's stolen blueprints, he would likely succeed with a hyper realistic robot. 

The robots were so human that nobody could tell the difference. They moved, talked and gestured like anyone else. They sometimes made bad jokes and looked socially awkward. Sometimes they were charming and self-assured. The artificial intelligence whirred inside the mechanical brain. 

William wanted to be real. 

He wanted to feel, taste and digest. 

He never abandoned his dream of immortality. 

William's hands might be rusty, but there are a lot of tools here right now. He started his project. Hotwiring, molding skin, even glistering eyeballs and jabbing hairs into the skin to make an even more real appearance. He was paying attention to every little detail. He was making sure all the superior senses were working, he even made an entire digestive system and taste buds. The skin is flexible, and his body is filled with a fluid resembling blood. There was even a heating system, making sure his body temperature stayed a nice 37° celcius. Everything inside the body was anatomically correct. He's not made of actual flesh, but he could feel pain. His tolerance was just set high, considering he's always had a great knack on that. 

Days after days ended and the soul of William Afton slowly started to fade, getting weaker and having less control. With each passing minute Vanessa's mind gained her consciousness. Her body felt tired, hungry and exhausted. She needed to sleep. She couldn't remember her location. She didn't know where she was and why she was here. The amnesia is a roadblock of sorts. So, she is aware when she's forgetting. When there is something close, yet hidden. She cannot in that moment fathom what it could be. As her eyes opened, she took in the sight of what seemed to be a male. 

They seemed lifeless.. and yet... alive?

Her memories slowly surfaced.

William Afton..

He looked younger. Perhaps somewhere in his thirties? She recognized him from the countless photos she printed before. A fury started to boil. A hot magma burning to escape and catch fire on the man himself. 

William was leaving her body. It caused her to regain control. He let his guard down in order to leave and enter this new robotic vessel. However, Vanessa wanted revenge. 

Oh, sweet revenge. 

The girl retrieved one of the many USB sticks from her pocket, holding it out for the spirit to catch onto instead of William's body. The small anomaly got easily absorbed into the helpful USB and to Vanessa's surprise... it actually worked. 

"heh... You wanted to get into that body, didn't you? Jokes on you! I'm not letting that happen and that's on betraying me." 

Though William's eyes are open, he can't think of why; his heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into his carotid. He strains into the utter darkness, breathing rate beginning to steady. He ended up in a void. The USB stick was an endless pit of abyss. "Vanessa..? What did you do? Where am I? What are you talking about?" He started, keeping his cool in order to play his part. 

"Cut the crap, William. I know you used me. Please, don't pretend that you're innocent. I know everything." She was practically speaking to a small USB stick. She couldn't feel more insane. Her insanity was only decreasing. Vanessa felt as if she was naive for even thinking a man such as William Afton would ever keep her by his side. 

She kept the little stick safely secured in his pocket. There were a few tiny changes Vanessa wanted to make to William's constructed body. The man played the master role for too long. It was time for someone else to steal the spotlight, and it would be Vanessa. The spotlight hit her skin as if it were greeting her eternal inner fire. There is something about dancing in the spotlight that ignites the passions of the soul.

It would be her era. 

Vanessa investigated every feature the new electronic body possessed. William made a completely functional robot for him to continue his existence in. Everything worked in the right order of things; including his limbs, insides and nerves. The complexity of the skin almost fooled Vanessa. It was fake, however. All of it. 

She was impressed, obviously. 

It still needed a few.. adjustments. William needed it for Vanessa's safety. A great starter would be an off switch. If she could turn William off and on whenever she wanted to, it'd definitely be a life saver. He was scary. Vanessa needed something to keep that absolute abomination of a monster in check. 

She wasn't a skilled engineer like William. She owned a few tricks, but she still wasn't skilled enough. Together with the few other blueprints and instructions around, she could find her way. Vanessa had always been a rational thinker, someone able to keep a clear mind. "You better have a damn good explanation, William. I'll put you back in.. whatever you made and trust you once more. Don't fail me." Her voice was serious, a true warning to not be crossed again. She let William's soul infest the robotic body before her. "I must say.. impressive work." She still complimented the other. William clearly didn't waste another second to escape into his new vessel. 

William wakes the way kings wake, just the same. The same experience of consciousness. His eyes greet the evening shine, his heart and lungs expand. His eyes that Vanessa once fell into as her salvation instead turned her stomach every bit as badly as meeting a stranger after dark. William looks at her, face screwed up like he's got some internal debate going on. "I did not have another choice, Vanessa. It was the only way I was aware of to leave. Yes, I used you. It was my last resort. What would you do in my position, really? You would do the same, wouldn't you?" The first trait that became obvious was his pathological lying. He repeated his attempt to deceive the other and lie about anything under any circumstances in order to conceal his true nature and achieve his goals. 

The man is a charm to be sure. He has the right twinkle in his eyes and a voice that is more warm than sunlight on amber. Vanessa usually likes that - smiling back and enjoying an exchange of words - yet this one has that air of power, of total confidence. She backs away; he's creepy. He could tell her up was down and she'd follow him just to hear more of his sweet words. There's something in the way he looks at her too, like he's doing so much more than just taking in her form like others do. In that way his own face starts to look like a mask, controlled in order to have a particular effect on her. Vanessa mentally puts in her ear plugs and finds a reason to leave, any excuse will do. "I couldn't survive in your body. It was never permanent. I needed a new body. I never meant to keep you imprisoned. You believe me, don't you?" 

There is nothing more creepy to Vanessa than a person with emotions that don't match the situation. They consistently look happy when others are in pain. They are unable to truly look sad when others have a trauma to relate. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to catch a psychopath lying as they often strategically plan deceitful stories. They often also tend to have a superficial charm that may have got their partner addicted in the first place. The lack of guilt or remorse is particularly hard to deal with. But don’t expect it to change. 

William's perception of self worth is extremely high. Even if Vanessa is a successful, confident professional, she feels worthless in comparison. 

"Your words don't match your expression. You are lying. You completely and utterly used me. Someone as intelligent as you could've come up with anything. There's no way this was your only option. alive- and bringing me here to help build you a body. We would have worked together. I'd have been by your side." He already started to lure Vanessa in with a classic temptation. She still hasn't given up on the idea of remaining by his side, despite what William had done. Her burning love kept her positive. He was charming, smart and worldly; he just seemed different from the guys she usually met. No matter how a person speaks, their voice plays a role in their relationships. 

People tend to think a foreign accent is more interesting and more sexy. 

"You.. really are persistent. I never wanted to work alongside you from the very start. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Her words took him by surprise, and before he even knew it, he started thinking. "An apprentice doesn't sound all bad, however. It did catch my attention before. I'm not accustomed to.. working together. Well, I used to have a business partner, but that was entirely different, of course. I learned the harsh way that perhaps it's time for me to put an end to things. That doesn't mean I won't continue my legacy through someone else.." William stared into Vanessa's eyes, determined not to look away first. He wanted to draw her in. He wanted her to believe this was in fact, the honest truth. Perhaps he could even make himself believe so. 

His voice has a husky drawl and every step he takes is in slow motion compared. Her lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that she is enjoying her thoughts, whatever they may be. She could play his voice on a loop and never get tired from it. William moves closer so that he feels her presence, yet stays quiet, allowing her to stay lost in the moment a while longer. Her voice tumbled out softly, "you.. you would want that?" Her heart fluttered. He honestly confessed that he wanted her by his side, perhaps in his own twisted ways. It could be a selfish gain, but Vanessa was willing to take the leap. 

She was still mad. She still felt deeply hurt by the other's betrayal. But her body has already begun to relax. 

There is a sort of broken hearted that is akin to lighting a match, enjoying the flame and leaving the ashes. However, Vanessa still desperately tried to gather all the small clusters of smoke and create her hope anew. It could work. Together with a warning maybe. "I will prove myself to you, but I still don't trust you either. We need to work on this, okay?" She felt scared and vulnerable. It was scarier than Vanessa imagined it to be to face a murderous criminal. 

This fragile partnership was built upon the breakable agreement that those whom Vanessa cared about most deeply would behave, in large part, as they always behaved. A betrayal can shatter that trust and open the door to the possibility that things in one's small, intimate world may not be as they appear.

"William, this house is a wreck. You can't stay here. We need shelter. I can take you to my house? It's not too far from here.. we should take public transportation. You're completely new to all of this, aren't you?" The difference in time sure created a few worries. Technology evolved. "By the way, call me Vanny."

In our society, we tend to reward and promote the qualities exhibited by narcissism, mistaking confidence for competence, and arrogance for achievement. In William's case, he never ever before had to keep an eye out for someone else's needs. The moment he loses interest or something doesn’t go his way. Then all hell can break loose.

Don’t expect a clean bow-tie resolution to a conflict. 

Even now, William felt his skin tingle nervously. He was about to trust a strange woman into bringing him to a place unknown to him. 

Vanessa had a way of walking that made her seem perpetually in a hurry. Maybe she was. Meanwhile, William trudged along the pavement at a sedate pace, his mind focused on the gentle footsteps that seemed to echo throughout the street. Suddenly tenser than a tiger who stalks his prey. There are streets of up-market stores, smooth black and glass exteriors, fancy names in fancier lettering. The kind of places with perfumed atmospheres made all the more inviting by music and well groomed subservient staff; exchanging their tokens of the upper class life for the swipe of a credit card. The city was simply urban, just like he’d imagined - tall buildings in an exact grid pattern. Ubiquitous skyscrapers were smudged by the smog-filled sky, no sunlight, no birds. Cars raced between red traffic lights, stubbornly flickering in the grey. The world had changed so much over the time William had been gone. 

Their little trip ended upon their arrival at the bus station. 

As they stepped inside the presumably correct bus, as far as William knew, they left on a journey once again. The bus is sleek, running over the black tarmac so fast that the passing greenery becomes a hazy blur. The city changes every few minutes on the journey home.

There are those who chatter, their voices rising and blending together in the sweet ritual of friends. Some absorb themselves in music, others drift into worries that will erase themselves on arrival. William and Vanessa felt the movement of the wheels over the road, following the curves and greeting each slope in it's smooth way. The bus rocks them from side to side as they travel. 

With a long exhale Vanessa can detect the tell tale signs that her brain is leaving her. She drifted into consciousness and then back out. The world was a blur. "I can't take it anymore.. I'm taking a small nap. Please, remember 'Callaghan street', okay?" She spoke in a soft tone. She was forcefully kept awake by the other possessing her which caused her body to go beyond exhaustion. Now was finally the time for her to rest. 

"Vanessa? Are you sure?" This is managing his life. William was used to being in control at every possibility. There is a tenseness to his muscles that makes him more like a mannequin. 

Nervousness..

Most of the time, his denial is bullet proof and successfully shields him from his awful truth. William feels a compelling need to control people in his environment; work mates, friends and neighbors. It's because in his mind he doesn't feel in control. He lives in fear of losing control. He sees other people in his environment - at home, at work, friends, relatives and neighbors - as extensions to himself. He sees himself at the center of the world, the controller, an idol to be adored and admired; in his mind this makes it acceptable for him to abuse others - he continually tries to rearrange the 'significant others' in his life to look towards him, and admire him.

Now the stress hit. 

The lack of control over his life. 

William could feel Vanessa slowly dozing off. From the week of barely getting any sleep, he had expected this. As her head lolled onto his shoulder, her eyelids finally slipping closed. The rest of her slowly leaned into him, the rest of her body going limp.

Once out of the bus Vanessa navigated by instincts. William woke the girl up cautiously in order to leave the bus. Beyond the horizon, the sun illuminated the shimmering haze of pollution. In the far distance, the silhouette of the skyline pierced through the warm glow like a jagged mountain ridge. Millions of lights caused the dense mass of skyscrapers to glitter. Despite the time, the hustle and bustle never came to a halt. 

The two of them simply walked to Vanessa's apartment, with William following Vanessa as an uncomfortable puppy. A small scowl grew on his face. 

Vanessa unlocked her front door, closed her fingers around it to twist and open the door to her house. "Come on in!" 

Cramped, dim and cave-like, a cheap spindly pine framed bed was cut shorter to fit into the room with a narrow strip of carpet graying with decades of filth placed to its left.To the right of the bed was a meanly proportioned window layered in aging mould and dust, covered by twenty-something year old net curtains swaying mysteriously in the shadows. Dirt encrusted beige wallpaper was peeling off the wall near the dented floorboards. In the sink towered multiple old packages of noodles. 

William glanced around. Something flashed beneath the surface of his hardened expression. His facial expression was one of absolute disdain. He still managed to cover it up quite well. 

Her house was thoroughly disgusting. 

She probably needed to buy William clothes before he could find a way to make money. She already didn't have a lot of financial income. 

"Go on and explore. I'm making some food.. I'm starving. While you're at it, is there anything you want? Or at least tell me something about yourself." Vanessa asked, her curiosity blooming. She made herself a sandwich, and also one for William just to be nice. Vanessa would describe her sandwiches as stomach filler. It wasn't really a good dinner, but it would calm her hunger. The toasted sandwiches were made in the iron frying pan, the wholegrain bread becoming a golden brown.

The aroma would make its way through the house, announcing that food was ready. Then they'd eat. Warm bread and warm chatter. Or at least, that's what Vanessa hoped. They had their indifferences.. and she was still hateful.. but she still adored him. He appeared willingly to keep her around, too. "Enough about me. I'm curious about you, Vanny. You wanted me to call you 'Vanny', right? What are your interests, your skills?" That little rise in the corner of his mouth combined with the cool detachment in his eyes sealed his fate. He tried to change the subject away from himself again. "Where am I going to sleep? The couch, I suppose?" 

"I named myself Vanny because I like it. That's all." More importantly, Vanessa asked William a question he once more completely dodged. Expressing Your feelings or showing your emotions is never easy. However, he made himself seem all the more suspicious in his case. Maybe William stopped freely expressing his true self, he began hiding, shielding, questioning, analyzing…and most of all, protecting his heart from hurt. Vanessa learned at a young age that feelings were dangerous and painful. She could very well understand William's caution. But Vanessa knew the possibility of what kind of man William could be. The toxic one. "I asked you a question, William. You are changing the subject. What? I can't ask about you? You haven't told me a singular thing about yourself. I need to know what is the truth about you." Vanessa still found comfort in the other's twisted mind. A feeling of acceptance. She doesn't want to change him. It's impossible to change a person who isn't open to the idea of changing. He can be himself if he wants to. However, she will not let him be in control of her. She was aware of the consequences. 

William Afton was a broken man. 

She wanted him to find peace, to finally rest. He wanted someone to take over his work, and she was chosen. It felt like time William Afton's reign was put down. 

"Actually, you deserve to sleep on the floor." 

That comment was a clear contrast to her mind. It definitely grew a frown on William's forehead. 

"See? You are trying to find fault in everything I do and say. I'm being an honest man here, Vanny." Playing the victim – Which leaves Vanessa baffled, because that’s the exact topic she was trying to raise with him. William will always turn things around to make himself out to be the victim. People like William afton use other people — people who are typically highly empathic — to supply their sense of self-worth, and make them feel powerful. But because of their low self-esteem, their egos can be slighted very easily, which increases their need for compliments. William knew he was being pushed into a corner. He instinctively tried to fix the situation in the only way he knew. There is no debating or compromising with William, because he is always right. "Vanny, you are such an intelligent individual. You must know I mean no harm to you." He told her how smart she was, trying to love-bomb her. He'll say all the right things to make her think he changed, and that she was the crazy one. 

William is highly skilled at turning on the charm to get what he wants.

Gaslighting starts with planting seeds of doubt. She may notice something he is doing or saying that doesn’t seem to add up, but when she mentions it, she is made to feel like it’s the most absurd thing she has ever said. She'll start to doubt herself. A slow, calculated process to have her believing that she is crazy, and that she can’t trust her own judgement. It is the height of deception and a means of control. 

"You continuously claimed that I was untrustworthy, however you still took me to your home. Somewhere deep inside of you even you yourself realize that I am no threat to you. It's all in your head." He will project his behaviour on to her. And he may even form alliances to reinforce ‘just how crazy she is’. William sees the world in black and white. There is no grey area. This is part of his personality splitting and includes two very strict categories – winners or losers. He was not going to be a loser in this argument. He will tug at her heart strings to try and get her to stay.

Vanessa's face fell faster than a brick. She glanced nervously at the other, her brows creased and face tense. "Oh.. I'm.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seek fault in you! I know you are not a threat!" Her face fell into an expression William had never associated with her features before. it was such a sudden shift. Her hands slowly reach up to his shoulders in order to fix his bowtie, trapping William with the feeling of no escape. "Is that what you wanted to hear, Mr Afton? I advise you to stop playing with me. You make me swoon, but I am not stupid. These little tactics will not work on me." Vanessa's hand paused on top of his robotic heart. She could feel his heart beat… every single pound in his chest. It beat so loudly that it seemed to want to escape his chest. "Since you withhold your information, I already searched quite some details about you on the internet." The woman added. 

"So, like I mentioned before.. you sleep on the floor. End of story." 

To call a partner "manipulative" is a relationship nuclear bomb. Once someone calls it, trust is gone and trust is foundational to relationships. Everything there once was between them is ashes. Added to that, it's a trap. Any good deeds done by the "manipulator" are because they "want something." Any neutral behaviours become "stand-offish manipulations." Heaven forbid they actually lose their cool and become angry they are then "manipulating and aggressive." Any which way and the relationship is doomed, the accuser is lost in paranoia and the accused is "guilty" no matter what they do.

"Vanessa, stop it. You are being too defensive." Anger, pain, sadness - so intertwined that perhaps their names ought to be tweaked to reflect the true origins of those emotions. There was a breaking point of William's patience. It reached the edge once his voice changed. It wasn't soft and charming anymore. "Did it ever cross your mind that you made it unable to talk about one's emotions?" Their voices rose above the sacred silence. A glance, touch, and one small comment stirred a hurricane of harsh and hoarse insults. His face brightened, just a tone higher before his crimson. This was no longer a child game of "he said, but she said." Blood was bound to be spilled, feelings hurt. 

His face has become rigid, jaw clamped tight, teeth grinding. It's time to get out of here before he does something he'll regret. 

"Defensive? Defensive?! Why are you not denying anything? Or speaking up about specifics to clear things up, huh?! You're only feeding my defense mechanism, you know? My paranoia. You're not denying ANYTHING!" Vanessa wanted to cry as rage filled her belly. She felt her ears getting hot. She glared at him then spat out her words. "Oh? Ohohoho! So, now we are playing the blame game, huh?! I am the problem here now? Why? Tell me why. Why am I the problem?" 

William is unstable. What he does is unbelievable. Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as him. He was screwed up and brilliant. 

He got the world, but at what price. 

What did she expect? A non-violent relationship? Yeah, she isn't a child. 

The man did not have a stable body nor mind for half a century. It's not an excuse, but maybe he doesn't know any better than to hide his true self. That wasn't Vanessa's concern at the moment. 

Their heated quarrel continues. It was definitely a war of words and who can hurt the other one worse. Both of them at each other's throats like savage hungry dogs fighting over dominance.

As Vanessa continued her fury, something cracked beneath William's facial features. He watched her face change to hurt and anger and it only served to bring his own fury to a higher boil. It's been there a while now, this anger. He used to swallow that anger when it was a fire-seed and forgot to drink something cool, and so it grew in his belly until it came out as hot as any dragon has ever flamed. 

Every mean thing he'd thought but knew better than to say came flooding out. When he saw hurt in his opponent's eyes he didn't back off, only dug deeper, like a hunter at the first sign of blood. He glares at her with hatred in his cruel dull eyes. "You are an extremely stupid girl. Aren't you?" His words crashed out unchecked, unaltered. Something he'd been trying to hide clawed itself out of him. A raging anger. A burning volcano. 

He knew the moment it happened that he personally ruined his plan bit by bit. A pawn in his plan to exploit was going to disappear because of his own greed.

Holding everything in had become second nature - but too many storms can burst any dam.

She froze. The outrage, the entitlement, the jurisdiction in his voice frightened her. She needed to leave. Escape. The pounding of his footsteps made her feel so helpless. 

William walked up to her, feeling like a wild beast pulling against its leash. "I need you to stop talking, wench." 

The hand appeared from nowhere and tightened on her throat, white knuckled, strong. She turned to fight it but found her feet dragging along the floor as she lost her balance. Her breath seemed to stutter in her lungs before she let it go. 

Before the air couldn't even reach her lungs anymore. 

A choked cry for help forced itself up her throat, and she felt a drop run down her cheek. It seemed as if this was the end of the road for her.

His muscles released their tension and Vanessa fell to her knees. Vanessa breathed as if no air would ever be enough, as if she were a drowning victim suddenly brought up from the depths. She was on her knees, hands on the ground, her long hair almost touching the floor. William's voice brought her back to reality. 

"I apologize.. I didn't mean to harm you." 

Maybe it was an attempt to clean his consciousness, or even a way to keep her from leaving. She didn't know the answer to that question. 

It could be a real apology or just another means of manipulation. She doesn't know why William let her go, but she felt grateful for it. 

For moments such as these, Vanessa installed a safety switch. A means to turn the robotic embodiment of William Afton off whenever she wishes to. The switch had been hidden to prevent William himself from discovering it. It was just a tiny imprint on the back of his neck. It was back when William built his new vessel that she had found the right timing to slip this tiny detail in. It was a fingerprint scanner. They are security systems of biometrics. Everyone has marks on their fingers. They can not be removed or changed. These marks have a pattern and this pattern is called the fingerprint. 

Pressing the tiny button made the other go limp right after Vanessa gathered all of her energy to stand on her two wobbly legs. At first William is stiff, but then he melts into her body, his arms limp, dangling like a doll. Without being aware of it Vanessa's left hand rises to stroke his back. Then she begins to cry softly, wetting his shirt. 

her fear only then dawned on her. 

During their argumentation the sun has gone to rest, the moon takes his place as the darkness begins to surround the two of them. Even the night wished for their anger to rest. For it was the exhaustion that caused such a fight. 

The lingering light was obliterated by the rapidly falling night. The once salmon and purple sky transformed into a vast expanse of jet-black that engulfed the town. A canopy of luminous stars materialized amongst the ocean of blackness. Some were dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there was an adequate amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark night. 

In the dead of night even the city lights ebbed to a mere inkling. The city lights dwindled to a smattering of stubborn night owls.

Even the shadows now were swallowed by the encroaching darkness. In the gathering gloom the stars and the moon shone brighter in the sky, as if to remind us that even in the darkness there is light.


	5. A sign of relief

As time passed on twilight melted away, majestic sunrise, red orange glow seeping over the horizon as if the light itself was being poured from a molten sun. Powerful rays flood over the landscape lighting every blade of grass, shining from each leaf. The air was very clear and the long morning shadows distinct. Spreading sunrise, pinkish glow, clouds tinted, colours spread across the sky announcing the new day, oranges and reds painted across the clouds as if by a celestial hand.

The curtains of Vanessa's bedroom add an orange glow to the morning light. 

Upon waking, William burrowed himself into the warm, soft sheets. He rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and gazed out at the horizon; it's vivid light extended across a rosy sky. He supposed this was something the majority of people would consider beautiful, but he found it strange, hard even. His mind was still a surging perplexity. William couldn't fathom when he possibly went to bed. Last night was left as a blur, almost as if pieces were missing from his mental puzzle. 

Give him a moment to shed the sleep from his brain, to allow the visions of the night to give way to the day, to move on from that confusion that rocked his brain. In a few minutes he will be able to greet the sunlight, to see the colours as bright as the backlit images of cinema screens; he will adjust. For now let him figure out what happened exactly. 

He was sitting on a bed, even when he expected the floor to wake up from. He hesitantly rubbed his fingers along the silken mattress. There were fluffy, velvet pillows. The comforter was thick and irresistibly soft, like a billowing cloud. The best way to describe the bed was.. girly. 

The bedroom was furnished on a meagre budget, but it was full of more warmth than William had seen in many years. 

There was.. something else that peaked his attention. From every wall smiled photographs of himself. The picture was a time machine. One glance and he was back in his teen years with his life stretched before him, all the decisions that lay between his present self and his past self were unmapped, anything was possible. 

It was still odd. 

He pushed himself up and out of bed, his feet dragging against the floor to meet a confrontation he'd rather avoid. 

Vanessa...

A desk caught his attention instead of opening the door towards the living room. The desk was a recycled wood upon strong iron legs, each at a jaunty angle as if it was stretching before a pleasant jog. Upon this desk was a mask. A grinning bunny mask. It certainly struck William as intriguing. 

It reminded him of Bonnie. The countless crimes he committed together with his trustworthy suit. 

He held the mask of which he assumed belonged to Vanessa. He was dragging out his remaining time of meeting her. He was aware of this. 

He gave up and turned to the door, twisting the handle. It's creaking noise bringing a chill to his spine. It sounded like some dying animal, crying out it's pain and sorrow with its last breath.

Vanessa awaited this moment from the second she left her bed. She knew it was coming. She boiled the kettle five times this morning, already filled to the brim with tea and honey for her sore throat, she busied herself getting the cups and tea bags ready. Another quick glance at the door to confirm he wasn't there yet, her stomach knotted up. Now the time had come. Her eyes were staring straight into his. 

Her throat still hurt. It was bruised. This spreading purple with yellow blotches is only the surface wound. The real one is within, that feeling of betrayal, that breaking of trust that is so essential to true love. 

"Goodmorning.." it sounded soft and rapsy, a tone of voice that William wasn't accustomed to from Vanny. Her eyes briefly observe him. He was holding something she clearly recognized.

Her mask.. 

"Vanny, when you wear a fantastic mask such as this one.. you can be anyone. You could be anyone you ever wanted to be. Your past is behind you and only the future matters. You can-" William spoke with such enthusiasm, before Vanessa cut him off. Going through the agony of seeing how William has moved on like she doesn’t exist, feels like a knife going into her heart. Ignoring what started a relationship fight or pretending it never happened isn’t a wise idea. Sweeping it under the rug assumes your partner is satisfied with the outcome. But making a clear effort to reconnect is the key to a successful outcome. Sharing what you have learned after a fight can help repair the damage. "Will, don't bring up the mask right now. Take a cup of coffee or tea while it's still hot and sit down. Let's talk, okay?" 

If you don’t let your partner know that what you fought about bothers you, your resentment could bubble up in the future and you could just eventually explode. 

Fortunately, William stopped talking almost instantly. Instead, the man sat down with her after he got himself a hot cup of tea. Within that cup a swirling golden glaze sat with the swirling hues of the tea flavour. 

The moment William realized he'd misinterpreted her actions, her words, her expressions as if she'd been speaking a language he couldn't understand. That moment he was at a loss for words. "Something happened. Let's talk about it? Please?" Vanessa was the one to break the silence. She didn't meet his eyes. He knew he'd done something pretty awful when he had to work so hard to justify it. 

"I know. I thought.. disregarding the situation would be a better solution. What do you want to say?"

It is right that we love in an open way, always giving unconditionally. Yet, William is in the grip of an abusive mind and he's become deaf to the advice of those who hold him as treasure. The only way Vanessa can help him is to walk away, to let his brain ruin him utterly, for only then will she be able to save him, to pick up the shards of what is left and rebuild a beautiful man. 

But she can't. 

"Thank you for the thought behind it, but like I said.. we can't pretend yesterday never happened." There is something in the way Vanessa talks that gives her away. She had found it impossible to talk with William in the way she had expected to talk to him. Once it had no doubt been a pleasing voice. Speaking hurt her more than anything. "We both handled things in a wrong way.. I'm sorry that I pushed you and my own luck. I should let you tell things at your own pace. I'm just.. intrigued. You fascinated me. I wanted to know how you think.. and how you work exactly." 

She smiled weakly, gulping down the rest of her tea. William could see those gravity-drawn shoulders painting a picture of her heart. He could see in her eyes that her brain has built some new walls with her so lonely on the other side.

"I never meant to hurt you." William started as his eyes shifted to the side again. His lack of empathy and an inability to recognize personal missteps. His traits make William less likely to apologize than those who aren’t as self-absorbed. 

"Hey, William? What if.. we go shopping? To have some fun? You also really need clothing. You probably don't have money right now.. so, I don't mind paying for you." Her offer was one of kindness, but it still caused William to feel slightly embarrassed to have her pay for him. He didn't mind too much, cause that smile is the prettiest thing he's seen in a while, for it extends to her eyes and deep into her soul.

William agreed to her offer. The two of them decided to get ready and head to the mall. William could use the bathroom right after Vanessa. He stepped into the shower, toes flinching as they touched the chilled ceramic floor. His mind was in shreds. Everything was moving too fast for him. William turned the dial, old and metallic, releasing thousands of lukewarm drops, darkening his hair and trickling down his back. The water pours down, it drips by his side, as his mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms him; it takes his mind off things. 

As he stepped out of the shower, the shower, steam filling the room, William came across the small bathroom mirror. The mirror was small and cheap, but that didn't matter to William. The shiny surface reflected himself. William stood and stared at himself, or at least the distorted image of himself. The mirror showed him the boy the world saw, all they saw, somehow it didn't seem right. 

He had been an electronic monster for so long that he couldn't even remember what life used to be like. 

There was a noise. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware of it. The knock came quietly first and then there was silence. The knock was louder and faster this time, and soon a voice followed. "William? You've been in there for a while now." The door cracked open and William's attention turned to a shocked Vanessa. She stared as if he'd just produced a rhinoceros from his pocket. You could just imagine the sparks in her brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit. She looked like a pop-eyed toy from one of those claw machines at the funfair. Perfectly funny.

He wasn't naked. 

A towel covered his waist loosely. He was still in the bathroom when she came into the room. The water dripped down his hair softly. And the drops slowly made their way to his body. The most striking feature was his disoriented expression. 

Her eyes rest, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect is soft and inviting instead of harsh. Perhaps it is her lips that give away her intention, stuck tightly between her teeth. Her lips were a pale pink that reminded me of a rose bud. The top lip was thinner, but not too thin, and it had a natural cupid's bow. 

She was biting her lip. It says, "you're making me have to control myself." 

"You were taking your sweet time.. I came to check up on you. I'm sorry for bursting in. I came to bring your clothes. I washed them for you." She wasn't sorry. She was genuinely honored to see him like this. It was the blush of roses, that peek of champagne pink. She could feel the heat growing in her cheeks. "You look distracted?" 

Words left William. He stared into those bright eyes burning with curiosity, and his heart fell silent. As if stuck underwater, everything was slow and warbled.

His mind was blank. 

"It's nothing. A reminder of the past, so to say." 

Their conversation fell silent and both returned to their activities. 

As Vanessa gave William all the time he needed to get ready, she sunk into her own thoughts. She pondered over what her actual opinion was of the other. He was tall and slim. 

Love is a tricky thing. Sometimes, it’s a beautiful emotion you get to experience alongside a significant other. Other times, it’s a horrible reality you come face to face with alone. When you think about love, you probably think of that first feeling — the happy, exciting love. 

Unfortunately, being in love doesn’t always include a happily ever after. There are a ton of reasons you might find yourself in love with someone whom you can't actually enter a relationship with. It’s in your best interest to stop communication with this person when you realize you can’t be together. Unfortunately, that’s sometimes easier said than done. 

Vanessa felt torn in two. 

The more she tried to push away, the more those feelings digged in and pulled her back.

The human brain does an exceptional job at idealizing other people. When we first meet someone and the fireworks go off, we view them through the rosiest of lenses. This person gets built up more and more in our minds, and we can only think of one word to describe them. Perfect. It’s the most ideal picture of love we can paint for ourselves. In our perfect honeymoon world, there is absolutely nothing that can ruin this person for us.

Eventually, the novelty inevitably wears off and we start seeing this person differently. Their rough edges start showing. Those red flags you brushed off before are starting to feel more like emergency lights and sirens. The behavior you would have shrugged off becomes more and more concerning. You finally see that their flaws are real and plowing their way into your honeymoon world that seemed so perfect not that long ago.

Her mind and heart were at constant war; "He's manipulative", "maybe he doesn't know anything else." 

It's only been two days.. 

Maybe she shouldn't jump to conclusions. She wasn't a saint, either. 

The more Vanessa thought about it, the more her brain started to change. Something in her mind evolved. An idea, or thought. When words and thoughts are good anchors or control; when role models can become cages or keys; the wise support with wisdom and the foolish man becomes a king.

Squeezing the neck to cut off the brain’s supply of air and blood initially causes lightheadedness or dizziness. When the hold is released, the rush of oxygen and endorphins can create an exhilaration and relief.

A sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure.

There is also a psychological dynamic of control and loss of control that some find appealing.

You don’t know what’s going to happen and that’s part of the thrill of choking.

Before she was conscious of it, she wanted it to happen again. The feeling of absolute danger. Every time she breathed, she breathed out all the oxygen that she had. Everything stops; her heart, her lungs and finally her brain. Everything she feels, wants and wishes to forget, it all just sinks. Until suddenly, you're given air again. You are given life again. She remembered that when it first happened to her she got so scared, she wanted to call 911. William had turned into the biggest evil in her eyes. She wanted to be taken to the hospital and kept alive by machines. However, she didn't want to look like an idiot. 

Now over time.. it was all she ever wanted. Those few seconds of nothingness, of absolute thrill and adrenaline. 

It didn't have to be done by William. It could be anything, but she wanted to experience it together with him in the least. She wanted to share that exhilaration, that rush of ecstasy. The left side of her red lip tugged upwards creating a sinister smirk on her face; casting a spell of lust to her eyes. That little rise in the corner of her mouth combined with the cool detachment in her eyes sealed her fate. Footsteps announced William behind her, but she didn't flinch. Not like before. His presence ignited a new flame deep inside of her. A flame she wanted to pass onto him. 

A danger she wanted to create to swallow the two of them whole. 

"Vanny?" A question rose with her name. His chiseled jaw lifted with a proud, pleasant smile. Vanessa presumed his looks to be unaware of her actual thoughts and feelings. He was charming and smart. His voice was that of any rich boy, honeyed and proud. Every word he said sounded beautiful but you felt no compassion or trust for the speaker. The two of them were standing in her bedroom where a frame filled with William's pictures faced them. "Could you.. enlighten me on this?" 

Vanessa turned around with a grin after sorting out her feelings. She would not be afraid of William no more. Vanessa's room was filled to the brim with photos, texts and pins. Literally anything containing information about William Afton. "Well, I just.. I shouldn't say I am a fan of your work, but this kind of situation makes me look quite guilty. It may sound weird, but I find a.. thrill in seeking out people such as you. You might have been a long time favorite. I looked up theories, podcasts.. name it!" Vanessa's smile grows of its own accord and she can either let him see what he ignited or hide it, either way, he's the most fun thing in her world. All it takes is for her thoughts to turn to him and the excitement switch is well and truly on. It's as if there's always a trail of gunpowder in her veins and he has the only match, letting it spark, bringing her soul out to play . "I mean.. there was a rumour about bad odor.. from the old animatronic characters, right? The bodies of the children were never found. Could it be.. that you hid them inside of the suits? That's so gross.. and incredibly fascinating." The girl straightened her back proudly, before pulling out a newspaper dated back to 1983. Fredbear's family diner. "Right here. Your first victim, right? Oh! Oh, and you owned a company, as well. A sister location. It was called.. Circus Baby's entertainment and rental, but also Circus Baby's pizza world. It was.. either of the two. This.. This is where your daughter died. She was taken by your own creation. Baby was large for a reason. It was a weapon, wasn't it?" Excitement poured out of her like sunshine. Vanessa felt giddy with excitement, but the emotion slowly died out upon her empathy for William's daughter. She held a small photograph of his lost child. "You closed the establishment because of gas leaks.. but was that really the reason? You must have been devastated. You didn't want them to know about your animatronics and their true nature, right? Or.. was it purely out of grief?" Her mind was like a butterfly, whatever distraction she chose for herself her mind kept fluttering back to the man before her. Then she'd get that tingly feeling all over again. 

"William? Your eyes look droopy. What's wrong?"

Vanessa moved up nice and close in the other's personal space. William felt the kind of sadness that seeps into your bones rather than explodes in a cascade of tears. Behind the masked smile he wears on his face, there is sadness and shock. "I haven't been myself for thirty years. I honestly don't remember everything... I can't remember what my daughter looked like." 

"I must admit that this is a bit overwhelming. I don't mind answering your questions.. just don't ask them all at once." William added. He remembered her complaints. He was a secretive human being, he knew that much. He wanted to tell her more. We have feelings that are not visible, we do things to prevent ourselves from being miserable. Being honest is what makes us believable, for our feelings may not always be reachable.

"Thirty years? That's so sad." Vanessa took his hand to give him the little photograph of his daughter. He felt empty. It's like a void. A dark void. A never ending dark void that consumes everything, so you're left feeling nothing. Empty. Nothing to subside your hollow soul that creeps in the shadows, away from any other human life. "Here!" Vanessa added as the picture now lay in William's hands. 

"I don't think it's sad, at all. I don't remember it. There's nothing to be sad about if you don't know." 

A last comment that caused Vanessa to feel bitter and failed. She didn't push it any further. 

The two of them got their coats and shoes, ready to head out together and start off their day in a better fashion. "I wonder.. what do you remember from before?" The girl asked, locking the door behind them in the meantime. A stroll with William gave her some uninterrupted time to catch up. Sure, she could have meaningful discussions on their walk, but she didn't want to use it as a time to address tough issues with him just because she's got a captive audience. "Don't feel forced to answer."

It’s a good thing to make time alone for each other a priority. But time can be hard to come by. A short walk at least clears the decks for a little while. After a stressful day, a walk can help you clear the head and the heart. 

"I won't talk about such things in public. Let's continue this conversation at home." The other mumbled as he glanced briefly at Vanessa. Did she.. look taller? A brow was raised as his eyes wandered downwards to find out she was wearing heels today. The soles were thick and the stitching perfect, the heel just the right balance between femininity and practicality. With her heels she appeared to be taller than him. 

It amused her how William's body appeared young, but his mind old-fashioned. 

She caught the other looking at her with. His facial expression was one of surprise and realization. The dots connected almost instantly for the girl, there at the corner of her would-be sombre lips was a crease of amusement. "What are you looking at, William? Are you feeling like a twig?" She teased the other, causing a small chuckle to rise. 

Their height difference wasn't that much without her heels. William was taller, nonetheless. Vanessa liked a man who was taller than her. She wanted someone to overpower her, who could wrap his entire body around her in a hug. Bigger is sexy.

However, now with her heels.. she found the other to be oddly cute. Whoever started the myth that men don't like to be cuddled protectively like silverware is a bold-faced liar. Or Vanessa hoped so, at least. She wouldn't mind pulling the other along for a hug. 

The two of them finally arrived at their destination. The mall lay ready before them. The ceiling is domed higher than any cathedral and made of the most beautiful glass. The walkways flow like tributaries to the main rivers of people, not a sharp angle to be seen. It smells like heaven in a hand-basket and the floor shines like the surface of a lake at sunrise. In the background is music to soothe, gentle flowing notes to take the shopper's cares far away. 

The shopping mall is the same temperature inside no matter what the season is. The light is the same, the scent, the polished floor, the tense faces on the shoppers. The only smiling faces are the ones who sell, their humanity used like a crude fishing line to real the buyers in. It's a friendly enough place if you've got digits on your card, if you can line the pockets of the purveyors. 

There is everything you want and very little you need.

The crowd moved like a multi-headed beast that shared only one brain. Their thoughts were in lock-step as much as their feet.

To move through the crowd means getting closer to other people than William would usually allow. If it was a choice between shopping and diving into a swimming pool of cold vomit, William would take the vomit. Vanessa glanced at him, her eyes showed the kind of gentle concern. She laid her hand lightly on his shoulder, and instead of flinching like William usually did, he was soothed by it.

"What?" William asked, almost bothered as if nothing was the matter at all. The anxiety is caused by fear that there's no easy way to escape or get help if the anxiety intensifies. he's more quickly overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights and other sensory information. It's as if he doesn't have the natural protection that other people seem to have and therefore, everything hits him harder. This quickly drains his energy and overwhelms him. After such a long while of isolation from socialization, this overwhelmed William. The crowd poured gasoline into the spark of fear in his belly. his body feels hot and sweat starts trickling down his neck. His breath quickens while his hands tremble. 

The fear travelled in William's veins but never made it to his facial muscles or skin. His complexion remained pale and matte, his eyes steady. Nothing in his face betrayed his fear, it was a mask of defiance and surety. 

He felt chills. The long absence of warmth and comfort, caused by self isolation, decreased William's body temperature and increased body chills. When you're too alienated and have a lower quality of life and happiness, it can cause depression and stress, which then shows on the body, itself. No matter the struggle that is causing pains and isolation, social occurrences are crucial for a person’s happiness. Close, loving relationships and social interactions lead to the development of resilience, coping skills, and higher self-esteem. 

"I didn't expect it to be so busy." 

The cold look reflected on his face gave Vanessa shudders. His hands were tightly closed. He seemed to have no sense of humanity. An evil glint in his beady eyes. Long had William held his inner pain to be the fault of others, caused by others. Never once had he looked into the mirror of his own soul and asked what different choices he could make, not for his own sake, but for the sake of others. In each moment he made only choices for himself and surrendered to whatever fear came his way - as cowards do.

There is no harm in a thought, unless it leads to an action. 

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It's constructed of the chemicals in your brain that are a part of your base animal, to survive. Fight or flight. Strong urges follow the simple, rational, human instinct and order of thoughts: impulse, thought, pondering, planning, and then an inevitable attempt of action with enough influence.

William looked out of his mind. He tried to cover it up, however Vanessa knew. She saw his expression. He had that vibe.. that eerie feel to him. "It's okay. I got you." There is the hug of gentle arms that still gives the space to breathe; a sense of support to wash his feelings away. Vanessa carefully nudged the other towards a more quiet location of the mall. It was towards the back rooms of the building. "There.. see? No one comes here. Hey, look at me. What happened?" The girl spoke. Sometimes her voice is soft as a kitten, and as radiant as a sunset. A gentle hand came to rest against William's chin to turn his head. An index finger made him look at her. "Just focus on me, okay? Take deep breaths.. in and out.. in.. and out. All the way out. I can feel the pain that swirls in your brain. There is no need to act upon any of the thoughts you are having." Vanessa soothed him with her love. As she stroked his hair, his breathing slowed. She could soothe him like no-one else, even her own breaths were deep and even. It was impossible to stay anxious or upset with her around. 

It reminded him of someone.. a long time ago. 

"What if we go and get a drink somewhere calm and peaceful? It might help you cool off." Vanessa suggested, keeping her eyes peeled on his, yet she couldn't help but let them wander down his facial features. 

Especially his lips.

It's his lips that make the light in the rest of the room get a little bit darker. The world stopped spinning as he stood before her. Her stomach turns over as her mind races to places she didn't know it could go. 

It would be so easy right now. 

She could do it so fast, and he might not even notice. No, she didn't want to. Not like this, at least. She decided to fight her desires. It could be a missed opportunity, because Vanessa doubted another moment as perfect as this one would come. He looks so confused when she eyed his lips, especially now that she was taller.. he looked appealing and easy to kiss. 

"I would like a drink.." 

The busy river of shopping was left behind for a more quiet barista. William and Vanessa sat down together. The barista has tired eyes, yet there is that glimmer, a give away of her good heart. She's one of those surviving sparks, one of the ones who held on to who they really are. 

In the gloom of the cafe their knees almost touch under the narrow table. 

The waitress stood with what looked like a mini touch screen computer ready to take their order. William remained silent and gestured to Vanessa to order first. The girl needed something to keep her awake. Her body still hadn't fully recovered from the past few weeks of bad eating and sleeping habits caused by none other than William Afton. She decided to get an espresso. The caffeine would surely keep her awake. And so, the choice turned to William. 

"I would like a dark roasted oolong tea with milk." 

Milk in tea, apart from reducing the bitterness, reduced the staining in china cups. In the 17th and 18th centuries the china cups tea was served in were so delicate they would crack from the heat of the tea. Milk was added to cool the liquid and stop the cups from cracking. This is why, even today, many English people add milk to their cups before adding the tea. 

William grew up with his tea combined with milk to the point where it had become a habit. 

"You know.. sometimes I completely forget that you are British. Even with that thick accent... It surprised me that you drink tea with milk. Why.. Why do I like that so much?" Vanessa spoke. She was smiling a little, a smile with a twist to it, the way butterflies seemed to escape from the pit of her stomach and the way the sun had somehow toppled down from the sky and made a home right there in her heart. her expression was one of cunning. 

She was flirting. 

William remained oblivious to her seduction. 

"So, yesterday you were trying to ask me some questions, right? How about you shoot a question at me right now? If you have any, of course." She lets her smile widen into a brilliant grin, a spark of mischief in her eyes. 

William answered her determination shortly after. He was always the kind of guy that would melt into a line-up or a crowd like he was an extra, not really part of life at all. But when he talks to Vanessa.. the world stops spinning. Her heart drops cold. "Sure, I don't mind. Why did you decide to follow me? I controlled you at the start and all.. but you could've abandoned me whenever you wanted. Are you thoroughly positive that you have what it takes? Are you willing to drop all that you live for in order to grant my every wish? Are you ready to do exactly as I command? Or.. are you still trying to stop me? If you really wanted to stop me.. why am I still here? Do I have your undying faith?" His voice trails as if he's struggling against a back-drop of loud thoughts. 

A thick silence. Vanessa looked at his eyes. His eyes are so different in moments like these, almost intimidating. Before she could answer a waitress interfered. Two polished cups on the table, between the two like a barrier. Vanessa winced as she sipped her coffee - it was tepid, overly bitter. It was a source of caffeine though and so she drank like a sailor new to whiskey. She needed something to smooth her throat for this speech. "I could've betrayed you after you used me, but I didn't. You want to know why? That is because I am so invested in this. In the beginning I was afraid and a little weirded out. Your voice got stuck in my head.. only because I wanted it to. And then.. then you told me your name.. William Afton." Vanessa took a pause in order to place her hand on top of his. "That moment brought such a chill down my spine. I was frightened.. I wanted to run away, but at the same time.. I just had to endure. I had to know all about you. I wasn't scared. No, instead.. I felt thrilled. Of course you have my faith. I will do ANYTHING for you." Vanessa halted, her hand retreating and resting together with the other one. She rested her chin on top of her joined hands. Their conversation is so much more than words. That we are both elevated by each other's presence is obvious. "However, this will NOT be one-sided. I expect of you just as much as you expect of me. We work together. It's not just William. It's us. We work together and no more betrayal. I have standards too. If you understand that, we'll be fine." A deep curve on her lips makes the world stop around her. a smile that brings back a million memories in a split second. The precious dimple that crinkles skips a beat. She felt such passion. There was a need for her to withhold. She didn't want to upset the entire shop and William with it if she got too loud. "How's that for you?" 

She knows that when tension is high, she should inject love instead of anger, give him an olive branch instead of enmity. He never argued with his fists but his words packed a powerful punch. Carefully spoken, without drama, his words had an air of finality to them and no matter how hard she railed against them, nothing would change his mind.

Not this time. 

There was a feeling in his gut that said, "no," but another in his heart that said, "yes."

"I can live with that."


	6. Change of events

Their lovely time came to an end when both drinks were finished. Vanessa was the first one to stand up and grab her coat. "Are you coming, Will?" A wide variety of shops lined the footpaths: antique and art stalls, jewelry and accessory shops, luxury boutiques, souvenir kiosks and stores selling leather goods, all showcasing an array of the finest Italian wares. Tourists flocked to them like fireflies to a lamp, enthusiasm accentuating their features. 

"Ness?" 

An unfamiliar voice cut through their own. A heart of gold; he had that way of moving that honest people do, with the spark of the child and a smile that went all the way through to his core. Luis, a coworker of Vanessa. There was something about Luis that drew people to him. I guess it didn't hurt that he was a good looking boy; but it was more than that. 

"L-Luis?" The girl stammered, surprised to find him in a place like this. 

He was an easy listener, a good audience. He worked hard, he got his work done. "Nessie, are you okay? I haven't seen you in a while.." His eyes were dark brown, framed by graceful brows. His skin was tanned. He had prominent cheekbones and a well-defined chin and nose. 

"Oh please, just Vanessa is enough. Only my mum calls me Nessie. It's childish.." 

He stares at her with eyes that tell her he wasn't expecting her company either. "Vanessa, you didn't answer my question." Luis' lips almost move to speak again, then his eyes dart back to the man next to Vanessa. "Who is he?" His eyes are taking William in without moving and Vanessa knows behind those hazel eyes there are calculations going on.

Meanwhile, William was quiet, but not out of painful shyness. It was a reservedness, like a conscious choice to observe the lie of the land before he got involved. His face was stern, yet peaceful.

"Oh, he's my uncle! His name is Wilfred!" The girl spoke with a brightening smile. While she smiled at Luis, her fingers were being crushed in the grip of her other hand. She couldn't tell Luis the truth. She couldn't reveal William's true name or identity. 

William almost instantly glanced over at Vanessa with a confused frown. He was struck with indecision. Should he enter his opinion? A furrow of his brows in an expression indicating disapproval. "Uncle..?" William sounded bewildered. 

"Yeah, well.. not uncle.. more like a family friend. Anyway, Luis, to answer your question.. I know I have been off lately. Truth is.. I have been feeling terrible. Last month has been real rough.. I appreciate all of your emails. It cheers me up." Vanessa found a way to be physical with Luis. She only snuggled in, leaning her body against his similar to an embrace. Her warmth would seep into Luis' being and she comforted him. That's when he hears a sound that almost stops his heart. A small cry from Vanessa's lips. "It really got to me, Luis. Wilfred reached out to help me, too. I didn't want to bother you. You had to work and.. even took some of my shifts. I felt so guilty." 

"It's alright. Don't worry. I'd love to help you! I truly don't mind. If you need my help, let me know. I will take your shifts if it gets too much for you." His mouth twitched, and Vanny was pretty sure he was fighting a smile. "I don't mind, but.. my offer for coffee together is still standing. If you remember that?" 

The pain Luis carried in his chest was inexplicable. Luis wanted to hold her close and keep her by his side forever. It seemed like she was drifting further away. The time had come. 

The time had come for Luis to say goodbye for now. 

The group part ways and Vanessa was once again left alone with only William. She faced the taller male, and with a sigh spoke. "He's gone. Man, I'm sorry. Luis is so annoying sometimes. He never leaves me alone." Her eyes observe the other all the way to the outline of his sharp shoulder, thin arms, pale skin wrapped so tightly around his body. Cheeks sunk in with the promise of high expectations. 

"Uncle, huh? That's all you could think of? Bit of a disappointment if I say so myself." His laugh as indifferently, as politely as he can muster. An overwhelming feeling of insecurity about a potential loss or inequity in distribution of resources. A feeling associated with being possessive of another person. The demon inside William stiffens up; it is tense, alert. "You manipulated him, didn't you? Is that all he is to you?" 

"Look, I just had to say the first thing that came to my mind. I didn't want to look suspicious. Involving family makes things less suspicious, I've learned. As for his importance to me.. Perhaps I love him dearly. Would you hate that idea?" If someone truly intimidates you, you'd never dare poking even the gentlest of fun at them because you have no idea how they'd react. For some reason, Vanessa felt comfortable teasing the other and watching his face turn into a pout. He tried hard to keep himself completely serious. "Let's go look for some clothes, okay? Can you keep up, old man?" 

Vanessa was the one gathering all kinds of clothes for William. From the hue of flowers to the pattern of the oriental rugs, everything makes a statement. The fabrics are finer than she can afford, even lying over the wooden frame they are beautiful. She even found a long cloak of khaki brown that fell in graceful folds from his shoulders.

She found William holding up a fancy blouse.

Purple...

Purple is not warm. it is not cold. It is cooling and sedate. It has as many variations and mediums as the human mind. Violet, mauve, indigo, periwinkle, lavender, lilac and plum are all married to it.

"Do you want it?" 

William faced her as soon as she voiced her curiosity. A small smile played on his lips, his words were like vanilla pudding, sweet in their ordinary sort of way, it was the richness of his tones – luxurious and warm. "At an old job.. the uniforms used to be purple. This was a reminder, I suppose." 

As the two of them continued shopping, Vanessa decided to bring the blouse as well. 

"This is all I can pay for right now. Unless.. you help me out with something. Aren't you.. completely digital? Isn't it possible for you to enter.. into the system?" This isn't stealing, it's borrowing and never giving back. No one will know and besides, she's desperate. "How about you first try on the outfits? My offer still stands, though." 

"I don't like that, Vanny." With an armful of heavy clothes draped across his arm and ambition at it's peak, William begins to snake his way through overstuffed shopping aisles toward the nearest dressing room. The stuffy temperature. His own reflection staring back at him from three different angles. The fitting room wouldn't be a problem, if it wasn't for that damn tie. He hadn't worn a necktie in so long, he forgot how to put one on. 

Neckties have always symbolized nobility, honor, and order. 

"Ehm, Vanny?" 

William walked out of the fitting room to meet Vanessa with an untied necktie. William suddenly forgot how to tie a tie while in the middle of trying to do it. It was very confusing. The knot was horrible. He undid the tie and tried again. It didn’t work. He forgot where to go over and under and everything else. Fortunately, Vanessa understood without him telling her directly. "Have you forgotten that, hah?" Vanessa laughs, her chuckle lifting the spirit of the room. Her face has a softness even when it comes to mocking William. She gave a tug at William's tie to pull him closer. Vanessa folded the tie left and right, around the circus, through the loop and down the rabbit's hole. It was going swimmingly, until she looked at William, the depths of his eyes. 

What he is, what is beautiful about him, is still an unsolvable question to Vanessa. It makes her want to feel how his lips move in a kiss, how his hands follow the curves of her body.

He was skinny and his cheek bones just gave him a skeletal look. He had grown into those features, his bone structure was fine and perfectly symmetrical. He had the kind of face that stopped Vanessa in her tracks. Seduction was what Vanny did best, moving into William's personal space with just the right look of heat in her eyes. She didn't just look at a man, she looked into him as if she knew his desires. The smooth touch of her body, poisoned, just the right blend of relaxation and tension. Unexpectedly, his hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply. Vanessa was against his warm chest. She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead she left it there. His breathing quickened as did hers. 

his lips came closer and closer to hers. Vanessa was surprised to find her own lips parted. Their breaths mingled. Her heart fluttered inside her chest. William couldn’t fight against the thoughts that were going through him. Her very smell was flooding his senses now.

"About the previous suggestion.." Vanessa's familiar voice filled his ears, shaking his senses awake. The seriousness and intensity of her voice shattered their intimate moment to pieces. Cold logic alone brings cruel choices, a voice that speaks of only business. Awkwardness is one of the worst things you can experience. From what she said, William could tell she was thinking so deeply, already with a strategy that's several moves ahead. She merely lured him in with a promise of seduction. "They took everything from you, right? You were gone for too long, being unclassified and "missing". No one knew if any other Afton family member was still alive. So, the government took your money. Isn't it only fair? Isn't it only fair that you take back what's yours? Or at least take these clothes to fill up your closet like it used to be? Did you not see how empty your house was? You're allowed to have a little revenge on them. Maybe you'll feel more at peace?" She had many outstanding remarks and statements. With his guard lowered after Vanessa's cruel teasing, his ability to think clearly wavered. The possibility of a kiss and possibly more, then the withdrawal of the perceived invitation. 

She called it harmless fun, flirting with an edge. 

"I think so? I mean, what you say makes sense.. I need a moment for this to work." There was an agreement in William's words. The human brain is akin to a supercomputer built on top of a clunker. The clunker is your primitive, reptilian, survival brain. The supercomputer is what does your proper thinking, is logical, fair and kind. A complete plan had already formed in William's mind after the first time Vanessa's mentioned her idea. 

He wasn't happy with it, but a plan formed. 

Anyone knows that the highest risk for shoplifting occurs in the changing room. This is the location where the shoplifter feels free to attack the anti-shoplifting features of the merchandise. They know that closed-circuit television can’t watch them inside the changing room and there is no electronic article surveillance antennae located in the changing room or customers could not take merchandise into the changing room if there were clothing security tags located on the merchandise. However, There are clothing security tags. Clothing Security Tags Invade the “Safe Haven” of the Fitting Room. The tags will alarm when they enter the field of an electronic article surveillance antenna but they will also alarm if an attempt is made to remove the pin that secures the tag to the garment. It will also alarm if the pin is cut to remove it. 

All of this didn't matter to William Afton. The man couldn't care one bit about the breach of his privacy. He wasn't here to shoplift, either. The only thing he needed to be done was to.. enter the security system. 

This was an easy entrance. A large haywire of codes. 

While William was creating his new vessel, he added a feature that came in handy right now. He could transfer his consciousness through the tips of his fingers. This is a world that could be regarded as augmented or digital from those who dwell in higher layers of reality. There may be many different components that make up one system. The transfer happened swimmingly without much difficulty. The store lay completely bare before him. The tension and suspense solidified.

He stared at the contrasting white pixels against black as if all the URLs and fragments of code clogged the gears of mind. With a hesitancy, William transferred the contents of the shop's bank accounts into his and celebrated his brand new wealth. A guilty smile bloomed over his seemingly innocent face. 

He didn't leave a trace, for William was both real and a glitch in life itself. William could be described as an unsolvable virus in the system. He took everything. The entirety of the store. In order to achieve the amount of money he had before, the store was going to be bankrupt. 

He left the enormous maze of codes behind and traveled back to his vessel. He was untraceable. He could now dispense any amount of money right from his fingertips. William left the claustrophobic capacity of his dressing room and met Vanessa waiting for him. 

His eyes still glitch slightly, illuminating the room with a purple shine, ever illuminating Vanessa's soul.

William and Vanessa left the shopping mall after William paid for his new clothes. It was corrupted money that he used. He appeared tired. He must have tired himself out. Leaving his vessel to travel into another location takes a lot of energy, plus that the man actually hated leaving his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comment.


	7. Unwanted accident

Back at home, William finally felt the tension of the day loosen. His voice has a husky drawl. He slumped onto the couch. He closes his eyes and lets his limbs fall loose, head tilting backward, indenting the leather. Thoughts and feet wander, lungs fill, time rolls by in it's silent and endless way. 

A harsh tug sent him leaning forward. His eyes opened to reveal Vanny staring right at him, his necktie in her hand, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest. "Vanny..?" His voice came as a soft whisper. Vanessa starts off just getting a little bit flushed. She feels mildly hotter all over her body and she starts to get really aware of how much she really liked the male before her. She can feel herself start to throb and her breathing starts to fluctuate. Then the thoughts start coming, all the possibilities with William. The feeling of wanting to be touched is overwhelming, and craving the weight of a man on top of her.

Vanessa gently leans in and kisses William's warm lips. They pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to contain themselves anymore, William holds her head in his hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss. His hands work their way around her body, feeling each curve, each line along her perfect physique. 

They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Vanessa's full of wonder and love, William's full of curiosity and passion. No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated.

William leans in and softly kisses up and down her neck. She lets out little whimpers of anticipation. It was almost a silent apology for his actions from before, but it could be her imagination. William works his way back to her tender, smooth lips. 

"Are you okay with me, Vanny? I don't want to stop." Vanessa loved his need to confirm her consent, however the process of getting aroused is an enjoyable experience, so it’s not like this should feel like a chore. He was impatient. It had been thirty years since William had any form of intimate activity. Vanessa wondered if it'd be cruel to call him a virgin, however the thought made her snicker. Yeah, he's had kids, but thirty years? It's a LONG time. She wanted to mock him, which she almost did. 

"You're an idiot." The giggle rolled about the room, vibrant and heartwarming. "I don't want to stop, either. It's very flattering of you to ask." The girl mercilessly tousled and ruffled the other's hair until messy curls framed his face. His hair is untamable and unruly. 

Vanessa pulled away from the other, only to yank him along using the necktie in her hand. The long piece of cloth forced William to follow her. She positioned him in front of the bed before gently nudging him to sit down, proceeding to take her seat on his lap. "There's something I need to know. Is the rest of your body as impressive? Does it feel good.. when I do this?" Vanessa knows that once she kisses his neck his resistance will crumble. After just a few delicate touches of her warm lips, William's hands will start to do her bidding. William felt a hot breath on his ear, then the tender brush of lips. Burning as they make contact with his ear.

Vanessa wanted to drag a reaction out of him. 

She wanted to know if William's body actually reacted to pleasure. "Did you even make a dick, Will? Come on.. like a full-on functioning one? That's.. so funny." The laugh came from her like a newly sprung leak - timid at first, stopping and starting. 

There was an eye roll. William was clearly caught off guard by her comment, struggling to find his answer. "Vanny, stop it." He folded his arms, eyebrows arched, waiting. "Why are you dragging this out? You haven't forgotten our deal, right? You would obey my every wish. So, speed it up." William barely suppressed the shiver that wanted to course through him at the small action. He clearly enjoyed it when Vanny assaulted his ears or allowed her hands to wander. He may be holding this voice in, but his shuddering body was honest. 

"Oh, isn't that cute! I'm not dragging anything out.." He heard Vanessa shift, followed by the feeling of her fingers sliding underneath his chin. Those fingers, gently and carefully guided his face up until he was forced to look in her direction. "I'm only exploring your body. I want to know what you like, dislike or absolutely love. Sex doesn't have to be fast, Will. But if it's your wish.. who am I to disobey?" Vanessa is leaning forward and William's instinct is to take a step back and run for his life, but he finds himself moving closer to her. Her lips touch his and he somehow knows exactly what to do with his. They move together like two dancers sashaying through a melody. Her lips are delicate and warm. His are crusty and chapped but she doesn't seem to care because right now, in this moment, it feels as if they are floating in space and everything around them has turned to dust.

Vanessa liked it more to be patient and give herself time to feel desire.

Vanessa could feel that he was already hard underneath her and she leaned forward. That was enough encouragement for her, and she started to dance. She moved her hips, seemingly deliberately this time. Her movements were languid, melting smoothly together. Her eyes seemed to darken as she looked down at him. William's hands twitched, aching to move to grip her hips and make her continue the movement. "William?" Vanny questioned, rising up off her heels and slowly settling back down against him. "Is this what you wanted?" 

He gritted his teeth, unwilling to let biology and his body betray himself in this situation. She moved against him again, in a gentle nudging type way until she felt his hands on her hips tighten. He groaned as she moved. His thumbs dug into her hips as she rubbed rhythmically, her breathing heavy and erratic and hitching each time her clit met his hardness through his pants. She was moving harder and faster now, the need in her eyes overpowering everything including their situation. Her hands started working on his clothes, unbuttoning every tiny and horrible button on his blouse before she could slide it off his shoulders. His pants were next.

"Whoa! It does react like it's supposed to, huh? You really made a functioning little Willy!" 

His brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that he was shocked. He closed his mouth, then looked up at her with a frown. "Really?" Her hips never stopped their motion. Their hot breath mingled and William dug his fingers into her hard, causing her to yelp. William was rewarded with a whimper from her lips as she leaned forward, her forehead pressing against his. 

Vanny was determined to see William naked before removing any of her clothing. She gets the perfect view of his chest. Not that there’s much to look at but she feels compelled to bite him all over regardless. His skin prickles. It itches all over, burning under his skin as if something wants to break out and crawl out of his pores. 

Vanessa held him close. Her lips alight on his cheek like a dew freckled petal caught in a breeze, so soft and with the smallest hint of coolness.

Anywhere but his lips. She purposely avoided his lips as a tease.

Taking control. Getting what she wants. Giving him pleasure while getting her own. Being firm and assertive with what she's doing, letting William know she's the one in charge. She enjoyed being the more dominant one. "Does this drive your crazy, Will? It looks like it to me." She tried to lightly kiss, lick or nibble on his earlobes. Taking advantage of her knowledge and whispering into his ears for more.

Before Vanessa can say anything else, William slams their mouths together, their teeth clacking so hard it resonates in their skulls. She doesn’t pull away immediately, instead taking her time smothering William's lips. Nipping, biting, drinking in his eager sounds under her. 

William never beats around the bush; outright commanding whatever it is he wants and more than eager to act out if he doesn’t get it. 

It seemed like Vanessa's plans had come to an end. She shouldn’t have liked this, she knew she shouldn’t have and yet here she was again. Her thoughts of the pleasure to come were soon interrupted by an arm pushing her over. A deep, irritated exhale escaped past William's lips. It was that moment that William realized how naked he was next to her. Vanny was still completely covered. To her surprise though, he crawled up her body. He held her down easily, refusing her of any movement. "Oh my... Someone woke up, huh?" She was unable to move and was forced to sit and watch as William's eyes devoured her whole. He felt her squirming, trying to move beneath him. Now able to use both hands, William pinned her hands above her.

He ripped her shirt off, then he tossed her skirt, next he removed her bra, until finally he slid her panties down and off. William grins, proud at how well he’s tamed her for now. He shuffles back down to his position between her legs, looking over her body hungrily, like a lion ready to pounce. "I'm sure you are more than ready to take me, right? So, what do we say when I give you something nice?" The man teased, rubbing the tip of his leaking cock against her trembling slit as he curled her leg around his waist. Vanessa gasped, jerking her hips at every slight movement and push forward that he gave with his length. Now that she was receiving direct stimulation, she was having trouble finding her words. 

She sharply gasps, unable to finish her statement before he slams in, causing her to see stars. He was already in so deep just from that one push and, with his second thrust in, he was already fully sheathed. "What’s that, princess?” He cooed, his hips grinding against her furthest wall. Vanessa huffed and tried her best to squirm out of his grasp, but he was too solid and strong for her to get even an inch. The lack of preparation made it hurt. "Shit.." The girl cursed, an audible, loud gasp escaped her. This was starting to scare her. "Will.. it hurts." His rough tempo also showed just how excited he was to finally be pressed inside. Without thinking, William hoisted her legs over his shoulders, she couldn’t help her volume now as he ground himself against such a sensitive spot. With all her previous teasing and toying, she knew he wasn’t going to last long. “You crave it, don’t you?” he crooned as he leaned close. 

Her breath grew shorter and shorter, her body trying her best to keep up with his movements. He was relentless, pounding into her and growling into his follower's ear as his fingers dug into her hips. She couldn’t take it, she was set to burst. He raised her hips, moving her forward to meet his fluid and sharp movements. "William, I can’t-” She can’t even finish before he removes one of his hands from her hips, using his now free hand to silence her. Grabbing the girl by the throat, William closed his eyes for a moment as he relished in her pulse beating against his fingers before tightening just enough to hear that intoxicating gurgle. His hands squeezed tightly around her neck, constricting her airways, earning nothing but a disheveled and pathetic whine of a strained noise. 

The way William looked at her with a wide and menacing smile scared her the most. It made her think if William enjoyed seeing her in pain. She kept grabbing and pulling at the sheets as her coping mechanism. She was on the verge of screaming in tears. If her breathing wasn't erratic enough already, it sure as hell was going 120 km/ph now. Her legs moved, panicked, but he was in the zone, climax only minutes away. As his pleasure increased so did his grip. 

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She feels the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and she looks toward the window, as if the light could soothe her. There is static in her head, the side effect of this constant fear, constant stress. She hears her own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths. She didn't break quietly, it was like every atom of her being screamed in unison, traumatized. Vanessa cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of her every pore. 

And to Vanessa's surprise, William stopped. 

his mouth hung with lips slightly parted and his eyes were as wide as they could stretch, face stuck in an incredulous expression, unblinking stare. "Vanny? What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing? Are you listening to me, Vanny? Stop it.. why are you crying?" A whole flood of questions came forth. Empathy is a learned reflex. It requires practice. Some people find it more difficult to learn than others. 

William was insensitive. 

"You wanted this, didn't you? You provoked me.. I don't understand why you are crying." 

Her chest was heaving and hitching abnormally thanks to the lack of air combined with her crying. She poured warmth into him for so long and he loves it, she knows he does. Why does he always harm her? It hurts. Every time is a new wound, a new scar to add to the collection. When the frustration builds and she thinks she might explode - she takes a deep breath. "Why? Why am I crying?" She discovered very quickly that remaining calm wasn't an option. "Are you an idiot?!" Vanessa yelled as if nothing happened to her vocal cords, like they never even hurt. She wants to shout, have a tantrum and beat her hands on the ground like a toddler. She wants to vent, let it out. "Get the FUCK off me!" 

Her comment was so out of character, so far from what he knew of her, he just stared at her open mouthed. His brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that he was shocked. He closed his mouth, then looked at his toes before glancing back up to catch her eye. "Excuse me?" Was all he could say. He doesn't understand her anger. That's when william said something terribly stupid. It rang through Vanessa's mind over and over and she was just... furious. "Excuse me...? ExCuSE Me?! What the fuck?! Are you THAT oblivious?!" 

Suddenly, a smack. The slap was as loud as a clap and stung William's face. It had been an open-handed smack, like how one would scold their child. Vanessa smacked William over his head. He made a small "ouch", that was completely ignored as Vanessa continued her rage. "How do you even do that?! We're you that selfish? Jerking yourself off inside of me that you didn't even notice?! I was begging for you to stop and wait! Do you know how much that hurt?! Look at your cock! That's fucking blood!" Her eyes stopped tearing up a while ago, to make place for anger. "Do you want to know the pain I felt? Do YOU want to be on the receiving end?!" 

"Vanny, I'm sorry.." These days the word sorry is so meaningless and overused. Saying sorry doesn't fix the heartbreak you have caused, the added fear and worry to someone, sorry is just a word. It was still something unknown to William. He never apologized before. Never. Not even once during his interactions with Vanessa, either. He doesn't apologize. He never felt regret. "Should I.. leave you alone?" He tried to talk to her, carefully. He was definitely a hundred percent aware that he absolutely fucked up. Her words rock his mind, leaving it moving in foreign ways, ways he has become unaccustomed to these many years.

Vanny jerked up at William's sudden guilt. It wasn't like him, thus why she expected another remark to send her into another rage. But he seemed genuine. A sorry wasn't enough for her. That was obvious. 

Could William Afton even truly feel sorry? 

She at least appreciated his apology. He left her alone, fortunately. She needed some time alone. She didn't want him anywhere near her at the moment. The girl crashed down on her bed to finally close her eyes. She felt as if she could float into her dreams, up from her feathery bed. But she couldn't. 

Her mind was too active. 

It took her some hours to calm down her worries and let the traumatic events fade away as the night took control over her. She feels this blackness come over her. Like a blanket, but not a blanket of warmth but a blanket of coldness, making her shiver. But somehow it's making her eyes feel heavier and heavier. Vanessa finally closed her eyes, sending her into a dreamless sleep.


	8. Swirl of different feelings

Vanessa woke up to the smell of the most important meal of the day; breakfast. Her tired eyes remained closed, But the familiar smell of filter coffee rose and dissipated into the crisp air. Her nose tingled with the usual morning flavor. The air is more delicious than any flavour. Somehow the aroma captures everything good. A new day full of new possibilities. For a brief moment, her troubles of before disappeared. The sweet, savory aroma wafted through the cool autumn air. Her stomach clenched with hunger at the thought of sweet, honey rolls. She could imagine the warm, fluffy bun dripping with amber-colored liquid. She wanted anything cinnamon related for breakfast right now. This instant. 

Her neck felt swollen and her lower body was definitely aching badly. Vanny stood face to face with her bedroom door, she knew that when she entered the living room, it was game over. As the door was slowly pushed open, her eyes fell upon the source of that delicious smell floating through the air. It seemed like.. William was cooking breakfast. "Good morning, Vanny. Would you like a cup of tea?" He asked, knowing her throat must hurt after his.. actions. Women are much more verbal creatures. They actually need to hear the words coming from your mouth to acknowledge them. William wondered if another apology might do the trick.

Most women just want acknowledgment, remorse, and a little bit of suffering out of the guy who did her wrong. 

Believe it or not, William did not think of this on his own. 

Vanessa looked over his shoulder in curiosity. It smelled really good, after all. Her mouth was watering and her stomach rumbling, indicating her hunger. Being in the other's personal space still felt uncomfortable for her, so she left to wander around her apartment. That's when she stumbled upon her computer that was switched on. One look at the open Google search confirmed all of her suspicions; it was the breakfast recipe he was using. She was humoured that William even knew how to use it. He was such an old man compared to today's society. 

An idea sparked. 

She cautiously opened up her history.

The breakfast recipe wasn't the first thing William looked for. There were four other recipes. "You know.. you are like.. a robot, right? Can't you.. connect to the internet yourself and look things up safely, you moron?" She deserved to mock him, hell, she deserved to beat his head in at the moment. Then, her eyes fell upon a different search. "How to make up with your girlfriend" and "what to do when a girl is mad at you?" 

"What? Yeah, I suppose you are right.. I didn't think of that." William answered her question easily, but at the moment Vanessa wasn't focused on him even one bit. The word was of way more significance to her. 

"William..? What am I to you?" 

"A partner in our deal. You haven't forgotten our partnership, right?" Meanwhile, William brought over their breakfast to the dining room. Calling it a dining-room was somewhat misleading. It was a room. They ate in it. That was all. In it stood a cheap ikea table that rocked when you leant on it, two old white chairs from the thrift store and a pair of thread-bare orange curtains. The light bulb in the center of the room was bare and hung down on it's white wire, adding to the meager ambiance of the room. his eyes glance over towards the other girl, capturing her in her action. She looked at the laptop. Of course it caused a sense of worry, especially her question. 

Vanessa was pretty good at holding grudges. William? Oh she definitely held a grudge now. She won't say anything until the time is perfect. Vanny could see he was making an effort, that he was sorry for the things he had said and done the previous night, and Vanny wanted to let it go. She wanted things to go back to normal, but she couldn't. She knew she'd have to make William pay, make him more sorry, make him feel the pain he'd put her through. "I haven't forgotten our deal, but I'm pretty sure that a girlfriend holds a whole different meaning even to you." She'd be lying if she said her cheeks didn't blossom red upon her words. "Calling me a girlfriend would equal a sensual relation with love involved. I don't think you meant for that to happen? If you did, we really need to work on your attitude. What happened.. cannot happen again. Am I clear? So, what went through your mind? If I can understand you, I can help you." She attacked him verbally, leaving no escape. The two of them were sitting at the table together for breakfast. There wasn't a single way for him to leave her accusation. Vanessa wasn't entirely sure with her feelings anymore. He caused her a lot of hurt. "Now, let me ask again. What am I to you?" 

William had to instantaneously enable himself to detach from his internal distress and refocus his attention on what’s going on outside himself. Shifting from the role of reactive victim to an objective scientist, he's actually training his brain to stay with the more adult, rational, part of himself and not to let the present affront undermine his better judgment. "I acknowledge your feelings, Vanny. You have every right to be angry. However, I cannot explain my actions. I am not quite aware of what happened myself. I have some.. difficulties explaining my emotions right now." The world revolved around him, he saw no points of view other than his own. "As for the other question.. I used the term of girlfriend for better results online." 

"William, I expect honesty. How else am I supposed to trust you?" He could be lying to her face at any moment and she wouldn't be able to know. William speaks of lies as if he knows the truth. So, Vanessa trusts her own instinct instead. He told me he loved me and found ways to become physically close, chipping away at the emotional layers of protection. "Try." A clear demand left her lips. No hesitation. Her eyes called William out for his bullshit, however his struggle almost seemed a little bit too real. Was the man holding something back, or did he truly not know? "I said.. try." Her voice was more forceful this time. His eyes gave a slight hint of genuine confusion and rising stress. Vanny couldn't possibly believe that he didn't know what he felt. "Will, we can't fix something we don't know. So, please try? Did you feel superior? Or maybe overly excited? Or.. did the pain-filled screams excite you?" Her last question was definitely difficult. She couldn't avoid it any more. "You can trust me, William. You can speak freely of your emotions. It's alright." 

If he was feeling good he did good things, if he was feeling negative in any way he did bad things. He felt like his good deeds meant he was a good person and his bad deeds were justified. 

This time, there was a confrontation he couldn't escape from. 

In honesty, his life would be so much easier if she remained a mindless puppet in his plans. Like the time before Vanessa broke free from his control. "I told you, Vanny. I do not know!" Dread owns him, pushing against him like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse his steps away from this conversation, but he can no more avoid it than the beating of his own heart as it pounds with futility against its cage of bone and cartilage. "I can't do this. I just- you felt so weak.. and vulnerable, I couldn't help myself." A tiny bit of the truth was finally pulled apart. But it was practically only scratching the surface of his underlying desires. 

"William, please." The sigh that came was a signal, not of her resolve leaving but of the level her tension had reached. "You are very persistent." Her chair shuffled over the floor with an eerie noise. Vanny slowly stood up from her previous seat to close in on William, who tensed up. There was an unpredictability to her. William was sitting tense on his chair, his back arched and his eyes tightly on her. Her hand came to rest on the side of his face. "It's getting really old how you are not telling me the entire truth. I'm not some stranger anymore." Looking at the other from this close, she could see a tiredness in his eyes. His eyelids fluttered, but he seemed too out of it to notice. William needs time to recharge, just like any human being. 

Did he not sleep? 

"Talking about our feelings is important, Will. Neither of us can move on from this. Say it already." 

Will power is a finite resource, it burns energy in the brain; then once you run out, you give in. "My heart felt like it was racing—it beat very fast and even felt like it was pounding in my chest, or pounding in my head. I couldn't quite catch my breath. My muscles tightened—my body felt tense and on edge. I felt like my head was pounding or pulsating. All of this energy needed to be spent somehow, or I felt like I might explode. Only when I acted upon my thoughts, everything fell silent. It was finally quiet. Only when I heard your sobbing, I noticed what caused the silence. I don't like the idea of hurting you, but it felt so good to inflict pain on.. anything. I feel sorry for you.. ending up like that." 

"William, I can't heal you, but I can help you to heal yourself." Most of us don’t really listen very well. Or if we do manage to listen, we are often just waiting until the other person finishes so that we can say what is on OUR mind. Vanessa was different. All of us want to be listened to, all of us want to really be heard. So, Vanny set out to be William's mental support during his explanation, knowing it was a difficult task for him. "See? Talking about your feelings isn't bad. With this information I can help you. We can prevent anything bad from happening next time. You feel a lot of pent up anger, huh? If something is pent-up, it's restricted or held back in some way. You might appear calm and collected, but if you've secretly got a lot of pent-up anger, it will eventually need to be released. Boom! Someone gets hurt." One hand scrunched into that tumble of hair, those strands of hair that defied rules and gravity with equal contempt. William was sorry for his actions. He wasn't proud of it. "Warn me next time, okay? This can't happen again." 

"Thank you.." For several sweet moments he didn't have to hide behind a mask, not of happiness, not of coping, he could be honest and get heartfelt advice. He could be himself, as twisted of a man as he was. The stress he got is a bit like running too many files on a computer. It slows things down, stops him from being able to do what he needs to do. The house was a mess and it didn't matter, he could do it after their conversation. 

Vanessa inspected the other closely. He sat, tired-eyed, and slumped over the table. 

William could use a nap, she thought. 

"Hey, Will? Why don't we take a small nap? We both seem like we need it." Vanny suggested, since she too, felt unreasonably exhausted. All of the emotional tension caused her body to shut down. 

Vanessa led the other towards her bedroom, nasty memories flashing before her eyes last time the two of them entered this room. She still wanted to try and sleep with his presence in the room. She won't let this fear get the best of her. William feels as though energy is being constantly drained out of him, as though he's leaking electricity. It's as if every eye lash weighs more than it should and gravity has been turned up ten fold. Another reason she wanted to watch over him as he slept. 

He was tired as hell, weary with the burden of long-closed eyes; he could have easily pulled off being a walking zombie.

"Calm down, William. You can fall asleep. You will feel better after that." Vanny reassured the other, helping him onto the bed despite his complaints. Of course he would be worried being here again. He tried to keep his eyes open, he really did.  
But it was so hard, and he was so comfortable.  
Soon, that was all that he was aware of: The soft mattress underneath him, the warmth of the sheets around him. His eyes began to drift closed. He was blissfully unaware of what was going on around him. As his head lolled onto the pillow, his eyelids finally slipping closed; Vanessa smiled. "Is that a little bit calming?" She asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, gently rubbing his arm. It was clear as daylight that some of his humanity had rotten away together with the old suit he was stuck in. Yet, she wanted to give him a chance. 

The rest of him slowly leaned into her, the rest of his body going limp. She could finally see him sleep. Without the complex workings of his conscious mind he looked so vulnerable. With her arms about his neck and a leg over his belly he breathes softly in her face. He wasn't so scary right now. Vanessa wasn't an oblivious girl. She knew damn well what kind of man William Afton was. She knew how dangerous he was. She knew what she was getting herself into. She's not 100% herself, either. It was obvious that William.. changed. He was paranoid, delusional, mental and maybe more feral. But can you truly blame him? Now that wasn't an excuse for his deeds, but the man was stuck in a rotting suit for years on end. After years and years of clinging onto his own dead and rotting corpse in hope to survive, his soul had started to rot. It ripped itself apart. She can't change him, she can only help him. She doesn't mind if he's a little out of his mind sometimes, but lately it was getting a bit extreme. He needs to grow accustomed again to life. She doesn't want to tame him. She only wants him to find his humanity.. and a bit of peace maybe. 

As Vanny awoke from her nap, she left William to his dreams while she decided on their dinner. She wanted something special.. like Mac and cheese. Eh, that was too plain. Maybe.. if she adds ham? Sure. A decision was made. She left William's grasp in order to do groceries, leaving Will to his own devices. 

Hours passed and with a long exhale William can detect the tell tale signs that his brain is still waking from a nap, there are the vestiges of a dream, turning in nonsensical ways, grasping to remain. Then from nowhere came the memory of where he was supposed to be by this time and especially with who. Before the dream can reassert itself his feet are taking him out of the bed. 

She was gone.. 

Vanny was nowhere to be seen. 

The first signs of the panic arrive. It's a discomfort in his chest, a feeling in William's brain like excess caffeine... then it sets in deeper. Suddenly, he was outside. William had left the house in a rush. He was running – all thoughts of the cold air banished behind a wall of worry. A fear of abandonment. Even with the adrenaline his feet slowed and he felt the vomit rise in his throat. 

She wouldn't leave him, no. 

Or.. would she? 

In that moment of loss my world collapsed- Though William's mind called out to Vanessa, the connection was gone. She was gone... and finally William knew that his time to be alone had come. A fear of abandonment is a complex phenomenon in psychology that is thought to stem from trauma. Although it is not an official phobia, the fear of abandonment is arguably one of the most common and most damaging fears of all. 

But William had a solution. He always had one. Facial recognition. A facial recognition system is a technology capable of identifying or verifying a person. There are multiple methods in which facial recognition systems work, but in general, they work by comparing selected facial features with faces within a database. The ability to uniquely identify a person by analyzing patterns based on the person's facial textures and shape. And so, someone caught his attention. A girl stood with a hip jutted to one side, her right arm draped across her slender body, clasping the elbow opposite. There was a warmth her brown hair brought to her features, a simple frame for that smile and eyes that held more love than she would ever admit to. The hue altered as the strands curled and moved, as free as autumn leaves playing in the dayshine. 

"Vanny?" The man asked, careful in case she was an ordinary stranger. 

"Will..? What are you doing here? It's dangerous." The girl spoke up, but it almost seemed like William couldn't hear her. Anger is a normal emotion, and something that everyone experiences. But just because it’s normal, doesn’t make it easy to handle. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" She froze. The outrage, the entitlement, the jurisdiction in his voice frightened her. "Why did you run away?! You can't get away from me, Vanny. Don't you dare leave me. You can't." People are human. They have moods and things on their minds. 

Regardless of how much Vanny cares for William, she cannot and should not be expected to always have him at the forefront of her minds.

"I will NOT allow it, Vanny." From her point of view, William's sudden personality shift seems to come from out of left field. William was blowing up. His mind was going a hundred miles per hour. The worst ideas of what could happen surface that only brought more fire onto his fury. He's gone as far as he can on this path alone. What's left is a form of loneliness that requires a lover to solve. It's the need for physical closeness, for touch, for emotional warmth from a partner in life. His eyes have frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle, robbing them of their usual warmth. He's in there, Vanny knows it, but it's like he just took a huge step back from life.

Vanessa's mind started to feel heavy, a headache erupting. She felt unfocused. Her eyes were more fixated on him and she fell under a trance. Everything.. was very familiar. She knew what was happening, and how to snap out of it. Meanwhile they started to get the attention of people around them. William's shouting gained quite a few eyes. "William! Would you please shut the fuck up?" She interrupted his aggression with a piece of her own. "Get inside and we will talk." 

The two of them left the public for a more enclosed conversation inside of the building Vanny lived in. William seriously never trusts her. It started to weigh her down. 

"First of all.. Will, did you possess me?! What the fuck? You think that lowly of me? Man, I could kick you in the shin at any time, you know?" She tried to keep a calm and steady voice, because talking hurt and in hope it'd calm William's worries. "William, I left a note on the fridge. Did you read that? I only left to get groceries for dinner, that's all." His awkward glance away from her immediately told her he didn't read it. Well, it was a little vague, sure. Weren't sticky notes on fridges a thing back in his days? Maybe a bit stereotypical of her. "What I'm trying to say is.. I wouldn't leave. I didn't want to wake you up, that's why I left quietly. You can have faith in me, okay?" 

"I.. didn't want to be stuck again.. alone. You are the only person.. who sees and has seen me for what I am and used to be. I didn't want to lose you." 

That was very sudden. It left Vanny at a loss for words. It was always shocking when William was genuinely honest. She could see it in his eyes, his movements, his drooping posture. Everything about the other spoke of his true feelings. A singular moment where his mask finally fell and his feelings lay bare. "William..? I like it.. when you use that name, you know? I haven't heard anybody say it in so long.. I've gone by the name of Dave Miller for a while.. in order to hide my identity." William added with a small chuckle, a genuine show of bliss. 

The girl leaned her head against his chest, the invitation for his embrace. 

"You will not be alone, you lil' piss baby. Don't freak out about that again, okay? I won't leave. Stop worrying about it." William is feeling anxious or insecure, and vanny only wants to lift his spirits. Simply being there and showing concern can make a world of difference. "You like it when I call you William? Yeah, you don't really look like a.. Dave to me." 

"... What did you call me?" 

William's questions of confusion were ignored. She left him to wonder for himself. Instead, Vanny made William help her carry the groceries inside of their shared apartment. They were left on the counter. 

"You still seem tense.. please, don't be." Letting him know she's in his corner could give him that extra ounce of confidence he's been looking for. Vanessa leaned closer for a small kiss. When she kisses his cheek, Will knows there is more to it, for Vanny to get so intimate there is always a pressing reason. Then he hears her speak, barely a whisper as she draws back and smiles, "Why don't you sit down for now? I will help you calm down." 

Vanny made him sit down on the couch, seeming to almost fall into it. The sofa had certainly seen better days. The battered floral design was worn thin in places but not quite to the point of ripping. But that was the least of William's concerns at the moment. "Vanny, are you sure?" He couldn't deny.. being interested in her offer. He had a hunch of what she was talking about. He did not want to push his luck, though. 

"Does it look as though I do not want this?" With indifference that contrasted William's excitement, Vanny had peeled his too-tight trousers from him and thrown them into a heap on the floor. "I want this as well, okay?" Her lips brush his. Not innocently like a tease, but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. With William's focus wavering, Vanessa's hands carefully undo his necktie. She planned to use this for a makeshift handcuff. She didn't feel confident enough with his hands being free.. after last time. That, plus the fact that.. William at her mercy doesn't sound all wrong. Despite his tied hand, twitching erection and parted thighs, William had looked anything but vulnerable.

"Did you.. Did you just trick me?" William asked, dumbfounded. The head of William's cock was dark pink- nearly purple- with an almost clear wetness seeping out of it's slit. Really, it shouldn’t have been interesting at all, but Vanny couldn’t stop her finger from curiously dragging circles along the tip. William chuckled, keeping his hips still as Vanny explored. After ignoring the man's words, Vanny blew the smallest puff of air onto the throbbing erection in front of her. It twitched slightly in response, perhaps feeling a little more exposed than it's owner, and Vanessa smirked to herself. 

"Perhaps you should get used to being tricked more often. I quite like it." 

For all his posturing, William had gotten hard, despite Vanny not even touching him a whole lot. 

Vanessa met his eyes with a new curiosity, changing the subject, "William, I have a question. It's sudden, but how does this work? Is there sperm in there? Is it an actual substance similar to sperm? Is it even possible to get pregnant from it?" There was a silence forming while Will just stared at her, boredly. It seemed as if he was thinking what to even answer. 

"Vanny.. never ask that again, please? What a perverted mind you must have.. first using my own necktie to tie my hands, and now asking such a ridiculous question and ruining the mood." He was mocking her. He still felt as though he were the superior one in this position, but that wasn’t anything all that new. Vanny let her nails drag harshly down his thighs as a warning, reminding him of just who was in control. He laughed in response and parted his legs a little further, apparently unable to simply sit still and allow himself to be serviced. 

How odd it was to see William this way. She’d always known that he’d act as though everything was going according to his plan, regardless of whether it was or not, but watching him try to convince himself that he wasn’t dying for her to touch him further… It wasn’t something that she thought she’d ever get used to seeing.

With the fingers of each hand drumming on the crease separating William's thighs from his pelvis. The skin was slightly darker and thinner, and though her touch was anything but light, it sent shivers coursing through his body. He felt more exposed now that she wasn’t busying herself with his erection, almost as if he were being inspected. It felt uncomfortable, but that feeling was restricted only to his mind.

Vanny found herself loving the scenery of him in a form of submission. His legs shook a little more violently, but he gave her no response. 

"You should pay closer attention to your own words.. might give me some ideas." The girl spoke. What William hadn’t expected was for Vanny's palms to glide down his thighs and catch beneath his knees, and he certainly hadn’t thought that she’d push them toward him so that he could be spread even further. The movements caught him by surprise to the extent that he was powerless to struggle against her, and by the time he’d realised what was happening, it was already too late.

She shoved her face toward him, letting her nose rub firmly against the bottom of his shaft where it met his testicles. The idea that Vanny's face was touching him so intimately did more than the sensation itself, and William was forced to swallow a quiet hiss. It took a second for her to locate whatever it was she was looking for, and after mumbling something into his skin, she let her tongue slip out of her mouth.

Her tongue was cool compared to the warmth of William's flushed skin, and he couldn’t help but tense as it snaked along the skin between his testicles and anus. He clenched despite his best efforts, back arching off the desk as a soft red coloured his cheeks. This was too much, even for someone with so little shame, and it took every ounce of self control William possessed to stop himself from crawling backward and away from her. 

As delusional as he could be, not even William believed that Vanny was powerless or weak in her current position.

Carefully, though not hesitantly, Vanny angled her face upward, allowing her tongue to flatten as it moved higher. She glanced at William from over his erection, her tongue gliding higher still until it reached the seam of his testicles. He tensed again and released a slightly more violent hiss, and stared at her with unblinking eyes. To show any weakness of his own would mean that she’d won this battle, and he wasn’t willing to go down as easily as she was. Challenged by William's reluctance to surrender, Vanny decided to take things a step further. She’d already come this far, and so stopping would be ridiculous. As her eyes narrowed, she let her tongue slide over the bottom of William's testicle playfully. After toying with it for a moment, her mouth slipped further open, and she sucked it carefully between her lips.

Her teeth brushed against it, though William couldn’t tell whether it was deliberate or not. 

She pulled back and wiped the spittle from her mouth with the back of her hand, unable to hide her grin at William's barely concealed mortification. “Did you enjoy that?”

"You are such a bitch.." 

She trailed a finger over the skin of his buttocks, lazily drawing symbols on it as it moved further down. Her smile remained fixed in place as she moved her face closer to him, her tongue darting out at the last moment to drag languidly from his testicles, along his shaft, and to the tip of his cock. She wrapped her tongue around the tip of his cock and pulled it into her mouth. The strangeness of the taste was overridden by the small cry he gave as she sucked at the head. The power she felt was more than enough to make up for any longing she might have to feel repulsion. He was crumbling beneath her, a wreck of human desires and wants that only she could give him, and that was far more alluring than she’d ever imagined it to be. 

She slipped her mouth further down his shaft as her lips covered her teeth, applying random bursts of pressure as she slowly started to bob up and down. He felt hot and firm, somehow harder than he was a second earlier, and she listened as his breathing became more erratic. How far could she push him, she wondered, loosening her jaws as she slid her lips down to the base of his cock. He brushed against the back of her throat roughly, and she felt as he fought the urge to buck up into her mouth. To have such control even as it was being peeled away from him piece by piece.

Moving more quickly, Vanessa's motions became longer and more fluid. She pulled herself along his shaft, pausing at the top only to let her tongue dip into the slit at the tip, then dropped herself back down as fast as she could manage. Her jaw was starting to ache, but William's twitching and groaning motivated her to continue.

With each movement, she felt herself becoming bolder. The flat of her tongue pulled along his cock, drawing out small gasps and whimpers. William was desperately seeking a way to steady himself, fighting against his bound hands. 

This was happening too fast, he knew that, but he couldn’t quieten the bubbling beneath his skin. William felt full and heavy, like a river during a thunderstorm, and it was becoming painful for him to hold back. Cries and groans mixed with the curses and prayers he was mumbling, his composure having long since disappeared. He’d been swept away by the warmth of her mouth and the dampness of her tongue, and it was almost more than he could bear.

His back arched painfully from the couch as he fought to keep his hips in place, and his knees attempted to reconnect as his thighs squeezed the sides of Vanny's face. A loud, unabashed cry escaped his throat. He filled her mouth quickly, and even if he’d tried to pull away from her, it would have been impossible. She kept her lips sealed around the base of his cock as her tongue swirled the semen against his shaft until his back finally hit the couch once again. It wasn’t until he was a whimpering, quaking mess that she pulled away from him, sucking his dick from base to tip until it slid out of her mouth with a wet plop.

"You seem satisfied! I'm going to freshen up and start dinner." 

Vanny pat the other's leg before leaving his side. The girl cleaned herself and so did William. Not a lot of emotional interaction followed their intimate moment, leaving William with a sensation of longing for her company.

Instead, Vanny started with her idea for dinner. 

Mac and cheese, a very quick and easy fix to a tasty side dish. She can never have enough cheese, and Vanny usually adds an extra half cup without ruining the recipe. Vanessa took out the pasta and other necessary ingredients after she fetched herself an apron. Outrageously cheesy, ultra creamy, and topped with a crunchy Panko-Parmesan topping. She was already getting hungry. With her cooking, Vanny had turned on the radio. It switched throughout the different centuries of music. Music fills the air without effort, like the waves filling holes in beach sand; the sound rushing in and around her in the room. A lively tempo always lifts her mood, elevates the spirit and makes her move rhythm just slightly. It surely made cooking much more fun. 

"You listen to this, Vanny? I still remember this from my years.. it's pretty old, isn't it?" William's voice came from behind her, letting her know he was once again present in the room without her expecting him. 

"Jesus, you gave me a heart attack. You're always so quiet.. hn? Anyway, I listen to older music sometimes. I thought you might appreciate the gesture." Familiar music actually feels better to William. It brought him happier memories. This is one of the biggest gifts that you can ever have. There were no computers and music was music. "It is pretty old, but so are you. Aren't you, old man?" Vanny teased the other, in her arrogant triumph, she smirked. 

Vanny brings a large pot of lightly salted water to boil. She cooked the macaroni in boiling water, stirring occasionally. She was busy and focused. William walked up to her slowly and pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around Vanny. His embrace was warm, and his arms seemed very protective. Vanny sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. He gently made her sway to the music, gently wobbling from side to side with her. His head came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing her frail body just a fraction closer to his. There are times it feels as if the music is teaching his brain how to flow, how to be so peaceful. It's as if the slowly changing tone touches different parts, a sort of auditory massage for his mind. It is an invitation for slowness and to feel the presence of himself together with Vanny, and nothing else. 

Vanessa did not enjoy dancing, which could be caused by her idea that she couldn't. 

"William, I'm busy." She argued with the other, and unexpectedly William left her alone. It raised some concern for Vanny. If she were to dance, she'd never live that down for as long as she'd be alive. William let her cook in peace, well, only until there was nothing else left to do for Vanessa but wait. 

"So, can I now have this dance, Madam?" He found an opening as Vanny stood before him with no other task. William gave a theatrical bow and held out his hand for hers to take. There was nowhere left for her to go. 

She hesitantly took his hand, "I didn't know you could dance.." the girl mumbled. 

"Can you?" He pulled her along graciously. The music spun around them, lifting away gravity. She couldn't count how many times she had squished William's foot under her own. Still, he smiled brightly as their heels clicked over the floor. He watched as her hair spun out and bounced more with each move and beat. 

She rested her head on his chest, and let him sway her body 'round and 'round again. 

She could hear William's heart, his heartbeat is steady like a drummer, keeping rhythm, keeping beat. It was entirely different from hers. Her heart was pounding in excitement, going absolutely haywire. She was frozen to the spot. Vanny wasn't quite able to face reality. She loved it. She absolutely adored this. "So, uhm.. do you.. kiss every girl you meet in a random children's horror game?" Vanessa never quite received an answer to her statement, only William's body that tensed momentarily under the uncomfortable pressure of her question. It made Vanny grin. Oh, The Joy to do it, and that face Will makes when he sees her smirk. So satisfying. "Are you speechless, Willy? Never thought I'd see the day!" His face was priceless. It made her want to drag this out. Her hands slip smoothly underneath his shirt. The sudden cool touch of her hand making contact with his lower back caused him to let out a short gasp. Vanessa's hands start at the bottom of his lower back and head south to the top of his tailbone. The girl placed the heels of her hands on either side of his spine, and stroked firmly outward toward his sides. Goosebumps line up his skin almost instantly. The bumps on William's skin at the base of his body hairs involuntarily stand up, showing he was experiencing some form of sexual arousal. Her action made William's mind fill itself with images of sex with her. This kind of touch created that delicious anticipation. "So, that makes me think such a thing is common?" Vanny continued. 

Still, no answer.

Until, finally...

"Vanny, please stop." 

Mocking brought her nowhere, she learned. So, instead a more serious question should do the trick. "How did you learn to.. dance?" The sudden shift of their conversation visibly made William stumble over his actions. His attention to their dance wavered. 

"I was a performer, remember? Dancing was all.. part of the act. My wife used to love dancing, as well. It was an activity she was very fond of." 

"oh, yeah.. your wife." Vanessa somehow forgot William was married. His eyes still spoke of an extreme fondness for his deceased wife. He had reached the point where he loved his wife, but was no longer in love with her. William wasn't looking for a new partner, but he was lonely. Though, Vanny had a few concerns. She felt a growing jealousy deep inside, that was entirely ridiculous. "Do you remember much of her?" 

She felt threatened of her position. 

"I do. I lied to you before. I do remember my past." 

William's dance together with Vanny slowed down to a halt. It sneaked up on William quietly and took him under its arms in an instant. Every memory played like a song in his head, repeating itself for what seemed like forever. He was lost mostly because William had lost a big part of himself. He couldn't get that part back and he wanted it so bad as if his life depended on it, but it was all gone, vanished in thin air. William spent so many years neglecting his family for his own workaholic ways of finding immortal life and a cure for his family to be together forever. 

Their happiest day forever. 

"I understand your grief, but didn't Mrs. Afton die forty years ago?" Vanessa's comment gave William Afton this heavy feeling that’s like the weight of the world resting on his shoulders and there is nothing he can do to get out from under it. It left a foul aftertaste. It felt like his life had been on pause ever since his every possibility was locked away together with his physical body in the Bonnie suit. "Well, dinner.. is ready. Let's just eat, okay?" 

The dining table was long and solid wood. William and Vanessa were seated across from each other in a deafening silence. Dinner sounded at last--at eight o'clock, or something after. He ate rapidly, stuffing his mouth too full. The festive mood of before had dropped below zero quite fast. He was eating as quickly as he could, possibly to leave their shared dinner sooner. 

Which she despised..

"Okay, stop stuffing your face, moron. I'm sorry, okay? I reacted a bit harshly. Don't gobble down your food to leave the table sooner." What hurts is betrayal, thoughtlessness, uncaring attitudes and careless gossip. Vanny knew by now that William was no stranger to these actions. Despite that, she'd feel horrible if she were to act the same way. "You suck, but so do I. Let's end this night in a more positive tone, okay? Do you want to watch a movie together? Remember when I was gone for groceries? I found an old fashioned candy store.. I bought some snacks you might recognize." 

Vanny held out her hand to William. She wanted to be closer to him in a way. 

Will took her hand reluctantly, staring up at her with the tiniest, unpleasant frown. "I get it. I'd like to watch a movie." For a moment he had frowned and looked annoyed. 

Dinner finally came to a less hasty end, and made place for another attempt at a peaceful night spent together. Surely, William was a whole lot of work to socialize with. The lights were turned to a lower setting, creating a more comfortable atmosphere. Vanessa lit her candles to set a mood, the scent floating through the air aimlessly. Vanessa wanted to spend a nice and carefree evening with William, so it's worth putting in some extra time to make her inner sanctum a restful, warm place to retreat. 

A good film can make you laugh, cry, jump out your seat, or cuddle up a little closer to your date. There’s something fun and unique about having a romantic date night at home with William. You don’t need to book any tables or stand in any lines, there’s no fear of sitting next to someone crunching loudly on popcorn at the movies, and you won’t be burdened with sitting next to a loud couple arguing at an expensive restaurant ruining the whole idea of a romantic night out. It’s a lot more special and intimate having a private movie night in with the one you love. Vanessa wanted to have a fun night, despite their little trouble before. 

This is Vanny's opportunity to have a relaxing evening showering each other with love and showing their romantic sides. 

Even if she had to drag William's romantic side out of him. 

She made sure to have a soft, furry blanket for snuggling under during the movie. 

The two of them decided on a scary movie. The room is completely dark or dimly lit with just a few candles.

"Come here." Vanessa called William, wrapped up in a blanket like a cocoon. She wanted nothing more than for the other to join her. He seemed doubtful. However, he couldn't turn her down. The hug was a simple enough gesture - affection, perhaps the fragile beginnings of love. He held her close, brushing a strand of dark brown hair away from her face. William stroked her long hair and pulled her into his chest. In seconds her body is moulded to his own, sharing her body heat as easily as she shares her heart.

Vanessa wished she could extend the night just so she could stay close to him for longer.

Tiny forms race across the pixels. Vanny felt a gentle smile from within, one that only showed in her eyes. The movie was attention grabbing and required no intellectual effort. 

They sat cosy with a blanket, glued to the box, eyes almost turning square and sitting entranced. The volume was turned up so loud the windows were vibrating.

William didn't even know why he was watching it. He didn't laugh when he was supposed to, he didn't feel any tension during the drama, he barely followed the plot. His face was drained with a gaunt expressionless stare. His eyes rest on the flickering screen. 

"It's a little boring, isn't it?"

Vanessa enjoyed the movie, but her mind couldn't help but get distracted. William was the culprit. He was getting her more distracted. More often than not, it feels that way. Their relationship existed of up and downhills. They argue nonstop. And yet, as William sat so comfortably together with her, it almost seemed like all of her worries vanished. "What? You're bored? I don't think it's boring." 

"This movie is dumb." William whines for the second time. 

William had such a way with words.. "Don't be such a girl," She wraps her arms around his torso and hugs him close. "I bet you're tired," she says as his arms encircle her waist and his head lolls to her shoulder.

"Maybe," he murmurs with a tiny sigh. Vanessa smiles happily as a few minutes later into the movie he goes limp. There's something so lovable about vulnerability. In her opinion, it takes a lot of trust to sleep next to another human being, especially adults. William clearly trusts her, and that she won't harm him in his sleeping state. It shows William either knows she is there and trusts her, which is a nice feeling, or he just looks so relaxed as he is having dreams and pleasant thoughts. 

The warm bronze sunlight was swallowed by the horizon. The bright sunny day engulfed in darkness. The cold night tired Vanessa and she closed her eyes. Nightfall had come to claim her energy. She joined William in a chaos of dreams as the two of them slept together on the couch.


	9. The start of something new

The obnoxious noise of a phone woke Vanny up in the morning. From nowhere came the sound of an old fashioned telephone, so authentic that Vanny in her drowsy mind scanned the room for an antique, something that wouldn't look out of place in an old movie. It took her awhile to recognize her own ringtone. "Vanessa speaking?" The girl spoke softly, her eyes glancing over to William who was still deeply asleep. "Oh, Luis! What..? You.. can't cover my shift today? But- Yeah, I get it. I can't- shit, Luis! I know I haven't reacted a lot to things.. okay, I get it.." the call ended as abruptly as it started. 

Leaving a furious Vanessa.. 

"Motherfucker.. I'd take a bus ride myself to come over and kill you.." Due to her own stupidity, she was already late. With the sudden increase of stress and activity around the house.. another obstacle woke up. 

"Vanny..? What the hell.." 

Stress wreaks havoc on her body, so it's no wonder that being stressed when she's running late makes things a whole lot worse than they need to be. It goes without saying that stressing out won't magically make her apparate to the place she needs to be on time. "William, goodmorning. I didn't mean to wake you up, I'm sorry. I just.. I just got a phone call. I need to work today. I need to go. I'm already late. There's no way I'll be in time.. my boss will kill me." Vanessa's brain is a violent whirl of stupidity, trying to organize the chaos in her life. "I'm leaving you here, okay? Be good. I can't take you along. I will see you after work." She'd have to tell an excuse.. maybe traffic got in her way. That could possibly work. She'd much rather take William along and keep him close, but that simply wasn't an option. 

As her legs carried her towards the door, footsteps behind her caused the entirety of her body to tense. The approaching footsteps have the threat of an impending danger. Before she even had the chance to leave, William slapped the door shut once more as his body leaned over hers intimidatingly. There is a stubbornness about her that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. Her courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate her. Yet, the pounding of his footsteps made her feel so helpless.

"You.. are leaving, Vanny? How could I be sure that you would come back to me?" 

She forgot this was William she lived with.. 

A person whose personal walls would put the Bastille to shame. He doesn’t trust easily, and his guard will go up at the first hint that he might get hurt. He usually bolts at the slightest whisper of uncertainty in a relationship, especially if he thinks that there are things going on that he's not aware of. This wasn't her fault. He wasn't mad at her. He's likely seeing some kind of parallel between a current situation and something William experienced years ago, and he's reacting to the emotions being drummed up by that, rather than what’s happening now. 

"William.. I have to work. There's not even any other option here. Do you-" Vanessa hesitated shortly, "do you not trust me?" The same conversation happened over and over again, the constant fear, dealing with being pushed away or being pulled too closely. It’s hard to determine what Vanessa needs to do. "William.. what the actual fuck?! Man, I wouldn't leave you! How many times do I have to say this?!" It’s a battle William can’t always control and an odd sense of insecurity within a relationship can drench him like a wave crashing on the shore. He doesn’t intentionally want it to happen, it just naturally does. It just.. came to the point where Vanny started to feel helpless. 

"You are not leaving. I won't let you. Don't you dare walk through that door, Vanny." He scowled her, though his voice carried a sense of hurt and suspicion about her. It didn't quite match the furious look in his eyes. 

In return, Vanessa's eyes were hard-rimmed and fixed, so much so that it was as if she was no longer able to move her eyeballs, like they'd rusted into place. A fierce glare. "Excuse me?! No.. No! You can't do such things, William! I'm doing this for the both of us!" By this time, she pushed him out of the way. She made herself loud and clear. 

He always doubts what she is saying and brings up pointless things about the past that may be relevant to whatever it is he's afraid of. 

She left the apartment and trudged along the pavement with her heels. She walked, shoulders back, yet eyes frequently checking her own appearance; it was as if she felt superior and insecure all at once. Trust is a fragile thing. Regardless, the idea of trust is the most basic, yet essential part of every single relationship. It is the spine, the backbone of what it means to love another person. And she lacked this. She somehow made William go entirely bonkers with distrust. William pulls her in close, and wants to keep her there, suffocated under the guise of ‘protected’. He wants to know everything about where she's going, who she's with, what she's wearing, why she's friends with so-and-so and if she's lying.

The way they treat you is the complicated mess of their life. 

William followed Vanny, even now. He wasn't very subtle about it, either. But it’s not her problem. Yes, Vanessa loves this person. Yes, she is loyal to this person. Yes, she is honest and would never hurt him and cares so deeply for him and his broken past. But Vanessa is someone who is worthy of trust. And the baggage that William carries, drags like dead weight is only that—dead weight. You can’t truly love without trust. Any relationship that isn’t built with a secure foundation of faith will break. "We can talk this out, can't we? I said some things I shouldn't have.. and I have done some things wrong. I'm aware of this. Can't we talk about this, Vanny? Stop ignoring me, Vanny. I won't stop following you.. if you act like this. You just.. can't leave me. I understand that I cannot come along with you, but you dropped this subject so suddenly. I didn't really have time to prepare, right? Isn't that a bit cruel? Didn't you handle that a little poorly?" It took long enough for William to speak up. The inevitable caught up with his consciousness. 

"You're not putting your blame and insecurities on me, Will. Say it. You always avoid it. So, say it." 

He was left indecisive and doubtful. He stared at her, as if he had no clue what she was talking about.. but he knew. He always knows. He knows everything. 

"I'm sorry." 

The girl gave a small, warm smile. She wasn't feeling very well, but putting William at ease meant for a bigger chance that he would leave. "That's it! Now, that wasn't so difficult, right? Go home and wait for me. I know that deep inside of you.. you know I won't betray you in any way. There is a phone on my desk. It's an old one. I still have that number saved in my current phone. I'll text you every hour, okay? If you press the longest button on the side, it will turn on. If you touch the screen and move it upwards, you will need to enter a code in order to log in. The code is 0000." Being kind to William might be a nice bandage, but it won’t heal the wound. The change needs to come from him. It will be a long process. Vanny wanted to be sympathetic. 

And so, William watched as Vanessa walked away. He let her go. 

There's that feeling in Vanessa's stomach, a soft mixture between nausea and electric tingles. Her head has begun to buzz and her heart rate increases as if she's running away the way she wants to. Work lies ahead. Even though Vanny is walking, it feels more like the sidewalk is a conveyor belt; like she's a cow in the slaughterhouse heading toward the captive bolt.

We all know there are ways to be professionally nice and ways to be professionally unpleasant. 

Sometimes Vanessa couldn't keep up her act.

Telling herself to stop being anxious when she's feeling anxious is a bit like telling yourself to fall asleep when you have insomnia — it doesn’t work. She just has a formless feeling of dread. She told herself that she's got this, to stop worrying, stop obsessing, get her head back in the game and just focus! 

Seeing that fail, she's right back into catastrophizing — the next thing she'll worry about is that she'll get fired. 

Work that creates real value - childcare, research, building, teaching, art - is barely paid at all, while the banksters and lawyers rake it in. It's no wonder the world is in a negative spin, it's the polluters and the economic-leeches that get fat in this rigged game of some eighty years, the one we call economics. 

She hated her job.

She hated working for others and letting them tell her what to do. 

Only then.. William came along. Her work had always been a boring place, but William gave her a new spark. He showed her excitement and she wanted to keep that sensation. Vanessa felt like she finally had a purpose. And thus, her depression finally started to fade in the abyss. 

At work she got behind her laptop and almost immediately messaged William. She sent him a tiny love heart to calm him down. Furthermore, the girl was too busy to chat with her co-workers. Her boss doubled her amount of work due to her absence. She loved to chat a little with one of the other employees named Nora, but there wasn't any time. She's another girl who is very excited about the game and it's secrets. It was fun to theorize with her. So, Nora kept Vanny company instead, supporting her. 

Soon enough, it was time again to send William another message, telling him that she was alright but very busy with her work. The messages directed to William continued every hour, until Vanessa finally reached the end of her shift. 

With one final message, she let William know she'd be on her way. 

Vanessa wondered how things would develop from here with William. She wondered if this was a wise lesson for him. She hoped that William learned to trust her. If.. Will listened.. Vanny might want to reward him, show him how important it is to trust her in their relationship. Whatever their relationship truly was. They.. never talked about it. William never made it official. Vanessa had grown so used to his presence. He really needed to calm down with how possessive he was. 

Let’s face it, dating is hard.

We all want to fall in love. In our trying quest, we often put our rose-colored glasses on and overlook unfavorable personality traits like extreme selfishness, lack of consideration, and controlling behavior. 

Their last breath play accident left Vanessa a little careful. She will make sure it never happens again. The thought makes her a little sick. There's no obligation to try it again. Normal in the context of sexual relationships is a useless term. It leads to people judging their tastes and desires, or the tastes and desires of others, by some standard that doesn’t even match reality. And further, it doesn’t care about consent. Consent is the only thing that matters here. William made it clear last time that he was not a rapist. He does not like rape. It was an accident, so.. maybe Vanessa should treat it as such. She needed time. She needed time to think and come to terms with it. The only question that actually matters is “do I want to engage in intercourse with William again?” Then act in accordance with the answer to that question.

And yes, she wanted to. She wanted to try it again, but only under a few circumstances. 

"William? I'm home." 

She was finally home. Vanessa never aspired to a large home, preferring cozy and friendly. It is the perfect space for her needs and many of her wants. It is her “cottage” in the sky, furnished with everything rustic, the old being a stage for her new creations, new paintings daubed on perfect squares of canvass. A space is just space until you bring your own personality to it, make your mark, express what is sacred to you.

She was utterly exhausted upon her arrival. 

Her body needs to rest yet her mind needs it to move, to burn the anxiety right out. Without exercise her mind will keep her up all night long, but without rest her body will spiral into exhaustion. 

William was currently in the kitchen, already making her dinner. The gesture was so simple, but tooth rotting sweet for her. 

"Hey, bunny? Dinner is almost ready. You reek of sweat. You should change clothes." 

Despite William's hurtful comment, he suppressed a smile. Vanessa could tell from his blush that William really liked her and was more than happy that she was home again. 

"bunny? Did you just call me bunny? And.. what's that? Is William Afton.. blushing?" Vanessa's giggle softened the room, but only worsened William's reddened cheeks. How bashful. 

Vanny still left to change her clothes, but knew not to take his comment to heart. He was only hiding his embarrassment in his own twisted ways. A little mockery put him back in his place. Still William continued to cover up his phrasing, "your name is Vanessa. Wasn't it your intention to nickname yourself Vanny, because it resembles the word bunny?" As if that would correct his mistake. 

Vanessa walked up to him dressed in a fresh pair of clothing. She slowly embraced William and pulled him closer to her, wrapping her arms around him. She squeezed him a fraction tighter. "Sure, sure... because my name resembles bunny? Will, if you want to give me a pet name, I'd love it. It's really cute. I like it." 

"Have you behaved yourself while I was gone, William? Is there anything you would like to talk about..? Most importantly.. did you trust me?" 

Her voice was more serious. She can seem stern, but deeply she's a very kind person. She can be kind to William, at least. The man before her turned quiet, as if thinking deeply. It was similar to a person trying to solve a puzzle. He met her eyes, "I believed you. I trusted you. I stayed here, and you came back. You returned to me. Can you promise me that you always will? Don't break my trust, Vanny." 

"You did? Thank you. That means a whole lot to me." As Vanessa spoke of what she wanted to say, her hand carefully reached up to make William face her. "I would never betray you. Get that into your brain already. I'll always return to you, my William. No matter what happens, I will always find you." She had eyes so open and honest, a warmth and safety. In that moment William found his home, his place to be. Those eyes rimmed with thick, long, dark lashes that brushed her cheeks every time she closed her eyes, seemed to bore into him every time he looked into them and nearly lost himself. "I can't handle stress very well. So, when you came onto me, I broke. Thank you for doing what I asked of you. I just.. want to ask of one more favour. It's for a surprise after dinner. I'll explain after we ate." 

The two of them sat down for dinner. William revealed his creation to be risotto. Risotto is a northern Italian rice dish cooked with broth until it reaches a creamy consistency. The cheese had a bold flavour, not the almost-there flavour of childhood memories.The rich aroma of the food wafted down and beckoned Vanny. She could not resist. The perfect amount of ingredients to produce a taste unlike any other: salty, peppery, cheesy. Vanessa never thought of William as a cook. Now that she ponders over it, it makes sense. He probably had to cook a lot for his children back in the day. 

The best part of any given day is when Vanessa finally gets to eat. Why wouldn't it make sense that the highlight of her day, the part when she gets to unwind and replenish her energy? 

Will scooped quite the amount of food on both of their plates. After working the entire day, Vanessa was more than happy to eat. Knowing William spent effort into this. "It's good, Will! It tastes really great." She complimented the other, watching his lips tug upwards into a small smile. Together with their meal, William opened a bottle of wine, a mixture of soft, rich and beautiful. 

Their plates were soon to be empty. Vanessa didn't notice the rapid pace she was eating in until she found her food to be thoroughly gone. The food had been divided equally from the very start, so there was no more left. She didn't truly need more, though. Despite her gluttony, she felt stuffed. She waited for William to finish, before cleaning their dirty dishes, letting them rest in the sink. 

William was still enjoying his drink when Vanny walked up to him. Her hands rest on both of his shoulders, sliding down his chest and pausing near his stomach. "I said I wished to show you just how deep my appreciation and love for you runs. Do you remember that, William? The.. surprise I was speaking of before? To bring you to such heights of pleasure you cannot but bear to think of anything else beyond me.” The thought alone sent a spike of pleasure through him. Vanny was a sensual being. She liked to show her feminine energy by skillfully using her words to enchant and delight her partner. 

Her hands were now located on his hips. One hand now dangerously slipping from his hip to his inner thigh. "I just.. want you to trust me. Can you do that for me, William?" She moved away from the other almost immediately, leaving him aching with the lack of her touch. 

"Come on. Follow me?"


	10. Fantasies come to life

"Come on. Follow me?"

Vanessa didn't need to tell him twice. 

The door towards the bedroom creaked open. She made William sit down on the bed while her hands worked on his tie. He was watching her closely, the unblinking gaze of a predator, as she took his necktie. He was clearly suspicious. "What are you doing?" His voice was deep, almost a growl.

"Have some confidence in me and stay still," she ordered. Vanny didn't realize her voice could sound so... husky and seductive. The tie wound around his head and she tied it off.

She smiled and kissed him, tenderly at first. Then with increased pressure and varying placement. She rained kisses all over his face, then her lips began to travel to his neck. "Vanny..." His tone was one of warning. A smirk played across her lips as she broke the kiss to attack his neck, a line of dark lovebites bloomed across his skin in rapid succession. 

"Remember when I tied your hands.. last time? Well, I enjoyed that, and so did you. I improved the makeshift handcuffs we used last time. I bought some real ones online." 

Powerful men are not enacting their typical roles of domination, but tapping into a buried interest in submission that clashes with societal expectations.   
That's one of the many things that make it so exhilarating. It's an exercise in trust. It's incredibly intimate. "It's even more intense if you're blindfolded. You don't know what's going to happen until it happens. That ramps up all your sensations to eleven." She made him nervous. Her hands found their way to the buttons of his shirt, and began opening them. As skin was revealed, her lips followed, peppering kisses, licks and nibbles over the pale flesh. She kept a keen ear trained on his responses--a quiet moan let her know she was on the right track. 

"Okay.. Fine." 

He agreed. In the end, he'd be obedient. Vanny retrieved the handcuffs and slipped the cuffs around his wrists. Once she had checked they were comfortably secure, she pushed him down on the bed until his back hit the soft blankets. 

His hands were now firmly secured in order to prevent him from disturbing her fun. He obeyed eagerly, and Vanny could feel her own arousal worsen at the sight of him gloriously splayed out and needy. “Are those comfortable?”

He merely nodded. 

Men are sometimes a bit more impatient and suffer if they can’t jump right into the action. Vanessa used that information for teasing, no contact, being close, but not in reach, teaching him patience. "Hold on. We need a safeword. Is there anything completely out of context that you can think of? Something that draws attention. I'll stop immediately and acknowledge your discomfort when you say it."

"How about.. exotic butters? Don't question it."

She only chuckled slightly and accepted his odd suggestion. She touched him oh so lightly, letting her fingers glide over his skin. Very lightly, because it teases so much more. She glides her fingers along his thighs, watching goosebumps line his skin. 

She kissed and bit her way down his chest, pausing to nip at one of his nipples while she rolled her thumb along the other. The way his cock twitched against her hip accompanied by the loud moan spurred her to linger on his chest. She teased at his chest until his voice cracked.

"Vanny.. stop.." It's hard to be too upset about it, at this exact moment. It's hard to be too upset about much of anything when Vanessa's mouth is on him, sucking deep bruises into the pale skin of his chest, his hips, his thighs. He found her slow and gentle movements to be much more insufferable than William expected. She watched as William squirmed beneath the light ticklish touch, wanting more, but kept just out of his reach. With every inch that Vanny flitted over, she left an even lighter kiss at each spot, moving further and further up his body. Crawling up further, she reached his thighs, and she couldn’t help but place even more kisses on them, nipping them once or twice along the way. She raked her nails down his hip to his inner thigh. His body went taut as a bow, struggling against the restraints. 

"Patience, Will." Vanessa shushed him, clearly noticing how he tried to urge her in the direction of his erection. She shakes her head but her whole body is flush with the heat of it. Being able to do this to William Afton truly was.. a pleasure she never thought of having. William twitches bodily when Vanny breathes in the direction of his cock, achingly hard and criminally neglected. 

“My William, I’m glad to see you’re enjoying yourself so much already.” 

The weight of her on the bed shifted. William's chest heaved with anticipation as he heard her moving around. The faint sound of a closet opening and the vibrations from a mysterious object filled the air. "What's that?" He asked, suffering in the unknown. 

"I told you, William. Patience." Her legs were now straddling one of the thighs she had just teased and rubbed up against him. William's hips bucked at the sharp jolt of pleasure that seared through him. 

"Of course. I'm sorry, please carry on as you wish." 

Vanessa had retrieved a toy from her closet. A wand, to be precise. A Wand Massager in essence is a large, vibrating device that features a cushioned head on a flexible neck, which emits deep vibrations. They are often collectively called ‘Magic Wands’. The massager can be used without attachments for men. Vanny felt powerful. William enjoyed her chemistry with him, mostly. She wanted to fuck his brains out, and expressed and acted on this desire. 

Vanny started with lightly resting the device against his frenulum. This is the stretchy bit of skin that secures the foreskin to the glans penis. The sensitive nerves are still very much present under the skin. Many men are able to achieve ejaculation just by stimulating this area.

Vanny simply placed the head of her magic wand on the underside of the penis, and just let the vibrations do their thing. A soft whimper escaped William's lips, the stimulation delightfully overwhelming.

She started off gentle. A little lube on the underside of the penis allowed Vanny to glide the wand along the length of the shaft, allowing those vibrations to penetrate deeply all over. That's when she cranked up the vibrations as she decided William felt ready. 

He let out a cracked cry of delight, and he swore he was already on the verge of climax already.

She added something else to make William drown further into euphoria. Her hand found his neck, and gently applied pressure, a gentle press on the side of the esophagus. She kept a close eye on him for any form of discomfort. It is dangerous to hold this position for too long, but unlike him, she knew what she was doing. Her partner should still be able to speak, so Vanessa asked him a question. "Does that feel good, William? This is how you choke someone. I'm releasing toxins to your brain that increase the euphoric effect on climax." She might've mocked him, a small taunt of revenge for their first time. Choking highlights the giving and receiving of control. She wanted to make a statement. 

His face was flushed beneath the blindfold, though his ears had been hidden among the messy curls of his hair, it was obvious that they were as rosy as his face. “I- I-“ he tipped his face away from her, William's entire body arched, chains rattling, as he came. Pleasure clouded his mind, his chest heaved, and his face flushed in embarrassment. 

"Whoa, that was fast." 

Vanessa appreciated his accent, but under these circumstances she adored it just a bit more. 

Her mouth found the mess of come low on his stomach, her tongue lapped it up, while a few strands of her hair tickled along his cock. "You liked that, didn't you? Do you have a thing for being in a submissive position? You sure seemed like you enjoyed being serviced. Does the thought of a girl having complete control over you arouse you? Man, you are nasty. What? Want me to spank you ass, or something?" William whimpered in response to her teasing, when the head of the wand pressed right up against the perineum, just under his testicles. "All jokes aside.. I want you." She said, a lot more serious. 

Vanessa prepared him with a condom, before resting the tip of his cock against her. The sound that he made was somewhere between a moan, a groan, and a breathy sigh of relief as he felt the familiar stretch of Vanny absorbing him entirely. Nothing would ever be as fulfilling as the actual thick throbbing heat inside of her and Vanny took a moment to remind herself of the shape of it. Beneath her, she heard William give another grunt of pleasure for her to continue. Vanny gave a tentative bounce and preened when she heard the sharp hiss come from William, regaining her confidence in the situation. She wanted to remain silent, since Vanny was more interested in hearing the diversity of William's moans, so she shouldn't interfere with her.

"Could... I perhaps see you, Vanny?" 

William appeared to react the most when she moved her hips in a circular motion. "You.. You want to see me?" She whispered. Her hands ran up William's chest, draping over his shoulders as he leaned in close to nibble on his earlobe. "How... How are you feeling William?" Her hands slowly untied the blindfold covering his sight. She watched as William blinked, adjusting to the dimmed lights, and when he finally did, Vanny gasped when his eyes immediately turned black with lust.

If William thought he had lost control before, he had certainly lost it now and he didn’t mind one bit for every time Vanny came down on his cock, William thrusted up as well.

“You have no idea how good you look right now, or how good you feel." 

His sudden comment affected more than William was aware of. She kissed him gentle but passionate, pressing her lips into his. Vanessa's heart flutters. She heard him inhale sharply and ran a finger lightly down his chest. He allowed her to tease his nipples and he moaned, further adding to his immense euphoria. 

“You’re always so calm and composed, but here.. watching you yearn for me, ache for me,” Vanny grinded down as she said this, causing another moan from the other, “I can only imagine what people would think if they could see you now. Good thing this is for my eyes only, but judging by the marks on you, I’m sure everyone can connect the dots.” Her eyes narrow, lips pursed in a tight line that does little to conceal the amusement – no, the utter glee she feels at making William squirm. She looks down at William, her eyes brimming with satisfaction.

It wasn’t long before William came, hips stuttering, gasping with his second orgasm, his cock twitching wildly as he came in thick spurts onto his own chest. William's muscles slackened, and Vanny allowed the other a moment to catch his breath. Half dazed, William turned to look at Vanessa who was gazing down at him with adoration. 

Holding William as close as possible, Vanny too finally reached her limit as she rode out the intense orgasm.

Vanny released the handcuffs that held William's wrists captive into a submissive position. The two of them unlock with a small click. "I hope these.. weren't too tight?" The girl asked, the softest expression in her eyes. She brought his hands up to her lips to kiss over the small bruises both of the cuffs made around William's wrists. If they were to hurt him, she'd write herself down as hypocritical. She wanted this to especially not hurt William in order to teach him a lesson. Vanessa left William's side and sight. She let her breathe out slowly and rose to her feet. 

"I will be preparing a bath. Feel free to join me." 

The both of them needed and deserved some refreshment. Vanessa sits deep in silence. The faucet drips into the bathtub, each one reverberating around the room like a cymbal, yet no-one blinks or moves to stop it. She graciously slid her fingers down to measure the heat. The water moves softly around her outstretched fingers, carelessly, eddying in their wake. She pulls her hand out and watches the drips, both transparent and opaque at the same time. 

The bathtub was almost full and Vanny was just mixing some bath salts into the water, when William returned with two changes of clothes. He joins her in the bath, William slides down into the water, letting it block out the sounds around him. The two of them sat across from each other. They drank in the silence through every pore, soothed by it's meditative quality. Each time a worrying thought emerged it was mentally jotted down on a notepad, wrapped around a stone and thrown away into the abyss. 

When it comes to intimacy, the sweet, unrushed kind which sparks outside the bedroom - they still feel like coveted secrets of romance, and one Vanny willfully learns, peeling layer off layer as she discovers the depths to William. 

Vanessa was the one that made the first move. The girl carefully scooped closer to the other, simply enjoying the feel of each other’s bare skin without any pressure to take it further. Vanny pillowed against William's chest. She could feel her eyelids start to grow heavy, the lull of sleep coaxing her away from cognisance, as content settles in her being. "I wish I could hear your thoughts, sometimes - only at some points... like when you think I'm asleep. I would love to know what goes through your head when you think you're finally alone." She heard William mumble behind her. "Are you really going to fall asleep on me, Vanny?” William laughs, pleasantly in relaxed breaths. It’s everything, this right here - "That would effectively trap me here, you see." William spoke up again, followed closely by a kiss. 

"Why, because I.. a lady was in charge?" The girl chuckled, Oh how she loved this moment with him. Her body was lulling into a sense of security. "And why would you like to know my thoughts? It's usually filled to the brim with questions and ideas about you, Mr. Afton. Like.. how peaceful you look when finally your eyes close." Her voice was thoroughly soft and gentle, her eyelids falling shut. 

"I advise you not to give me any ideas, William." Vanessa was probably trying to say this in her usual annoyed tone. Since she was so relaxed, her voice was breathy and lacked it's usual bite. "I mean, I kept you stuck in the same place perfectly fine before on the bed, didn't I?" A mischievous, yet caring smile was plastered on her face, teasing the male into gaining a grin of his own. His two hands run up her sides and before Vanny could react, William rubbed a thumb firmly over her lower back in a massaging way, with his hands parallel to each other and sliding down each side of her spine, massaging all the way down to the lower back and over her buttocks, forcing her brain to release feel-good chemicals. William's touch causes an immediate reaction in her brain. As soon as her skin's nerve cells feel pressure, they signal the brain to release feel-good chemicals called endorphins, which boost her mood and give her a natural high. 

"Well, in my case.. I advise you not to push your luck." 

It's funny to her how William is so intelligent about the human body and electrical difficulties. He can build entire robots, yet he can't handle phones or computers. 

He's such a loser.

As Vanny lost herself to her thoughts, William retrieved a shampoo bottle. 

William left soft kisses across her shoulder blades as he worked the shampoo through Vanessa's hair. Vanny caressed William's legs, since it was the only part of his body that she could comfortably reach, which were placed on either side of her. William cupped water in his hands and let it cascade down Vanessa's head, making sure to get all of the shampoo remains out. 

The two of them left their bathtub behind to make time for bed. When the stars come out to play and the evening takes on that aroma of the night, when the crickets sing for the joy of living, their bed awaits. 

William loves the softness, the quiet, the sense of rest. His thoughts can finally slow. 

Vanessa was the one that pulled William along. She was more times than not the one to take the initiative. William felt uncomfortable and at a loss for words at the very beginning, until he felt Vanessa's body press up against his own. She doesn't view him as any less manly if he were to enjoy being the small spoon. It says a lot about trust, love and the stability of a relationship to reverse the typical roles and for both people to enjoy it. It's nice to be embraced. There's something about it that's just kind of pure and essential. Vanny wanted to show him how indescribably amazing it felt to be held by two warm and loving arms. 

The both of them wrapped in profound sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frick scene, oopsie. Thank anyone for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	11. A new day of work

Vanessa held William throughout the night, waking up captured in his arms. The morning broke through the curtains, sun shining bright, in comparison to the cold temperature of the bedroom. Vanessa found herself to be blissfully happy in the embrace of her self-proclaimed partner. "I'm sorry. I have to leave in a few hours.. but just look at you... I wish to stay as well." Every morning, when the first feeling Vanny feels is that sense of security when her partner wraps his arms around her can ensure that the rest of her day goes wonderfully. When she starts her day in the warm embrace of William, it also reminds her that she has a loving partner to come back to at the end of the day, which only further prepares her to face her day head-on. 

It's only work...

Her breakfast was quick, but nutritious. Vanessa spread the avocado over toast and sprinkled tomato on top as if it were cake decorations. 

The day was postcard perfect, even the buses were running on time. Downtown the skyscrapers shone silver in the morning sun and the sky was an unbroken backdrop of blue. On this fine day Vanny walks down the street under a sun that warms her skin. The clouds were as puffs of radiant joy, ready to disperse into the wind. Her face radiated more warmth than the soft sun above and her sneakers moved almost soundlessly over the greyed tarmac sidewalk. For once, Vanny felt an experience unknown to her. Things slowly but surely started to work out between her and William. He wasn't being difficult when she left, either. It was a fine day.. a day nothing could ruin. It appeared as if absolutely nothing could come in her way and be an obstacle. 

At work, Vanny was greeted by Luis with a bright smile. She sat next to her co-worker for a long while, retrieving her laptop from her backpack. She charged it thoroughly in order for it to work perfectly today. Luis' skin resembled that of smooth caramel, matching his ebony hair. His skin wasn't all that dark, not something anyone would comment on. It gave him a soft appearance. Exotic. Vanessa truly believes that since she spends so much time at work, she should make it enjoyable. The work environment affects her state of mind and really plays a big role in her psychological well-being, creativity and ultimately her productivity. And so, she started chatting about things that excite her. "Have you ever heard of William Afton, Luis? He's quite similar.. to Ted Bundy. Do you know Ted Bundy? You must know about him. He's rather famous. Ted Bundy was an intelligent lawyer who was also a notorious serial killer. Ted Bundy confessed to murdering 36 women though the exact number of his victims may in fact be even up to 100. He was executed in the electric chair in 1989. Ted Bundy was no doubt good looking, he was a psychology and a law student and he had political aspirations. He was very popular among his friends. No one who knew him could ever imagine he was a serial rapist and killer. Isn't it.. fascinating how people can keep up such an appearance while hiding a dark secret?" 

"....." 

Luis didn't answer, obviously shocked. He was aware that Vanessa held a certain.. obsession for dark subjects. It surprises him nonetheless to the depths these fascinations can go. "Interesting.. Ness? Aren't you afraid.. that people might judge you for.. talking about such things.. especially in public? It's a little concerning. I don't think it's healthy.." Luis tried to bring it carefully. 

"Sadly, tales of domestic violence zoom in and out of the news so frequently that they rarely capture the public’s attention, and when they do, they don’t hold it for long. Meanwhile, Gacy’s story, along with those of other serial killers like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and David Berkowitz, are remembered even decades later: They’re so well-known that we continue to hear casual references to them in pop culture. I'm not the only one, Luis. It's absolutely fascinating. I thought you wanted to get to know me?" Vanessa acted hurt, it was all a facade to make Luis tell her to continue her stories, which he obediently did. "You see, it's psychological. What draws people to their dark, disturbing stories? Why do some killers become celebrities while others are forgotten? It's about a puzzle. The labyrinth of human emotions and human motives. This desire to see into the mind of a serial killer can be a powerful attraction."

Vanny paused briefly. It seemed to really weigh on Luis. Surely, this was just an indirect way for Vanny to talk about William Afton. 

"No, I can understand. I can totally understand this could make you curious, but Ness.. why.. are you telling me all of this with such an expression of sympathy? You look so sorrowful." These are complicated, compelling questions. But here, at the outer boundaries of the human condition, are realities that resist our understanding. "All the people you just described... deserved their punishment. You know that, right? Why do you seem so hurt? These people don't deserve to walk our planet. They kill, Ness. That is simply the worst action." 

That moment Luis realized he'd misinterpreted Vanessa's actions, her words, her expressions for so many years. Words left him. Luis stared into those bright eyes now burning with anger, and his heart fell silent. It was still, utterly silent. 

There was absolute stillness.

Even his own breath seemed to die as soon as it left his mouth. It was an eerie sort of tranquility, so instead of being soothed his senses became heightened. Luis felt like the prey even though no predator could be detected. It was as if the world were encased in a cocoon, a bubble, and there was no way out.

A piercing sound popped his silent bubble. A sound pulsating in his mind, so loud it was ear-splitting. Sounds are 'vibrations' that travel through the air or another medium. It had a source. In a frustrating hurry the male looked around to find the culprit.. only to find his own computer. The screen was glitched out. Purple glitches and insufferable white noise show Luis that his trustworthy laptop had crashed. All of his years spent on work disappeared in an instant. 

"Oh god.. no!" Luis rebooted the machine, but his work had vanished completely.

The need for revenge was like a rat gnawing at her soul, relentless, unceasing, it could only be stopped by the cold steel of a rat trap, a trap she would devise herself. Her need for revenge was like an abscess on the skin of the soul that could only be cured by the cruel sharp steel point of revenge. Festering like a septic wound, and the only effective antibiotic is cold hard revenge. Savage. Spiteful. A dish best served cold. Unforgiving. She would bear a grudge until she died or took revenge, whichever came first. 

She would not allow Luis to speak of her beloved in such a way. He did not know a singular thing about William Afton. How could he jump to conclusions?!

She left her colleague to his own chaos. 

It seems the day is almost over and Vanessa can't wait to go home, so she can see her William again. Her heart now starts pounding and her feet are eager to walk. Every second counts for her, every ticking on the clock. Ting dong! Ting dong!

Finally, Vanny is walking. Rather quickly, walking turns to running. 

Perhaps a little while ago Vanessa would have balked at the idea of running so far and fast, now she relished the prospect. 

She was home once more. Her familiar surroundings caused her heart to beat faster. Home is the happiest place in the world because it has love. However, her love was nowhere in sight. She couldn't find William. In a hurried search, Vanessa fortunately found her beloved in bed. He was asleep. He looked peaceful. Wanting nothing more than to curl up into the curve of his body, but she turned around and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder. She would cuddle up with William at a later time. There was an email she still had to send. In order to leave sooner, Vanny chose to send this document when she got home. As her laptop turned on, a sound came from her bedroom before a door opened, revealing none other than William. He finally woke up. He instantly received all of Vanessa's attention. Her dedication to work drew her away. 

"You're awake! I've missed you. You seem a lot calmer, compared to when I left you all alone before." 

William hesitantly rubbed the dreams away, "you're back.. finally. I knew.. you would come back. I would find you, otherwise." He teased. It was only a joke, though his eyes spoke of an untold truth. "Oh William, I couldn't stand the thought of you weeping tears as I left you." Vanny was aware that his little act was partly fake. She replied to his statement with her own dramatic sarcasm. He always smiled with a fake smile of his. Days passed by as quick as light, he didn't know when it happened, or how it did. But his fake smile turned real.

"I want to hold you, Vanny." He didn't wait for an answer. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm as his arms squeezed a fraction tighter. It was.. just a little bit forced. On William's part, his drowsiness was a bit extravagant. However, William never seemed to mind faking something to get what he wanted. His words took Vanny by surprise the moment he asked- no, told her to accept his embrace. 

He was never very physically affectionate. 

"You look exhausted, Darling. Have you slept at all? Perhaps we should start dinner and go to bed early?" In a moment Vanny pressed her lips against his, felt his body loosen. "Did you have a rough day? We could lay down for a little bit right now?" She felt an urge to do something, to comfort him. They hovered right there, quite soundless for so long, simply feeling each other's presence.

"I'm afraid that if we were to lay down and rest, I wouldn't leave the bed for dinner anymore." The man answered with a chuckle, "it wasn't a bad day, per se." 

"In that case, I will warm up some leftovers. You can go to bed, if you want. I'll bring it to you." The two of them transform the bed into a pseudo dining table and get snuggly in bed earlier than ever before. Getting into bed earlier means getting to sleep earlier. With a luxurious memory foam mattress, warm, cosy blankets and big fluffy pillows to boot, nowhere could be more comfortable than their bed.

Vanessa reunited with William in about twenty minutes with dinner plates. "Et voilà!" The girl announced, joining William underneath the blankets and handing the other his plate. Their dinner was a success, and a moment both decided it was time to sleep. When the twilight fades to blackness, the night has rolled in. Her calming presence makes William slowly close his eyes, his body quietly switching off. The sleep pooled on their eyelids, those defenceless hours, oblivious to their surroundings. Buried in a deep sleep. 

Well, one of them was. 

Eleven o'clock morphs into twelve and then one. The time trickles by, marked only by those changing glowing numerals. William's mind is blank; where there should be dreams is a heavy blackness. His eyes are as stationary as the silhouette of his bedside lamp, which is where they rest. You cannot imagine the craving for rest that he feels. His mind has been a whirlpool, swift, unprogressive and incessant, a torrent of thoughts leading nowhere, spinning round swift and steady. 

William sighs wearily. Unable to sleep, he sits upright on his bed, his legs outstretched. 

And though William remains willfully blind, he suspects it's closer to the dawn than he would like. When the daylight shines on his shut curtains, as light ebbs into the room his heart sinks- another night claimed by the inability to sleep. 

It wasn't negative through and through. 

Vanny was still deeply engrossed in her asleep when William left the bed. 

The egg yolk sun poured through the cracks in the blind and awaited entrance into Vanessa's eyes. Give her a moment to shed the sleep from her brain, to allow the visions of the night to give way to the day, to move from that which she creates on a whim to things more fixed and real. Upon waking, Vanessa burrowed herself into the warm, soft sheets. 

To her surprise, the bed was more cold than she remembered. Perhaps it had something to do with William's absence. 

Upon entering the living room, Vanessa found William sleeping on her couch instead. It genuinely surprised her. It was odd, unusual. And so, she approached him. "William? What are you doing? Hey, Will?" She shook him gently, but unfortunately William never gave her a response. Another striking difference was her laptop fully functioning on her table. She vaguely remembered putting it away last night. It was still turned to stand by. 

Before long Vanessa gathered all of her needed equipment for work and left.


	12. Honesty is key

The houses outside were all lit up, everyone home or pretending to be. Her feet moved over the sidewalk cracks, her body casual, her ears taking in every sound. It was the same routine every day. It became ordinary. 

Vanessa could already see her destination in the distance. The windows of the skyscraper stared down at her like a many-eyed monster. The skyscrapers towered above her as great monoliths of concrete and glass.

Dread owns her, pushing against Vanessa like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse her steps back to her bed. 

The office was the same as always. Painted grey, and it had only one floor-to-ceiling window, which faced the main road. On her grey desk sat a notebook, lying open and a stack of papers sitting under a turtle-shaped paperweight. In a corner, the air conditioner was blasting at medium, and there was a swivel chair behind her desk. A bookshelf, bursting with books was in a corner, with yet another stack of papers under a paperweight that was shaped to look like a tuft of grass. A few pens were lying on the papers, but some had fallen onto the top of the bookshelf. 

A few coworkers greet her upon her arrival, one of them being Luis. He gave her a kind smile. 

Every single person was stuck to their laptop in a hypnotizing gaze. 

Her laptop lay before her ready to be used for work. It was sleek and shiny, thinner than an average school textbook but containing the knowledge of a whole world, all at the click of a mouse and the touch of a button. It made her nauseous. She didn't want to start work, for she knew today would be as boring as the last. Her laptop had certainly seem better days. She needed a new one, surely. The keyboard no doubt had once been the latest in technology, now it's keys were hopelessly clunky. The only thing that could make them look good would be an old fashioned typewriter. 

Of course, boring is not a word any of us want to use when we describe our work. But, let’s face it; being bored happens sometimes. In Vanessa's case, more than just sometimes. Boredom comes packaged neatly with an innate element of selfishness. Boredom is that invitation for the brain to play, to let the self soak into a moment and see the richness in the minute subtlety life offers. So Vanessa let it in, allowing her thoughts to float. 

As hours passed, her laptop suddenly shut off. Or actually, it wasn't turned off. It was simply in a sleeping state. 

Sleep is a power-saving mode that stores all of her open files, software, and other data in the computer's main memory, or RAM. The RAM continues to stay “awake” and draw power from the battery or outlet, while the rest of the computer shuts down. However, once Vanessa turned her computer back on, this wasn't the case. Her work was still saved, and nothing had gone missing. However, a big chunk of her battery was missing. It sunk below the amount of energy her laptop needed to stay in a working shape. In a hurry, Vanessa retrieved her charger. 

That was surely extraordinary. That simply wasn't normal. 

The next couple of hours, nothing happened. Until she was halfway through her shift. The agony started all over again. Her laptop shut down in a new sleeping mode, only to wait for Vanessa to turn it on again. 

She saw something that time when her screen brightened up again. Something flashed beneath the surface. 

A damn rabbit... 

She clearly recognized it. It appeared to be.. a tiny Malhare. She knew him. More likely, it was him. "William?!" She whispered, but more agitated. She was a bit more annoyed, as well. This troubled her. It must be him. Was it a lie when William told her he trusted her?! She noticed how the little William tried to find a place to hide. Fortunately for him, William found the multiple apps on her laptop to be an excellent option. "I know you are in there! You shouldn't be here." The asshole sneaked along with her to work without even a glimpse of her consent. 

She stared intensively at him until William finally revealed himself once more. "Did you lie?!" Vanny gained some curious glances. Now that she thought about it.. her laptop did seem to flash purple every time it shut down before. The constant switch to sleeping mode was really his doing?

William seemed to understand almost immediately what Vanessa was referencing to. Thus, he shook his head slowly. A definite "no". 

Absence makes the heart grow…anxious.

Vanessa only knew that William seemed overly clingy. But some of his very specific behaviors, and some googling on Vanessa's part, lead her to believe he has adult separation anxiety disorder, a condition in which an adult fixates on a loved one and becomes extremely anxious when that person is not around. When Vanessa is to leave, he becomes miserable. He describes her time away from him as a "disaster" or a "catastrophe." He is totally serious, not exaggerating; it truly feels like a disaster to him. Whenever she tells him that she may not be available on a certain day, he becomes extremely depressed and even aggressive. He will sort of "flood" her with negative statements. This wears her down and makes her upset. 

Instead of talking, Vanny opened her notes in order to write to William. She gained a lot of attention for talking out loud to a screen. "get out of my computer right away. You are hindering my work. Go home or something and wait there for once. Stalking is kind of a douchebag move, you know? I want to add that you shouldn't think this is easily forgotten. I'll decide how to deal with it back at home. I will be very mad if you lied." Dating someone with anxiety issues or an anxiety disorder can be horribly stressful. Sometimes it feels like the anxiety is a third person in their relationship, someone who wriggles in between Vanessa and her partner. This person constantly sows doubt and confusion. 

His mind takes over and goes directly to the worst-case-scenario. Vanessa wanted William to just get over it, she was aware. She wants him to just not worry about it. 

Apparently, Vanessa's idea of writing her words out caused William to do the same. "I understand. I shouldn't have come along, but I couldn't stay away when I saw this opportunity. It's not that.. I lied to you, or that I still don't trust you." He's always been a very controlling person in their relationship, but he seemed to continuously find new heights in his pressing obsession. "I was exhausted. I needed to rest. That's the reason behind closing your laptop multiple times." 

Instead of allowing the anxiety to rile her up, Vanessa takes a moment to calm down. Remind herself that the anxiety most likely isn’t about her. She's not the source of it. It’s about her partner. 

Nonetheless, there should be limits to this. 

After another sparkling purple glitch in the system of her computer, William (who appeared as nothing more than a miniature bunny) disappeared. Not a second later, Luis' computer crashed into a sleeping state. This caused quite the reaction, of course; the boy panicked. Though Vanessa was thankful for her problems getting solved, this wasn't the right way. This wouldn't work. 

Vanessa shouldn't always be the one who bends. If she wields to her partner's anxiety, she will become resentful and bitter, not towards the anxiety but towards her partner. 

We all know that feeling love and emotional harmony with your partner is wonderful; but anger is a natural part of life and is therefore inevitable, especially when two people share life closely. 

Quite simply, anger begets anger. And, quite simply, this isn’t dramatic. 

Vanessa shouldn't skip over her initial anger. Otherwise, it will continue to smolder and have a damaging effect on her communication with her partner.

She needs to think of a way to put an end to his nonsense. 

Today, Vanessa had reached the point where she does not want to go out, see or talk to anyone anymore because her day is filled with simply too much. She reached that point in her day where if she had to deal with one more problem, she would shout or cry. The girl left early. The moment she brought it up, William transferred back to her phone instead of her computer. You see, her laptop would be shut down. William disliked being left in the void until Vanessa was to turn her laptop on again once she got home. 

The two of them were soon on their travel home. William was secured in her phone, which Vanessa ignored fully. The sidewalks were smooth grey stones, joined with such precision that the joins were almost invisible. The streets held Vanessa's attention as if she couldn't hear the voice coming from her phone. "Vanessa? Don't get angry at me. Calm down. Why do you get so furious at me for wanting to stay by your side. It's been difficult. I've been in solitude for years. You can't truly blame me for seeking company." What do all humans have in common? We have all played the victim before. But, playing the victim is like eating bad food- it will only make you feel worse in the long run. William was a man who never seeks fault in himself. He was never guilty. He never takes responsibility. This is a classic sign of victim behavior. A victim has trouble accepting they contributed to a problem and accepting responsibility for the circumstance that they are in. Instead, they point the finger, or simply ignore their role in perpetuating the problem.

"....." 

Of course she wasn't giving him an answer. Sadly, that would never cut it for William Afton. 

"Hey, you can ignore me all you want, but I am a part of your life now. You can't get rid of me. If you think about it, wouldn't your world as you know it collapse if I left right here and right now?" 

Vanessa was stomping down the busy streets. As William started talking to her, she raised the phone to her ear in order to appear normal to common bystanders. "I understand your craving for company. I can't blame your solitude, but this isn't a solution. It's.. It's controlling. It's manipulative! You're always playing the victim, trying.. trying to make me feel sorry for you! I can and will blame you for never discussing anything with me. For now, shut your damn mouth. I love you, but sometimes I can blow your damn brains out." Along with a scoff, her phone was shut off to finally make William stop talking. It was a way for Vanessa to silence him. And so, William was thrown into a void. It was a strong black, deeply soulful in the way all absolute things are. It was the sort of black that brought the silent music of the universe so deeply within one's core.

It was unknowingly terrifying. 

Time seemed unending. Only when Vanessa decided to turn on his world again, he saw light. 

"Get out. We are home." 

It was her voice. William recognized it quite well. 

She sounded.. absolutely angered. 

William wakes suddenly, every thought in high definition. His eyes take in every ray of light and without a doubt William knows he's slept too long. The noises are of a day in full swing. Though his eyes are open, he can't think of why; his heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into his carotid. All that William was aware of, was that he had returned to his own body.

"Explain." 

The familiar voice of a female came from right next to him. Vanessa... 

"You are being a bit over dramatic." His mouth is almost too dry to speak. He never came across a situation.. as peculiar as this one.

Vanessa moved up and close to the other, providing him with that uneasy feeling one gets when someone moves too close. The brain computes a buffer zone around the body.” We have this “second skin” hardwired into our DNA. 

"You don't trust me, at all. I've already said what I wanted to say, the same goes for you. We can't live like this." Vanessa was a cruel woman. It wasn't a bad thing. William needed a nudge in the right direction sometimes. A strong and powerful mind can protect itself against his manipulation. However, everyone has their own limit. "You are the dramatic one. I can't leave you alone for even one second. I don't know whether you make my heart flutter or throb. It all blends together."

"I know. You are repeating yourself. You spoke about my identity to a coworker, isn't that right? I'm not saying that I don't trust you.. but that really is not a smart move." 

"William, you are just trying to save your own consciousness." It's completely normal — and healthy — for couples to argue. William and Vanessa, however, were getting out of hand. In a fight, when one partner is overwhelmed, they may not be able to process their thoughts. "Wait. How.. How do you even know about that?! That happened yesterday! DID YOU- NO! YOU.. You.. You also followed me yesterday? WHY DON'T YOU TALK WITH ME?! WE COULD'VE ARRANGED SOMETHING! If you keep switching.. what if- you could.." 

It was the only way to communicate with William. It tore her heart down. Her eyes glimmered with watery tears and she felt as if the whole world was about to crumble. 

"Vanessa.. I'm sorry." She sobbed and tears flooded like the waters rushing down from a waterfall and the only time she'd stop was to fill her lungs with fresh air. 

"I'm sorry for causing you such hurt. It was never my intention." He wasn't very good at an apology. It was the result of never actually apologizing for his actions. He stumbled. William wanted to reach out for her, but Vanessa felt so out of his reach. It’s natural for them to fight about something. It happened quite often. But when the fight gets serious and she’s suddenly crying because of something he did or said, it’s time to take two steps back and think where he did wrong and how to fix it. "Can I.. Should I get a tissue..?" 

"You're a fucking moron. Yes I need a tissue!" 

Truth said, it's one of the worst feelings in the world. When it's his fault and Vanessa cries because he is the reason behind her tears, whether it's good or bad, it feels like drowning. Vanessa half-heartedly took the handkerchief from William to wipe her eyes. "You are so difficult to read, William. Just use your words, please." She can't stand crying. Especially in front of others. She can feel the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and she looks toward the window, as if the light could soothe her. She couldn't face William during this time of need. 

"What.. What am I to you? What are we? I'm just- I'm so confused. I've.. never seen you look at me.. in the way I want you to. I'm dragging it out, but William.. Do you love me? Do you love me even for a little bit, or am I just another puppet to you?" 

William's brain stutters. That's how he feels now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the words bounce around inside his skull. "Oh, I do respect you." That was absolutely stupid. He just couldn't find the words. Simply put, If he doesn’t make it really clear what he wants, he cannot be rejected as deeply. Ambiguity feels protective. 

Uncertainty makes people feel vulnerable. 

"I uh.. well, I mean- yeah? I care about you." Another failure. This is classic, William. To be fair, he's pining after the first possible girl that rescued him from virtual torment. It is a bit sad, isn't it? He almost smiles. It was awkward. A real awkward smile, somehow. "I do. I do. I love you, Vanessa." He mentally silenced himself from adding a doubtful sentence to his statement. He wanted to be clear. For her. He needed to be. Their roles switched, for Vanessa now looked at William as William immediately averted his gaze from her. Her eyes and her mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although she was staring straight at William, she appeared not to notice him at all. 

He had nothing to protect him but honesty. 

He wasn't entirely sure yet, but it had to be love. There wasn't another singular explanation for the diversity of emotions he often experienced thanks to Vanessa. 

She smiled, eyebrows raised and extended a manicured hand. "Fucking hell, finally. You are.. SO dumb, you know that? Thank you. I will forgive you. Just give me a bit of time.. and fulfill all of my wishes. Call me 'bunny' again. Just... do everything I say. Thanks." Vanessa lightly hit his stomach. It was never her intention to hurt. She simply felt frustrated. "Take a damn shower and a nap. You look awful. Now, shoo." 

"...Bunny?" 

William seemed absolutely clueless. Vanessa says that she needs some space, so William let her be, understands where she is coming from. In his bones, William understood how to navigate through his hesitancy and discomfort and be present with her pain. He knew better than to embrace her. It would feel smothering to her, suffocating. She would come to him at her own pace. 

He listened. He knew by now that she was more aware of how to handle the current situation. He left her alone to process. 

Vanessa held a peaceful dinner with just herself. Her dinner consisted of broccoli rice together with a thick, creamy sauce. William stated that he wouldn't participate. He wasn't hungry and just wanted to sleep. She kept herself busy by watching television, however something was missing. Or perhaps someone. 

And so, she visited William. When he was asleep he lay as still as a brick. The only movement was the slight rise and fall of his chest. In sleep he was angelic, his face as fresh as a dew drop, making gentle snuffling noises as he breathed. Serenity was plastered across his face as he slept. At peace, his consciousness swirled in the land of dreams, oblivious to the physical world.

She felt the need to be intimate. She never meant to be sexual. Cuddling is an awesome way to de-stress and create intimacy. But there’s more to cuddling than simply wrapping your arms around someone and holding tight. Cuddling is a love language all its own. 

Hugging, snuggling, massage, and kissing all fall under the cuddling umbrella. There’s no right or wrong way to cuddle. 

He always seemed so vulnerable as he slept. 

Vanessa allowed her body to fall upon his. It wasn't too gentle. It was on purpose, for Vanny wanted William to wake up. She felt needy to feel the other's embrace. "Wake up." The girl growled, placing tiny kisses around his face, jawline and neck in a pampering and teasing manner. She tried to earn his attention. "Cuddles. Now." The girl demanded and William's eyes lazily rolled open, glazed over with the remnants of a dream. He yawned as his eyes became heavier and heavier, letting his heavy lidded eyes fall shut for the remainder of the time.

"No. I'm tired." He was sleep deprived, his brain on five percent battery, possibly less. He feels like every muscle is giving into gravity. His eyes are glazed in a way Vanessa has seen with the drug addicts in the ER. "I need to sleep. Leave me alone." He was a bit harsh, but only because he was thoroughly exhausted. The whole world simply felt low resolution, a bad quality movie.

"Make me leave, darling. Oh, wait! You're too exhausted to even move, aren't you..? Guess.. I'll just have to cuddle to my heart's content." Vanessa's hand moves around his middle, warm and soft. In seconds her body is moulded to his own, turning a normally selfish act into an affectionate exchange. "I have to leave early tomorrow once again. Please, listen to me and stay here. I believe in you." Vanessa rubbed circles over the other's back in a way to comfort him. It’s not the physical rubbing that feels good, it’s the warmth and connection passing between two people. 

The warmth of being with another human being, their breaths in unison and being happy made William want forgiveness even more. He promised to grant her a form of freedom. 

"Come on..why the long face?" 

Of course she'd notice.. 

"Vanny, can we... not talk about this? Not right now, at least. I don't have the clearest mind at the moment. Is there.. truly not a way for you to stay here..?" 

Vanessa was almost falling asleep as well. The atmosphere the two of them created was so blissfully peaceful. "Actually.. What do you mean by that? You mind is not clear?" The girl asked carefully, knowing she'd have his permission either way to ask for further details about him. Whether he would answer was a different story. "I'm not sure if my boss would like it if I were to work from home. Luis calling me is a big possibility, but I can try? It's a one time offer. Don't think this will be a permanent occurrence. Promise me not to interfere too much, okay? I don't want you to be seen. This company knows about you, possibly not by looks, but they do know about your identity. They work with your creations. I want to be careful with you." The girl sent an email to her boss to ask her for permission to stay home. The device was put down on their nightstand to prevent it from further disturbance. 

With a strong push, Vanessa changed their position. Despite his numerous complaints, she was convinced William enjoyed being the little spoon. The position demonstrates a dynamic in which one partner takes a protective stance over the other. It is a vulnerable position that says ‘I trust you’. And so, Vanessa entangled their legs and let William rest his head on top of her. With a bit of shifting, the two of them were in a comfortable cocoon with a much better reach to run her fingers through his hair. 

"I won't be a bother. I'll need tomorrow to recharge. Ehm, sleeping for me works.. similarly to how batteries work. There's a certain amount of energy reserved for me to be active. I need to enter.. a sleeping mode in order to let this refill. It's based on the sleeping patterns of a human. I can willingly go past this.. barrier of energy even when it's.. supposedly empty. I can still function, but that means I will have to recharge for a longer period of time. Does that make sense?" 

It certainly took a while for him to answer, due to him almost falling asleep already in her embrace. 

"Oh, that's interesting. Is there a way for you to tell me what.. like, percent you are? How tired you are, or how much energy you have left?" Vanessa tried her hardest to understand the other. It was a little confusing, sure. 

"I think I could. At the moment it's a bit more difficult.. I went below the normal human physics." 

As time went on and their need for sleep worsened, Vanessa tugged the blankets up higher and told William to sleep.


	13. String of disappointment

Vanessa awakens to the steady patter of rain upon her window, droplets yet to scatter the nascent rays of rising sun. The sound brings a calmness to mind, a soothing melody, a natural lullaby. The girl noticed she had five more minutes until her alarm was meant to go off. Her first concern was her phone. 

Fortunately, her request was accepted. Her boss allowed her to stay home, not without a list of tasks nonetheless. And as Vanessa predicted, Luis would call her to check in on her. 

She managed to free herself of William's grasp to start her day. 

Her outfit consisted of nothing more than a baggy shirt and her underwear. It wasn't fashionable, in the least. It was her pajamas. Luis wouldn't see below her upper body anyway, so it doesn't concern him whether she wears pants or not. Along with a quick breakfast, Vanessa was ready to return Luis' call. 

"Good morning! You're staying home? What is the reason, if I may ask?" 

As polite and sickening as ever. 

"Good morning, Luis. My stomach was upset. I don't feel too well." A small white lie to save her consciousness. 

Hours pass and seem to blend together behind her laptop. Her eyes strain from sitting too close to her screen. Her eyesight wasn't the best, thus she wore glasses for most things like reading or writing. Her hands fly rapidly over the keyboard, practiced with perfection. "Yeah, Luis? One of your assets isn't working." She was working together using a video call. 

During her work, Vanessa heard a form of mumbles and rumbling coming from her bedroom. Either William was now awake, or couldn't find her and started to panic. This time she left a message on a little note for him in a more obvious place. She stuck it to her door on perfect eye level. It read; "busy with work. I was allowed to stay home, but please be quiet. There is breakfast in the fridge." 

It was already afternoon. William slept for quite a while, just like he assumed. His energy was now fully replenished. 

Today the sunshine is tough. its heat radiating outwards into the bright day. Vanessa's lack of clothes made this fact less of a difficulty to deal with. However, it did cause another problem in the near future. William entered the room in a half-awake state of mind, but the first thing his brain got to process was Vanny practically undressed right in front of Luis. 

Now that wasn't a pretty sight. 

Meanwhile, Vanessa barely noticed William coming inside the room. She had tunnel vision. Her mind was always engulfed in her work once she began. 

Healthy intimate relationships are one of the biggest joys in life, bringing companionship, laughter and passion into both partners’ lives. When your relationship is based on trust, it serves as a lifeboat, anchor and sail that keeps you afloat, secure and filled with purpose. When jealousy corrodes the trust and respect in your partnership, the relationship becomes a weight that hinders personal progress.

Their partnership will suffer if William let jealousy go unchecked. He was fully aware, however a nasty voice whispered in his ear of troubles and unfaithfulness. Instead of shutting down the jealous behavior outright, William seeks to understand the behavior first. What problem is the jealousy attempting to solve? 

Luis. 

She laughs with Luis, enlightened by his jokes. Yet truly, it wasn't in her face. It wasn't real. It wasn't the same as when she laughed with William. If she were to laugh with him, the smile was in her eyes, in the way her face changed into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. It was the fact that she laughed with him that changed the situation differently from Luis. Just the sound of William's gales, his snickers, his giggles, was enough to transport her far far away from her worries and the tension of modern life... The idea that she made him laugh. 

To Vanny, Luis meant nothing. 

And William knew this. He knew it all too well. And yet, Luis' smiles and contagious flirtation infuriated William. 

Vanessa stretched her aching muscles for a bit and let out a yawn. Leaned far enough in her chair, her eye caught something. He’s fallen back down to her knees between the insides of her thighs in the middle of her call. 

It was William. 

"What are you doing there..?" She held a suspicion. Deep in her gut, she was aware of the horror in his intentions. Instead, Luis answered her question with confusion, but obviously her query was never directed towards him. "Oh, not you. I'm babysitting my neighbors dog, that's all." Her voice already sounds faint. Her heartbeat is pulsing in her ears and her blood is running hot under her skin.

William's grin from between her legs is her undoing, her hips bucking. Vanessa should have known. Another thing she should have known — he was so charming, his cockiness should be expected. 

A kiss brushes over her left knee, William's hand he left braced on her thigh, is experimental. There was nothing quite like the sweet anticipation of what was to come, as William's fingers trailed up her legs, baring her to him. 

The words on her computer swim; her heart is thumping in her chest and her palms are prickling. 

William's fingers chase up the back of her calves to her knees, and she sucks in a breath and squirms a little. He kisses her knee again, first one and then the other, and she sinks back in her seat. Vanessa longs to squeeze her thighs together; to feel pressure and friction where she wants it most. She breathes out a quiet sigh, trying to steady her breath, and moves closer to her screen in an attempt to focus. 

William's palm slides her underwear down to below her knee, his fingers chasing back up her thigh. Vanessa's head tips back as William's breathes hotly against her other leg. 

"Are you alright?" Vanessa heard Luis ask. Panic and excitement warred inside her. She didn't want to get caught, but there was not much she could do at this point. William didn't stop his ministrations. She was torn between wanting him to stop and being grateful that he kept going. 

"Fine, fine," she assured dismissively. "I'm just busy."

She felt William's chuckle against her flesh, making her shiver slightly. She nudged his shoulder with her knee in retribution. Her fists clenched tightly on the desk, as she held on for the remnants of her control. 

His thumb suddenly pressed to her swollen clit, and she gasps, the sound becoming a moan, her eyelids fluttering. His tongue was tracing tight circles over her bundle of nerves. For his part William grabbed her ass with both hands, tilting her hips for a better angle.

His mouth moves over her, sucking and licking at her with eager intent. Her knees bump against the desk; she reaches for him but he is beneath the desk and far away enough that there is no chance of winding her fingers into his hair. 

His hands slide beneath her knees to settle them upon his shoulders, the desk rattling as she squirms and arches herself towards him. He was doing this on purpose, showing her who she belongs to. "Continue, Luis. The dog scared me." Luis easily bought her lie. He wouldn't ever mistake her truth. 

"Hm," William says against her skin in a mocking disapproval, moving his mouth to kiss against her thigh, and Vanessa gives a soft grunt of disappointment and dismay. He bites gently, and if she could get her hands into his hair she'd put him firmly back where she wants him, but there is no part of him she can reach.

She closed her laptop, effectively ending her call with Luis. This situation wasn't looking too good for her. 

She stops at the soft touch of his tongue between her legs, her heart leaping with anticipation, her body coiled tight again. He leans forward, pressing his open mouth, lips and tongue to her, kissing her firm, hot and wet — Vanessa's knees bump against the desk, her heels push against the middle of William's back and she arches helplessly, keeping her voice under control, her body shivering and trembling under the intensity of his touch, her breath burning in her lungs, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

She sinks back against the chair, trying to steady her breath. Heat rolls through her body, lazy and satisfied, and her legs slowly ease their tension, sitting loose and easy on William's shoulders. 

"Just you wait," she says, an undercurrent of threat drawing through every word, "until I get my hands on you."

William's laughter hums over her skin. 

Vanessa caught William in his act of leaving his previous position underneath her desk. She held onto his sleeve, keeping him close until she was done talking. "Thank you? I guess? I need to work now, okay? Get it? Go back to the bedroom and get some rest. Leave me be." That was a bit rude, however William never listens. Vanessa hastily fixes herself and her outfit, looking presentable again. "The deadlines are due. I need my time for this."

It reminds her of deadlines both near and distant, demanding that she slices the time between now and then ever thinner to apportion hours and minutes to each mind-numbing task. Surprisingly, William gave her a nod. He was taking his leave and everything was going swimmingly, until.. 

"Doesn't mortality scare you, Vanny?"

The atmosphere dropped almost instantly. 

It wasn't unusual for William Afton to make an absolutely ridiculous comment like that. It still shocked her. It was.. disturbing. She had a feeling that she was about to experience a lot of change in her life. Vanessa felt nervous as hell. Her stomach feels churned-up, and she's unsure whether she should feel excited, anxious, or just calm the fuck down. The latter is probably the best option for her right now.

"Uhm... William? What's this all of a sudden? Why are you asking me that?" Her heart beat in her chest, pounding, banging, trying to get out. William's personality could split within a second at times. 

"What I mean, Vanny, is how one day you will die. You will have your last meal, send your last email, see the sun for the last time, drink your last cup of coffee.. And then it all just stops. You.. have no idea where you will go. You have no idea how painful it is." William added to his speech, striking fear in Vanessa's heart. It is definitely scary, but she simply never truly thinks about it a lot. The more you think about it, the more it will scare you. The fear of death is so common that it has spurred multiple research projects and intrigued everyone from scholars to religious leaders. 

It was his eyes that captivated Vanessa most of all. Something flashed beneath the surface of his hardened expression and Vanessa hurried to investigate the sudden shift. It was too late, the emotion disappeared before she could identify it, like reaching desperately for an escaped balloon; the string dangling so tantalizingly close but the wind pushed it away and it's lost forever. "Doesn't that frighten you?"

Many people fear that when they meet death, they will experience excruciating pain and suffering. Death remains the ultimate unknown because no one in human history has survived it to tell us what really happens after we take our last breath. It is human nature to want to understand and make sense of the world around us. The reality is that death can never be fully understood by anyone who is living. Many people fear the idea that they will completely cease to exist after death occurs. Human nature generally seeks to control the situations we encounter, but death remains something over which we have absolutely no control. 

Perhaps, that is what brought William to start such a conversation. 

His own fears. 

"William, are you seriously asking a mortal how it feels to fear death when you are immortal?" New lovers carefully watch their word choices even when they argue. They don't want to say anything that could deeply wound or distance their partners, and watch each other closely for signs of distress. They treasure their closeness and cannot bear being at odds for long. However, William never held back. He didn't hold back ever since the very start. "I'm afraid nobody would remember me. I feel like nobody would miss me. I'm just another girl who died at such a young age. A shame. My life doesn't have any meaning. I've always done the wrong thing. Did I.. live a useless life, William?" 

William fell silent. It was a moment for him to think. Silence is the hardest technique to learn. It’s against our instincts. We want to fill in the blanks. The subtle power of uncomfortable silences. "I don't want you to die." Something in his voice told Vanessa that was all he planned to add to their conversation about her. 

The grand speech came to an end and now the silence captured her like a prison. His face was one of awkwardness, not even hurrying to save her feelings, to fill the void. How did their intimate moment turn into this?

"Vanny, I am trying to tell you that the time has come for your first murder."

There is a tenseness to Vanessa, letting the feelings of fear and sadness ebb and flow. He knew her weak spots and deepest pains - she was an easy target. He watched her face change to hurt and anger. "What?! Already..? I don't think that I am ready, William. What if I can't do it? Would you get rid of me? What if I fail and can't cover up my evidence?" 

She faced the true nature of William Afton, one she tried to ignore. She had always been fascinated by such subjects, however experiencing it herself was something entirely different. 

"I want to see how devoted you are." His mouth stretches into something that could never pass as a smile and he lets out a huffy sigh. Vanessa nods, eyes still taking in the chaos. "My very existence depends solely on you, Vanny. In order to survive, I need remnant. Do you know what that is? You can think of it as the fuel I use to keep my so-called battery running. It's you who needs to retrieve it. Remnant appears to be more easily collected and extracted from children. Remnant is partly a soul fused with some form of energy." 

"Pick a victim. Choose your target." 

Sometimes, the emotional manipulation is complex enough that the person who is being controlled actually believes that they themselves are the villain. In fact, some controlling partners are acting out of a sense of emotional fragility and heightened vulnerability. "No! You're- I won't let you do this! You're being too forceful. I need time to think." Vanessa knew more about William's behavior and coping. Some take control in a very subtle way, gaining a few inches here and there over time through the power of persuasive suggestion. Others are so good they make you think that you’re the messed up one and that they’re fixing or supporting you.

Not not this time. 

Vanessa wouldn't allow it. 

According to her plan, Vanessa pressed the tiny imprint on the back of his neck. It was a technique she used before in a threatening situation. It shuts his entire system down, his lifeless body falling against her and his limbs dangling at his sides. She wouldn't forget the way his smile fell faster than cement upon her words of denial. 

While things started sweet initially, it turned Vanessa's lover into an overprotective and dominating person. So much so that she finds it difficult to breathe. There is a thin line between a man taking the lead and one being controlling in a relationship. Dominance in the relationship can curtain all your freedom and enslave you.

The day continued with William thoroughly unconscious, leaving Vanessa with enough time and space to work on her job and focus on anything apart from him. 

It became a disappointing pattern of Vanessa feeling unable to be around William while he was conscious. It definitely was a reality that started to weigh on her.


	14. Peaceful exchange

It was a grey, slow morning. is a thin line between a man taking the lead and one being controlling in a relationship. Dominance in the relationship can curtain all your freedom and enslave you.

The day continued with William thoroughly unconscious, leaving Vanessa with enough time and space to work on her job and focus on anything apart from him. 

It became a disappointing pattern of Vanessa feeling unable to be around William while he was conscious. It definitely was a reality that started to weigh on her. 

William woke up the next day to a pitch dark room, first sounds nibbling at the edge of stillness. It was still early, a grey, slow morning. Next to him, the bed was empty. Assumably, Vanessa was long gone. As William left the bed, he found a note. He recognized Vanessa's handwriting. 

He used to adore her little sticky notes that she would leave behind for him to read. They often contained cute messages. 

This time was different, obviously. After their last obstacle, Vanessa avoided him. That's what he assumed, at least. Vanessa never left the bed without him, unless absolutely necessary. 

He stumbled in upon Vanessa peacefully eating dinner. A sight he was unfortunately going to ruin within a split second. "I am very disappointed, Vanessa. You can't run away from a conversation by using your knowledge about my body against me. That was a childish act. This is important. We need to discuss this." For in that moment she'd seen his inner monster lock onto her.

Her self-esteem was different. More self assured. "You're testing my patience, William. We're not going to solve any of our problems if we continue in this fashion." Her voice was powerful, leaving no room for doubt. Last night gained her enough time to think and reflect. William Afton was charming, but when he felt like he 'had' Vanessa in the bag already, he showed his true colors. Such ego starts to surface everywhere very quickly. Vanessa left her seat to stand nice and close, directly in his face. 

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, Bunny. I should have taken your feelings into consideration to my plan. I made a mistake. However, that does not mean we should drop this conversation." 

"I'm not dropping anything." Dominance is so intrinsic to human social relationships that we don’t even notice it. Dominance in romantic or married couples is an important but underappreciated phenomenon. Many people believe that being dominant or submissive is something that is ingrained from birth, which is why it surprised William so much when Vanessa suddenly appeared to take the lead in their conversation and harshly push him down to sit on a chair across from her. Just wielding that power caused Vanessa to feel more in control, empowered. "You can't continuously get away with this shit, Will. I will carefully think of a plan for your.. little forceful request. Until then, not another word about it." 

"I understand." 

The quiet days were idled away, turned into a more stressful weekend. Perhaps to someone unaccustomed it could be less than worrisome, but Vanessa saw her one and only calm and work-free day disappear in disappointment. 

William left the confined space in order to do the dishes. It distracted both him and Vanessa from their conversation. 

"Thank you for listening, William." 

Vanessa stood by his side. Vanessa stayed rooted to the spot, the breeze moving her hair softly away from her cheekbones. Her features buckled just slightly before she spoke, "can I ask you about your past?" It’s almost inevitable — you spend a lot of time in your daily life talking about surface-level, mundane things.

But Vanessa knows that there’s more that lies beneath the surface of William Afton, and has a genuine desire to find the right questions to ask to lead the conversation in a more fulfilling direction.

William broke his gaze, preferring instead to rest his eyes on cleaning the dishes, face set like an adversary, eyes cold, muscles tense. William loathed the idea of talking about the worst things that have happened to him. Discussing a painful experience can feel humiliating or terrifying. At the core of William is avoidance—turning away from anything that reminds him of his past. He thinks if anyone gets to know the real him, he'll be abandoned faster than a beachfront house during hurricane season. Which wasn't the strangest way of thinking. William had been a horrible human being. However, Vanessa already knew this. She knew what kind of person he was, despite that.. she stayed with him. "I loved my children. As their father, it was my responsibility to care for them." He spoke with a reserved voice. Whether his love was a normal or twisted one, he did love his children. Most likely in his own manipulative way. William believed his children were special and deserving of special opportunities and privileges, and he refused to tolerate anything less than perfection. William viewed his children as a part of himself — like his arm or his leg, and when his children weren't achieving, he withdrew his affection and became disconnected.

Children aren’t equipped to handle that disconnection from their primary caregivers. They need parents who are consistent, available and unconditionally approving to form secure attachments. As adults, we rely on these secure attachments formed in childhood to dictate how we relate to others, view ourselves, and even cope with stress. When the formation of that secure attachment is disrupted, the impacts can last a lifetime.

"William, you know damn well what I'm trying to say. I'm happy to know that you loved your family, but it's not the answer I want to my question. You can talk to me. Everything I can find online is so vague. Now I have the REAL William Afton right in front of me and I would like to know everything there is about you. You're a horrible person. You've done bad things. You've done bad things to me, too. Do you truly believe that telling me about your past will change anything? I won't leave. I want to help you heal, Mr. Afton." William wasn't listening to her. The problem with communication is that real communication is a two way street. Unfortunately a lot of people think they can simply ignore problems and they go away. So, as William passed Vanessa by, she held onto his arm and pulled the male towards her. Within a tight embrace, William could do nothing but accept his fate. He could feel the heat growing in his cheeks. By now they must be beyond an attractive rosiness. Vanessa knew exactly what would happen if she was to drop her question once again. They don’t say anything, they let the problem fester and continue and bury it deep down inside of them. What eventually happens is the problem becomes so unbearable that one day it all comes out in a fury. 

"In detail.. what happened? What was your family like? What happened to them..? What was your exact reasoning for murder? Why did you collect 'remnant'? You can tell me, because at the end of the day.. I'll still hold you." Vanessa added, looking deep into the other's eyes. William sunk into the warmth of her side, appreciative of the simple gesture, despite the heaviness in his stomach. "If it makes you feel any better.. you can also ask anything about me?" 

"How did you end up with me? Surely there must be a reason why you gave up on everything else." 

Vanessa bit her lip, eyes everywhere but on William. "I've lived in this apartment for years. I moved here when I was sixteen and left my family at a young age. My youth was depressing. My parents were neglectful. I felt as though they never truly wanted me. They often forgot or didn't want to feed me dinner, so I bought energy bars from the little amount of money I owned. I believed them to be nutritious enough to serve as dinner. I was a kid. I didn't know any better. I lost weight at a rapid speed, often ending up in trips to the hospital. Furthermore, my life was quite bleak. I started therapy.. I dated some people.. got a job. This became a routine. The same blend of days combined into multiple boring years." Her body squirms just a little as her muscles relax. There is something about that gaze of his she'll never find in another man. She didn't understand why he wanted to know in the first place. Her story wasn't fascinating. "I remember watching serial killer documentaries. I liked those. I felt as though.. I could relate. That burning hatred most of them held towards society. I hated people, mankind. I felt alone, abandoned. I'd feel company in their fury. That's when I saw you. You started appearing in these documentaries. Little to nothing was known about your life. I was intrigued. I wanted to study psychology. I did.. for a little while. I started to drop out in order to.. work for Fazbear entertainment. It was a stupid decision back in the day. I was so.. obsessed with your stories." 

"That must sound lame, huh?" 

His eyes are so different in moments like these, more soft than Vanessa knew eyes could be. She could see his raw emotions. William was nervous. She awaited his response patiently. 

"I never.. killed anyone out of sheer joy." His face was stern, even a little melancholy. His face was expressionless, the eyes behind the square, gunmetal spectacles, completely empty. "My partnership with Henry was both a blessing and a curse. He gave me purpose. He gave me everything I ever wanted, but he took the spotlight. I was more brilliant. I was clever, and more skilled in our profession, and yet.. I was cast out into the shadows. I adore Henry, don't get me wrong. I never had a true friendship or bond with anyone else before Henry. In my younger years, Henry truly was everything I had. Henry gave me respect, made me an equal, founded a company with me. He was my everything. He was family and a true friend, but God I could absolutely despise him. He had a loving family.. a successful job, and most of all.. love. He was loved for who he was, even outside of that damn costume. I envied him. Family is something special, right? Family is something that's very special for one reason, unconditional love." 

William paused, processing what he had just said and almost as if to double-check how he came across to Vanessa. 

"I'm sure.. that because of your childhood, you understand. If I had a family, I wouldn't have to impress constantly to have people love me, I could just have people to love me unconditionally no matter what. But there was one more source of unconditional love. The spring Bonnie suit. The children that came to visit the pizzeria loved the characters in an unconditional manner. They are fun, joyful. I was worshipped. Eventually all the kids have to go home, maybe they won't ever come back. I wanted to grant them their 'happiest day' forever." He reached out to hold Vanessa's more fragile hands into his own, staring deeply into her eyes with a dissatisfied longing. If it were anyone else Vanessa would drop her gaze, but with him she's drawn in closer, always wanting more. "You understand, don't you?" 

She sees how every emotion comes together to form the art of his soul. It forms a picture she sees in an instant and comprehends with full depth. His eyes were truly marvelous.. and wicked. 

"I'm afraid of death, Vanny. It's only when I discovered remnant.. that I saw a solution. I faced my own mortality multiple times. I feel like any time of the day, my time is running out. It genuinely scares me. I wanted to give those children.. a greater purpose, and I did." 

"Their happiest day, huh? I wonder if the children saw it the same way. Your jealousy.. Is that why you killed Henry's daughter? Was she also one of your experiments?" One of the things that are most difficult for many couples to deal with are those moments when one or both partners just aren’t acting rationally or reasonably. And yet, Vanessa was absolutely engrossed by it. "This is all very shocking.. and insane!" Vanessa experienced extreme happiness. She felt enthusiastic, because something good was going to happen. It made her unable to relax. "It's so.. thrilling. I should run away and call the police, or literally just anyone for safety. But I can't. I don't want to. I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I want to bid you my unconditional love. That's what you want, isn't it?" It scares her how she can be so attracted to, or hopelessly beguiled by, the most terrifying of human predators. 

"I am devoted to you, Darling." 

After their intense exchange, the both of them looked for alone time. The free time and space to look after one's needs. Alone time is healthy, particularly in relationships. It's imperative for recharging, re-centering, connecting with oneself, and being able to show up to the relationship fully.

When you first enter into a relationship with someone you like, it’s normal to want to spend the majority of your time with that person. Love is about support and respect, not constant attention. 

And so, both of them left to carry out seperate things. 

William opened a new book to read. The book opened as sweetly as spring flowers. Upon those soft leaves were words for the soul, a poetry that asked the core of each person for a dance. 

The book was several hundred white pages, each gentle to the fingertips. William read until he was almost cross-eyed and the words merged into nonsense. The book had a vice-like grip on his mind, it's twisted reality began to distort his own. Engrossed, absorbed, almost in a trance.

Meanwhile, Vanessa used the time to catch up on some of her shows to watch.


	15. First time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes pegging. if this isn't really your thing, you can skip this chapter. Nothing important concerning the story happens, it's just pegging.

The sun was slowly starting to set. Their peaceful and quiet day is coming to an end. 

Vanessa knew a few stores would still be open for customers. There were a few things she needed to pick up, thus she got ready to leave the house. Vanessa loved shopping. She loved the perfumed, air conditioned mall. She basked in the attention of the sales staff whom were forced to obey her every wish. "I'm heading into the city. I won't be away for long, just to pick up some products." 

Her hand held onto the door handle, ready to twist and leave. If only William didn't interrupt her. She expected it to be difficult to leave, considering how clingy William could be. The approaching footsteps clip-clopped along her floor. 

"Why are you creeping up on me, Will..?" 

He walked up to her slowly and pulled her closer to him. William wrapped his arms around her waist, gently rubbing her arm. Despite his skinny appearance, William was surprisingly strong. He effectively trapped her in his embrace. 

"Because I'm a creep." 

He released her relatively quickly. 

"Come back in one piece." 

Soon enough Vanessa shut the door behind her. To her surprise, William really let her go without a struggle. Vanessa weaved through the crowds, edging through the dense flow of people with her bags getting more full by the minute. She had a goal in her mind, something that sparked her fantasies for years. 

With the store music playing softly behind the noise of the shoppers and tills, she laughed internally at the amount of egocentric people passing her by. Vanessa spends more time reading the labels than walking - but isn't that modern shopping for you?

The city air is fresh this day, almost sweet and floral as the pace of living relaxes to a steadier rhythm.

From adolescence onwards, one of the great struggles we face is how to reconcile our desire to be normal and good with the contents of our sexual fantasies. For most of us, there are some alarming bits of our imaginations that simply refuse to fit in with the rest of our allegiances. 

All this can be hugely challenging to our investment in appearing progressive and sane. 

The idea of sharing her sexual fantasies makes Vanessa want to crawl out of her skin, however William had done multiple cruel acts over the last couple of days. She was allowed.. to act out a fantasy of hers. 

Or actually.. that was what she told herself. 

"Will, I'm back!" Vanessa called out to the other upon her arrival. She found her lover cooking dinner, and such a simple gesture still created a loving smile on her face. "There's something.. I wish to talk about." 

Talking about sex with a partner is a vulnerable act anyway, and voicing her sexual fantasies can leave her feeling extra exposed, especially because she thinks those fantasies are embarrassing or taboo. Vanessa worried that her thoughts and desires wouldn't line up exactly with her partner’s or that he might judge what she's into.

Vanessa easily gained William's attention. He wasn't too far into his cooking. He could still easily pause his actions at this point. 

"I want to try out anal play." 

He stared as if Vanessa just produced a rhinoceros from her pocket. She could just imagine the sparks in his brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit. He looked like a pop-eyed toy from one of those claw machines at the fun fair. He seemed startled like a deer in the woods, almost toppling as he took a large step backwards. 

"Excuse me?" He finally managed to whisper, as his mind searched for something reasonable to say. 

William's expression clearly read 'mortified', however Vanessa wasn't discouraged. He's never had a woman fuck him, he's never even considered the possibility. "Oh, you heard me loud and clear. I want to fuck your brains out." Vanessa denied William any possible escape. Her arms kept the other safely secured against the kitchen counter, while Vanessa pressed her body up against William's. "I promise to make you feel thoroughly exhausted and satisfied, only if you let me." Her eyes were gleaming, shining bright with enthusiasm. She kisses him, one hand in his hair and the other holding his face, starting gently and slowly becoming more desperate, the way she always kisses him when she wants control for the night. 

Her words made him squirm, a delighted but awkward laugh leaving his lips. Relaxing into her, William slipped one slender arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest. 

"Will you trust me, Mr. Afton?" 

She makes eye contact, tugging on his hair a little to make her statement, easing the male into her suggestion. 

"We can try.. I cannot promise that I'll enjoy it, but if it's something you truly wish for... I will give it a try." 

Vanessa took William's hands in her own, gently gesturing him towards the bedroom. "You won't regret it." As William stared he could feel himself become hypnotized by her eyes. Her expression was pleasant, with an inkling of excitement. On the other hand, every muscle in William's face was tense and without a word he communicated intense mistrust. "Sit down and wait for me, okay?" 

And he did wait. 

All that waiting has William on the edge of anxiety and excitement, unsure of what to do with himself as he waits for her to come back to the bedroom. He just sits there, dumbly staring at the door.

When she finally does come back he stops breathing for a second, she’s beautiful, a smile on her face, hair pulled back, completely naked. Well, completely naked except for a gorgeous set of lingerie. There's nothing like purchasing an over-the-top set complete with suspenders, a super-sleek bodysuit, or cheeky ouvert bottoms that you've fallen in love with and simply must have. It doesn't have to be a splurge, just something over-the-top and unexpected, and maybe not 100% practical. William grinned - so wide it stretched the corners of his mouth. He laughed, and his cheeks flushed a beautiful crimson. The great William Afton, blushing because of her. A soft sigh left his lips, the way someone sighs at a beautiful thing. Awe and longing. Desire. Shock. Real and rare and uncalculated, mouth gaped as he looked at her, half-naked in the light, the top of her waist exposed now, almost her hip bones, and her stomach, and her ribs, and her lacy bra, her bare shoulders. 

"You look lovely, darling." 

He complimented her looks, however.. something ruined the perfect scenery. A disturbingly realistic black dildo. Seriously, why does it need that much detail?

The strap-on between her legs would be comical if he wasn’t so fucking hard for her right now. Finding a good quality strap-on and the right dildo is key to a positive pegging experience. It took Vanessa a long while to find the perfect harness and she wasn't afraid to show it off. 

She inched close to William. There was heat coiling in her gut, desperate hands itching to touch him, and it was so rare for him to let her.

She kissed him. Then, in a matter of seconds, it escalates from a gentle movement of their closed lips to tentative open-mouthed kisses, and Vanessa slips her tongue between William's lips, teasing. Vanessa's hands tug the hem of William's shirt up, impatient, and okay, William can take a hint. He detaches from her long enough to pull his t-shirt over his head.

They’re both a bit breathless when they separate, he tries to go in for another kiss, but she holds him back, “I need you to do something for me, William.”

William's body is warm all over—warm and tingly, blood rushing in his veins, "and what's that?" 

"I need you to make a decision," hooking her fingers under the waistband of William's pants, Vanessa pulls the pants and boxers down in one go, watching as his cock springs free. She grabs a hold of the base of his cock. It pulses in her hand, and somewhere above William moans weakly and drops from his elbows onto his back. "Have you ever heard of rimming? It is the act of orally pleasuring the anus. I could also penetrate you with my fingers in order to loosen up your body, or even a combination." 

"They.. both sound horrifying." 

"William, if you won't make a choice," Vanessa said, awfully close, leaning above him. "Then I will." 

Vanessa was aware that deep down, that was the outcome she wanted most. She held his hips, turning him over on his belly. William obeyed Vanessa's hands and rolled over, pressing his cheek to the pillows. 

"I need to return the favor, don't I?" The girl spoke, looking back on the situation that happened prior. "So, bottom up," said Vanessa, pausing her attention to pull William apart with both thumbs. William's throat was incapable of sensible activity. Anyway, he thought he knew what came next, his anxiety skyrocketing. 

then Vanessa's sharp little mouth lipped at his thigh, his buttocks. William grunted into the silks. He couldn’t form a thought to demur at how Vanessa's wet mouth sought him out, ferreting to the centre of him. 

A spasm of something like shame seized him for an instant - the thought of Vanessa behind him looking, no doubt. How was his aspect from her direction? Surely not flattering. Certainly undignified. His belly tightened, William panted, dizzied.

Vanessa experimentally presses her tongue flat against William's hole, noticing the way it needily clenches around her tongue. William let out a choked moan as she repeated the action.

He shuddered at the flirting stroke of Vanessa's tongue as it descended upon him. He whined, trembling at the rich slopping of her thorough tongue. He rocked back against the first lick. And the second, the tenth - the thirtieth. Vanessa felt little shifts of William's hips against her. They started slow, small enough that Vanessa wondered if William was just adjusting to get more comfortable. The movements continued and soon enough, she felt William twitching beneath her. 

Little pants were escaping William's mouth now, tiny moans caught in his throat.

His hands twitched against the silk, clutching at nothing. His spine snapped hot with every deep, prying lick, until he couldn’t understand where his body ended and Vanessa's began.

William finds himself whining into his pillow, only for Vanessa to lean forward to peel his face off it's soft surface. "Don't deny me your dulcet tones now." The sob her tender voice rips from his throat turns into a groan. Vanessa's hands gripped his ass, spreading William wider as she took William efficiently apart with her tongue, making it easier to wiggle the tip of her tongue inside his clenching walls. 

She added a finger, and there's nothing but his resolve keeping him from disobeying her and giving much-needed attention to his throbbing cock, trapped between his weight and the mattress, rubbing against the sheets in time with her thrusts.

But the prospect itself is enough to make William's walls clench around her fingers.

"That sensitive, hm?" The mischief in her voice signals she's well aware of what the gesture does to him. "Good boy."

William rocks in unison with each of her thrusts, moaning as her fingers stretch his ass, meanwhile her other hand squeezes and tugs at his nipples lost in sexual abandon. He groans, lifting his ass in salacious invitation. "You're doing so good, Mr. Afton." 

Vanessa decided that William felt prepared well enough. She double checked that the dildo was still slicked with enough lube to drown a horse, before she moved into position, and let the head brush against his entrance. Thanks to her freed up hands, she braced herself on her elbows to lean up and kiss William with all the gentle tenderness that she carried within her for him. The kiss lingered in the slow, sensual dance as she rolled her hips to push in. Vanessa didn't push it or force it in, instead, let him relax and take it at his own pace. A low, desperate moan wracked his body beneath her, and he lifted up to meet her as best he could. Small thrusts pressed her deeper and deeper into him. 

"Are you okay, William? Do you need more time to get used to it?" 

"It's okay, I'm okay. It's just.. weird." William wasn't entirely sure if he said this to reassure Vanessa or himself. William allowed himself to savor the warm weight of his wife atop him accompanied by the blissful stretch inside him. Everything had fallen into a whirlpool of surreal delight, his world had become just the two of them, everything he had ever wanted was right here, right now. Once he felt he could really take her, he lifted his hips and experimentally rocked up against her. 

Vanessa smiles at the sight of William experimenting with her. 

His cock is leaking on the bed, he knows he wouldn’t last long if he touched himself, but he also knows Vanessa won’t let him, she wants to see him reach his limit just like this.

Pegging is great because it puts you in a role you’re not really used to being in as a woman. There are aspects of dominance, power, intimacy, and strength that we don't get to experience in quite the same wordless way when it comes to vanilla sex.

"Glad to see you are enjoying yourself. Do you perhaps.. enjoy it more to be in a submissive position? Is it great to feel absolutely powerless? Man, you're a mess." She asks softly, rubbing his thigh, his muscles tense from her touch, so close to his dick, still untouched and aching. She’s always been good at the ability to see what’s going on in his head. 

"Stop it. We both know that's not true." 

"Oh really?" The sleek curve of the dildo rubbed against his sweet spot with each thrust, while his cock rubbed against the bedsheets. Sparks of pleasure jumped along his skin and her nails raked along his back. "You look pretty cute like this. I haven't seen you so loud before, you know?" A sharp snap of her hips and William cried out. Every time Vanessa did something he liked, she could feel all his muscles squeezing around her. "Oh! That.. didn't sound like I was wrong? Man, you nearly screamed just now, and you want me to believe this isn't some sick fantasy of yours? Why is there a prostate inside of you, Will? You designed your own body, didn't you? Were you.. just silently waiting for me to discover it?" 

Something in William wanted Vanessa to keep saying commands like that, demanding things from him. William's mind went blissfully blank and floaty, the whole world lost to a haze of cotton beyond the two of them, listening to Vanessa's small giggles that sounded so deceivingly innocent.

"Stop. Vanessa. Let me catch my breath."

His voice hitched into stammering. William is stuck between floating in heaven and being dragged across hell. The combination of pleasure and pain is making his head spin. 

Of course Vanessa listened to the other's needs. It was important to pay attention to his body and his reactions. She pulled away after his statement in order to let him rest, however Vanessa pushed William on his back instead to face him. She wanted to see him. She dragged the other closer and on top of her lap, making direct contact with her strap-on. "Are you close, William?" William's lip quivered and his sweaty palms reached back to gently hug her waist closer. It was such a sincere reaction William was willing to show only now that he was in such a bliss. "You shouldn't have stopped me. Right now, your body is taking a break. It's almost like.. you think it's over." Vanessa added once more to her teasing.

Vanessa didn't allow the male to rest. 

She merely slowed down. 

She still occasionally lets him breathe but it's not enough with how his heart is beating like it's going to shatter his ribcage. 

She rolled her hips in a slow, gentle motion, successfully driving her partner insane. William's hips were shaking, toes scrunching up.

"I'm close.." William mumbled right next to her ear, coiling his arms and legs around her in the midst of his pleasure. 

"I love you." Vanessa's confession came out of nowhere. William opened his eyes for a little while. In response, Vanessa helped William get off with her hand wrapping around his erection, twisting, stroking and pulling at all the right places, reducing William to nothing but shivers and uneven exhales.

William's orgasm crept up on him with the tide before he sank into that sea of bliss. As his immediate surroundings slowly seeped back in, the dim light of the room flooded his vision along with her smiling face. 

"How was that for you, William?" 

"Shut up..." William spoke the words in a similar fashion to a child pouting. Perhaps it was his embarrassment that started to sink in. 

"Oh come on! I want to know, Will. It's important. I didn't hurt you, right?" Vanessa asks, sliding her fingers through the wild mess on William's head, her heart squeezing when he leans into the touch. She was feeling needy for affection. "More importantly.. was it good enough to be repeated?" 

Along with a huff came William's reply, it comes with the snarls and barks. He was grumpy. "You talk too much. Can't we just sleep?" Vanessa suppressed a smile. She could tell from William's blush that he really liked their change of events. The girl had gotten better at understanding and reading the other. 

However, she often sways along with William's decisions and needs. Despite his grumpiness and embarrassment, Vanessa wanted his affection. 

And she would get it. One way or another. For once, she planned to receive what she wanted. 

During sex, the brain releases oxytocin which heightens arousal and excitement, but when it wears off, it can leave people feeling really tired. Obviously, William's body wasn't a true human vessel, however he did make it as close to one as possible. 

William felt immensely exhausted. He needs time to rest and recharge, as a physical sensation it reminds him of falling into quicksand/a swamp. Vanessa, on the other hand, saw it as the perfect opportunity to demand his embrace. 

The more tired William would be, the higher the possibility that he would cradle her and hold her. 

"Excuse me? That's not very nice of you, Mr. Afton. You want me to shut up? I'm not mad.. I mean, it's probably only an attempt for you to feel less embarrassed for enjoying what happened. It doesn't make you unmanly. Anal pleasure for straight men has always been such a taboo, but letting internalised homophobia and gender roles get in the way of mind-blowing orgasms seems a little bit silly, doesn’t it? After all, the prostate – the walnut-size gland found under a man’s bladder and easily accessible via the anus – is essentially the male g-spot. A magic pleasure button, if you will. You felt it too, didn't you? It blew your mind, didn't it?" Obviously, the male beside her grew more and more annoyed with every passing second. 

After more of Vanessa's ranting, William gave up. 

William wrapped her in a warm swaddle of his chest and arms. He let his body sag, his muscles become loose. 

William sighs, tucking his head underneath Vanessa's chin, his hair tickling her nose. Vanessa just starts running her hands through his hair again with a thoughtful hum, lightly scratching his scalp, feeling William's body get increasingly lax, eyes fighting a losing battle to stay open.


	16. The first step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on this story! This chapter is a little bit short, but I wanted to show some progress.. show I'm still alive lol.

The following morning, William woke up to the smell of freshly cooked bacon. 

Vanessa's culinary skills only extend to toast or cereal, so it was a surprise that she even attempted something new. 

Instead of enjoying the aroma of croissants, toast, hash browns and all the other confectionaries you could possibly imagine for breakfast on an ordinary morning, William left the comfort of their shared bedroom in order to face Vanessa. 

No matter the troubles that swirled in the grey cloud or lingered in the morning-chilled grass, the kitchen held the keys to serenity and the start of a brand new day. Breakfast was merely a token to celebrate the beginning of a new day. 

The atmosphere was peaceful, placid, serene, and tranquil. 

"Goodmorning, Will." Her voice cut through the silence, "do you want to come along when I head to work? I made a big fuss about it before, but this time is different." As Vanessa spoke of her permission, the girl slowly passed her phone to the male before her. An invitation for him to infiltrate her mobile and travel with her consent. 

"That is.. suspicious."

Vanessa chose to dive headfirst into the action, so William obliged with his suspicion. 

"What is your reasoning, Vanny? There must be a reason, isn't that right?" His lectures were characterized by a calm and peaceful atmosphere, by a search for dialogue with his partner, though his expression remained stern. 

"Perhaps, William. You will see when the time is right. Maybe I want to keep it a fun surprise, an experiment. Will you come along with me? It will be.. and experience, to say the least. I have plans." 

As time passed, Vanessa left to head to her work. With a sudden jerking movement she stepped back and opened the door, the cool damp air rushing in. A little bit of workplace stress is expected, and it's natural to not feel gloriously happy at work every minute you're there. However, the intensity of Vanessa's growing hatred directed towards her work grew in a more toxic manner. It was the same routine every shift. 

It's clear that today, life in the workforce isn't a walk in the park. 

One of the most important hiring criteria for many companies is the ability to work as a team player—yet, so many of us have colleagues who don’t play well with others. If you have one bad apple in the bunch, it can really hurt the morale and enthusiasm of an entire department. A department, or company, that works well together, has the most success together. When you enjoy working with your colleagues and look forward to interacting with them, everyone benefits.

There was a change. Instead, Vanessa headed straight to her boss. There wasn't a moment of hesitation. 

"I will be resigning from this job. This.. isn't working for me anymore, and I'm sure this doesn't come as a surprise." Turning in your resignation isn't always easy. Even if you hate your job, despise your boss, and can't wait to start that new job – even if you are about to be fired – it can be difficult to resign tactfully. "I thank you for the opportunity." 

She genuinely tried to remain calm and neutral, but her ignorance broke through. Vanessa wasn't a good person, and she had grown tired of pretending. 

On her way out, a male interrupted her. 

Luis.. 

"Why are you leaving, Ness..? It's sudden.. and a bit unusual. I thought you were having a good time, despite all of your worries. I'm.. worried, to say the least. You changed." He sounds sincere. His honest eyes bored into hers as if trying to convince Vanessa he was not lying. His quivering lower lip begged her to believe him. He begged her to stay. 

It was of no use in the end, for Vanessa pushed through with her plan. 

She understands staying focused on one's goal can be tough at times. But when you know the reason, the why behind your goal, lack of focus should not be an impediment.

This is what Vanessa wanted. This was her sole final solution. 

She would obey. 

As soon as Vanessa exited the building, a voice she craved to finally hear spoke up. She needed his praise. 

"That was.. unexpected. I am so proud of you. You will be remembered, Vanny. I will create your own legacy. You have done well. This is a fascinating step towards the rightful direction."


	17. Ignorance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saying this once more for a warning... chapter includes pegging. It's my coping for quaratine okay...?

"A big step in our wished for direction, isn't that right, William? We are going to make history.. and it starts right here. I'm not hesitant anymore. I'm ready. I want to make plans together with you for our future. No family, no work, little contact with friends.. I'm all yours. It's just you and me." The door opened slowly, and their home lay bare, loving and warm. Night had fallen and enveloped the city in a blanket of darkness. Vanessa and William scurried down the path towards their house, their shoes slapping against the stone steps that led to the front door. "Are you proud of me, Will?" The female before him smiled, longing evident in her eyes. She knows how William aches when he sees her smile. He wants it to only be directed towards him. For him. Because of him. He wants to bring her joy; be the source of those lit eyes. 

"Oh, the wide range of emotions you cause me to feel again.. of course I am proud, Vanny." The voice was unexpected. It was low, with an agreeable trace of huskiness. William gently took her hands in his own, her fragile hands so small compared to his. William Afton was a good few inches taller than her, after all. William held her eyes, as she stared she could feel herself become hypnotized by the changing colors. 

She was quiet for a moment as she studied him, for this time she wanted William to make the first move. A breath of a laugh escaped his lips as William leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Vanessa's lips before gently nipping at her bottom, somehow immediately catching on to her train of thoughts. "You make me feel all sorts of things. Things I thought were forgotten over the last few years." His hand flew to her thigh as he sucked in a breath through his teeth, cracking an eye open to see a fond smile on her face. "Lust.. for example." William brought the hand that wasn't massaging her thigh to cradle her neck to deepen the kiss. 

The distinct aroma of arousal, both male and female, filled the air around them. The smells lingered heavily in the air, never fully dissipating as they continued to be built upon faster than they could vanish. 

Her breath expelled loudly, against his sensitive skin, in heated huffs and hungry whimpers. Giggles and pleased moans danced over to his ears, letting him know that with his kiss, he was not the only one enjoying it. 

William swung her up in his arms, his comforting hand held her back, delaying her legs from collapsing under her. His usual mode of hurrying from one thing to the next was suspended, he had no wish for the kiss to end. Drunk on endorphins his only desire was to touch her. In moments the soft caress has become more firm, he savoured her lips and the quickening of her breath that matched his own. Her eyes flew open wide as she felt what was unmistakably a rock-hard cock rubbing at her through the fabric of her jeans. 

One large hand clapped against her left butt-cheek with a loud 'smack' of flesh-on-jeans, jolting her upward and forcing out a low grunt. 

"William! My ass is not a drumset. Fuck! Hold on." There was something in that shout, a pain behind it. William watched. He watched Vanessa's eyes. The anger was nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades. Her feet reach for the ground once again, seeking balance. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, but I'm not ready yet. I thought I was, but the.. first time is still a little fresh on my mind. I'm working on it. Let me take charge once more?" It was more like a plea, than anything else. There was so much more to survival than the persistence of the flesh. 

"What?" William drew in a deep breath, the burning hard stare would last only as long as it took him to think of a way to rest his anger. His customary warmth gone faster than summer rain on the tarmac. "You can't defy me, Vanessa. You can't keep running from me forever." Vanessa crossed some invisible line, offended his sensibilities. She's seen him do this to others before, but Vanny thought their bond immune. 

"De.. Defy you?" She startled like a deer in the woods, almost toppling as she took a large step backwards. "You.. have the audacity to say that?!" Vanessa stopped herself abruptly. She calmed herself, deep breaths. Her breath seemed to stutter in her lungs before she let it go, feeling the tension drain from her body. Fighting with William was not going to help her. William Afton was not a man to argue with, for he was convinced to never make any mistakes. 

"Get on your knees." 

“What?” He asks, a little surprised, that wasn’t what he was expecting. "I am aware I angered you, but you are not making sense." 

"Blow me, William." She makes eye contact, tugging on his hair a little to make her statement. She presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth and throws one of the pillows on the floor next to the bed, "On your knees, Afton."

He knew the true nature of her question. Shame. Everyone experiences shame at one time another. It’s an emotion with physical symptoms like any other that come and go, but when it’s severe, it can be extremely painful. Her intention was to cause him great discomfort. He watched her as she left the room, leaving him with an already existing idea of what she was going to do. We all have our own specific triggers or tender points that produce feelings of shame. Vanny telling him to kneel while she left the room filled William with uncertainty, anxiety and curiosity. 

He obeys, lowering himself to his knees. 

She returns to his side, and William finds himself on the floor staring up at the dildo strapped around her waist, it definitely looks weirder up close. Of course she was wearing that cursed thing. “Don’t be shy,” she smirks at him, stroking his cheek. His face definitely just got warmer. Vanessa mumbles something along the lines of cute before pressing the false cock to his lips, he parts them on instinct, the feeling wildly different. The weight on his tongue, the stretch of his lips, it’s cool with a plasticy feeling.

Vanessa's fingers thread through his hair as the dildo hits the back of his throat, to which William gags. His fingers clench, eyes shut tightly. His motions are useless, but he treats it as if she could feel it, hollowing his cheeks and pressing his tongue against it. She gasps, hips pushing up. He presses down, despite there being no more to take, and she gasps again, fingers finding a grip on his hair.

He pulls off, an obscene sound filling the room, he smirks up at her, “Enjoying yourself?”

“Don’t be an ass,” she keeps her grip on his hair, tightening it in a very unsubtle attempt to say keep going. Will looked up at his lover and saw her eyes half-closed and the flush in her cheeks. 

He saw fire in Vanessa's eyes when he realized what she wanted, and with a rough clasp of his hair, she pushed in. Down, down, deeper, to the back of William's throat, where he had to relax his muscles and mentally tell his gag reflex to calm down, and then deeper still. Then Vanessa began to pick up speed, and William’s balance started to falter. Vanessa's hands were there, clasping the sides of his face, her fingers wrapped tightly around the back of his head to keep him in place. She started to thrust, fucking his mouth, giving William the shortest moments to catch a breath. She was ruthless.

In a sudden rush, Vanessa pulled away from him, and William sat back, knees no longer steady, his thighs and knees complaining from what she had made them do. He let out a burning ball of air that was searing the walls of his lungs, his lungs feel as elastic as old underpants, just sagging instead of contracting for the next breath. 

"Are you ready, Afton? You’re quite the needy thing today, aren’t you?” William opened his eyes as he felt those fingers slowly running through his messy hair. It was soft and loving as her fingers rub over his scalp and slowly over the back of his neck. An unexpected gentleness, in contrast to her actions before. He breathed shakily, a shivering running down his spine as she began to run her hands down his back. He could already feel her pressing up against him, and her nails lightly dragging down his back. "Get on the bed." He listened, Vanessa following him closely. “…do you think you deserve it?” His breathing hitched when he felt the head of her strap-on dildo resting between his cheeks, a blush forming over his face. 

"What are you talking about?" The words come out of him in a soft voice, not his usual confident snark.

The first press of the dildo made William suck in air, the question Vanny asked thrown out of the window. She continued to sink into William's body, the sleek dildo shiny with too much lube. It felt like forever before her pelvis ended up snuggly against William's ass. That’s when Vanessa starts the vibrator on the lowest setting. The toy comes to life then, the head of it moving where there’s gentle vibrations against the internal pleasure locations inside of William's body, it‘s too much and not enough all at once, the need to come starts building before he can even try to stop it. 

But Vanessa didn't move. 

Here’s the thing: Vanny, his Vanessa? She loves to torment. Especially.. when he upset her. He should've known by now. 

The cock nestled deep inside William, for what felt like hours. It very well could have been hours, for the lack of coherency in William's frazzled brain. "Do you deserve it?" Her question rings once more in William's mind as Vanessa speaks up, holding William firm against her, for as long as her patience allows her. And with William at her mercy like this, her patience stretches out far past the length of his sanity. "Do you deserve to feel good? I want you to answer my question, Will." 

One of Vanessa's hands come around to rest against his back, fingers tracing his skin, his shoulders, while the other pressed firmly against his abdomen, like she wants to feel the outline of her own vibrator buried deep inside of Will. The hand on his stomach tightens as Vanessa delivers a particularly cruel thrust, sniper’s accuracy homing in on that sensitive nub. 

What comes out of William is a garbled sound. Vanessa buries her fingers into William's smooth hair, fisting the strands. He can feel her answering grin in the junction of his neck and shoulder. “You are lovely like this, Afton,” she murmurs, “taking what I give you, letting me have your pleasure.”

"This is the way it's supposed to be." 

Vanessa's mocking comments, somehow both taunting and fond, fills William up with an embarrassment and desire that threatens to overwhelm him completely. He can feel how flushed his skin is. 

As if reading his thoughts, Vanessa's attention shifts back to William, to the single-minded task of bringing him to ruin with only her cock and her words. 

Without a single movement from Vanessa, William whimpers. He fucking whimpers. "Hush, my love,” Vanny replies, it startles a groan from Will. “I will give you what you need, eventually.” And William knows this, he knows, but he’s dangerously close to overstimulation, even closer to coming that he can practically taste it, and this abyss between satisfaction and frustration snaps his threadbare patience.

He feels pinned, impaled, pleasure singing - his skin is shivering and his cock quivers - and it takes a moment for the world to right itself around them.

"Beg." She spoke, and God he wants her to fuck him, he wants her to pin him down and take him apart - she could, she's strong enough, and there are very few people strong enough. She puts her arms around him and strokes them up his front, stomach, chest to hold him for a moment before she plays with his nipples - his eyes flutter closed - and then she follows the path back down. He grabs for her wrists, gives a shaky moan when she sets one at the base of his cock and then wraps the fingers of the other to give a long, slow pull. 

She's holding him back, that's what she's doing, that hand at the base of his cock means she can pull and pull with the other and he feels like she'll go on forever. "Please," he says, and she does it again, a long, slow pull on his cock, another - he isn't straining yet and her hand is strong, sure and she curls her fingers so his foreskin comes up over the head with each stroke. 

When he looks down, her fingers are still holding his cock at the root and pulling slow and steady on it with the other. She’s pressing kisses along the back of his shoulders, each one warmer than the last, and one of her hands moves to stroke his stomach softly. "Overwhelmed?" she hazards, and he feels like his lungs are full, like his stomach is full, like his joints have petrified and this is where he should stay forever. He feels like if he doesn't look at the bed or him, he might choke on how good it feels, it might consume him from the center outwards and burn him up until there's nothing left.

"Yeah," he says, because he was going to say "that's a pretty good way to put it" but he doesn't have the braincells available for all that right now.

"What are you waiting for? Move your hips." She scrapes her teeth over his shoulder next while he moves against her, starts shifting her fist over his cock in the same rhythm he's keeping for himself, and he starts to lose track of where his limbs are, starts to lose track of his body aside from the places the sweat has gathered to prickle - the backs of his knees, the crooks of his elbows, the small of his back, his hairline - and then places they're touching - his dick, wherever her other hand touches, her mouth, the entire inside of his body around the dildo. William thinks he can't have any less control about himself until she tightens her fingers and angles herself just right, and then his spine's snapping forward, his hips jerking upward like he could push his whole body through her fist. One of his shoulders hunches inward, head dropping forward, then again further, and he keens over the next raw spike of pleasure that lances up inside of him.

"I want to come," he says, but he's not close enough to do it yet, he needs a little more. She's long and smooth inside of him, pushing against his prostate like a never ending flare of want before it drags all the way back again. It's sapping all the energy out of him - he'll get there but it could take him hours like this. 

"I'm not sure if I want to let you." 

Her response crushed him. "Please," he gasps, desperate even to his own ears. 

And then she starts to fuck him for real - she doesn't start slow, because she doesn't need to, his speed was dictated by the weakness in his legs and she doesn't have any of that. He can barely hear the slap of her thighs against his over his own desperate breathing. His mouth is open and he only knows it when she kisses the corner of it, for he can't coordinate to kiss her back properly, and then she's gripping him, fingers vice-tight around his cock, and stroking him in time with her thrusts and it's so fast and so much and

"Aw, fuck," he says, the words half-swallowed, "ah God, oh fuck."

“That’s it,” she answers, so close he can feel her breath on his lips, “that’s right,” and it feels like she's trying to break his body apart, like she’s trying to break him into pieces. 

“Oh,” he says, pitch rising as he does, and his body tries to get away from her but she holds him fast, his spine bowing outward his hips stuttering back to get away from her hands, and then up to get away from the huge shaft inside of him. She grapples for him, arm across his chest to keep him close enough. His orgasm hits him like a tidal wave, strong and unstoppable. He howls, voice cracking while his hips move jerkily, thighs trembling. 

“There you are, sweetheart, that’s right,” and he couldn’t stop if he tried - she won’t let him.

Her fingers still tight on him, she strokes and strokes and it feels like he’ll turn inside out with it, like his whole being is going to spill out and disintegrate because of it. All he can really do is hang on, which is just as well because his fingers have seized, his toes have curled. She keeps going until his desperate gasps have changed to rhythmic moans, until his rhythmic moans have changed to hisses and spasms, until his body moves in ways he isn’t controlling, until he tries to turn his body away from her without even thinking about it. 

He still feels so good and his skin feels like it’s trying to shiver off his bones, his bones feel like they’re trying to melt away. He’s still jerking from the aftershocks, thighs trembling with the effort to hold himself up, when Vanny shifts, pushing him down onto the bed sheets. 

When he wants to, William is pretty good at turning on the charm. Even now, when he just made a rude statement about her so-called defying him, he managed to turn the situation around. Vanessa often catches William lying, manipulating, or blatantly disrespecting others, there’s no reason to believe he won’t do the same to her. A person with a narcissistic personality is often quite self-absorbed. William thinks he's entitled to go where he wants, snoop through her personal things, or tell Vanessa how she should feel. He has little sense of personal space, so William tends to cross a lot of boundaries. More often than not, he doesn’t even see them. 

"Why don't we go out for dinner tonight, Vanny?" 

He cut through their silence. 

Sure, Vanessa wasn't happy about his rudeness before. People with narcissistic personalities are good at making promises. They promise to do what you want and not to do that thing you hate. They promise to generally do better. And they might even be sincere about these promises. But make no mistake about it: The promise is a means to an end for someone with a narcissistic personality. Once they get what they want, the motivation is gone. You can’t count on their actions matching their words. 

William is trying to glue the pieces back together, and sweep it under the rug. 

It seems like the man is purposely walking on thin ice, trying to keep Vanessa happy, in order for her to follow his every command. A happy wife means a happy life. With him on her good side, she will be more inclined to help him out with every request. 

A plan was working behind the complexity of his brain, and Vanny knew it. 

Likely, he has too much pride and can’t figure out how to accept he was at fault, ever. As much as every girl wants fairy tale ending and to believe she is enough to change him, she's likely not. It is hard to accept that, but to ‘change’ him, Vanessa would have to bewill him for years on years, and this mental abuse would erode on her eventually, to the point she wouldn’t feel she could leave or do anything anymore.

He's a narcissistic asshole who has to protect his ego at all costs. 

"Apologize. I still want to hear you say you're sorry." There was no heat in her voice, as if her heart beat so steadily, however her eyes held a grudge. There was something fierce about her, something intimidating. "After that we can go out for dinner, okay, Afton?" 

his mouth was small and rigid, as if only used for the sort of smiles that mask cruelty, perhaps born of a lifetime of suspicion and the special kind of superiority that radiates contempt. It was one of those mouths that only twitch upward when a deception is achieved.

"I'm sorry, Vanny." Vanessa sees the anger flash, the urge to hide his true feelings. And as they talk, she crumbles inside, all the while remaining composed, forcing Vanessa into a life that wasn't quite right, not quite real. 

The lie slipped out, smooth and easy like melted butter running down toast.

Anger, humiliation, pain, pleasure, kindness, shame, love, sadness.. nothing ever seemed to work with this man. Dragging him through hell, making him experience the worst embarrassment.. and he is still lying right in her face, accompanied by the worst sense of pride. 

Vanessa's eyes narrowed as the man continued taunting her. He was tall and handsome, but a pretty face wasn't going to get him out of this.  
"What did you say?" She asked, tightening her ponytail. The man looked unimpressed. A cruel sneer formed on his smooth face and he leaned forward, eyes bearing straight into mine. This man knew no chill. It looked like William was about to tell her something new, but she didn't leave him a chance, "we will go out for dinner. I will look damn glamorous, and you are going to compliment me and be a gentleman. I will not hear any of your stupid insults and complains again. I swear to God, Afton, another word like you did before.. about defying you, or disrespecting you, I will literally castrate you. I will make you regret it. You hear me?! I'll make you wish you remained dead. Do you copy? Behave yourself. You're a fucking adult." 

"Oh, you are still rebelling against me? Do you not remember who I am, Vanny?" Her hands twitched and she could feel a vein pulsing in her forehead. "No! I am not dealing with this!" The girl exclaimed, her anger and hatred getting the better of her. She closed in the distance between the man and herself. Her hand found his tie, dragging him down to her eye level, "uh- uh- it's your fault Vanessa. You definitely have not left everything you knew and loved behind to work for me and risk your life for murder. I am William Afton and I'm an inhumane piece shit." She copied him, earning a raise of William's eyebrows. 

Burning rage hissed through her body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence. It was like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off her like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed like, engulfing her moralities and destroying the boundaries of loyalty.

Every word stung only fueling the fire that burned inside of Vanessa. 

The girl backed away from William, collecting her thoughts. Vanessa could see William coming her way, from the bouncy stride she knew there was a grin plastered on his face. So typical for him to be happy. "I'm starting to think.. you are underestimating me." 

"You really are the most insensitive little bitch-excuse of a man I've ever heard of. I've shown you nothing but an obedient, loyal girl. Sometimes I don't agree on your thoughts or words, but that doesn't mean I wish to leave you or am trying to disrespect you." Vanessa could see the man's neck snapping in her mind, and it felt good. She could feel her fist smashing into his nose, splattering red blood on the tidy walls. What an improvement that would be. But instead, Vanessa just replied as if her jaw were wired shut. "You're not listening to me. You couldn't put your damned pride aside even if it killed you. You don't mind who you hurt or shatter in your way to your own selfish goal. That, or you truly don't understand what I'm trying to say. I've never heard you say you loved me back, but perhaps it's my mistake of ever saying it in the first place. 

"Vanessa, we just had sex? Isn't that.. a weird move on your part? I thought this discussion was settled. I don't want to argue with you, come on. I simply don't understand how you still refuse to give me a second chance. I won't hurt you." William likes to act powerless to gain Vanessa's compassion and to get her sympathy and support. This will allow him to play with her feelings and manipulate her. William can make her feel guilty for anything she's ever done to him. In the end, William does it just to gain more attention and to make people listen to him. "I ask you to calm down. You're making this issue bigger than it truly is, you're overreacting. I said something cruel in a bad timing. I know how good you've been to me. We can move past this, can't we? We don't verbally exclaim or love at all. You haven't said it either, if I'm correct. It's not something we need to force here, is it?" For now, this method wasn't working on Vanessa. It seemed to crumble each time William attempted to use it, however it's all he's even known. He tried to hit her with some of his self-proclaimed facts. 

"Oh, Oh, you don't understand? Hmm... I wonder. It wasn't rape. I gave you my full consent, but it sure as hell felt like it. I had pain down there for a week. I was bleeding for 2 days. I felt absolutely disgusted and horrified. I'll come to you when I feel like giving you that chance." Only a lover can wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. 

The shouting was a violence in the air, a way to take the anger from Vanessa and transfer the tension in William. She didn't just raise her voice, her muscles tensed and she got right in close for maximum impact. 

"I am in no way overreacting, William. This is a big deal and you're goddamn ignorant to say otherwise. If you don't shut that trap of yours right now, I'm turning you off for a week. Maybe longer. Maybe upload some 'respect woman' and 'how to treat woman' software in your brain or something. Not another word! Dress up, now you only have ten minutes to get ready in something nice like you mean it."


	18. A truce

The lingering light was obliterated by the rapidly falling night. The once salmon and purple sky transformed into a vast expanse of jet-black that engulfed the town. A canopy of luminous stars materialized amongst the ocean of blackness. Some were dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there was an adequate amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark.

The moonlight was a diffuse ocean above them, lessening the inky blackness of the night, but not so bright as to dull the stars that speckled and glittered. 

William stood, a figure of power. The suit was the crimson color of red wine, sharp-looking, and well-fitted, cut to precision, bold across the shoulders, gentle lines around the waist, the perfect inverted triangle. Exactly the sort of thing that a woman would pick out for her man to wear to a formal event like this. It fit well, it made him look very handsome, and when he smiled, it was a little bit magical.

The sidewalk glistens under the moon. The tall metal streetlamps cast artificial glow onto the streets below, illuminating fallen leaves in garish yellow light. William walks along the sidewalk, The two of them step in time, both slow with both a lingering irritation of each other. Her chestnut hair has turned an unnatural color under the cold glow of the moon. 

She was truly a sight to behold. 

Her stunning lace dress is classy, elegant and flattering. Made for the heartbreaker, dream chaser, and love embracer. Features beautiful, dainty black lace, lace-back detailing and shorts as lining. The scalloped edge of the lace is carefully sewn on the dress for a high-end finish. The skirt is made in a luxurious ebony fabric with a subtle shine. The perfect dress for special occasions, dinner dates and formals all year long. Pair with crystal earrings and cute heels and all eyes are located on her. 

Both refused to speak. 

On the outside, William and Vanessa appeared as a beautiful and well functioning couple, however the hatred of their fight lingered. 

Out of the corner of William's eye, he spotted a group of street performers. Street performance or busking is the act of performing in public places for gratuities. In many countries the rewards are generally in the form of money but other gratuities such as food, drink or gifts may be given.

Music fills the air without effort. Some react to the beat, others continue in chatter, but always it speaks to them in some manner. A lively tempo can lift them, elevate the spirit, or move them to dance, whilst a slow one can relax the mood. Street music brought life to the otherwise concrete experience of the city. 

The scenery looked like a situation right out of a musical. 

When William heard the music it was like liquid adrenaline being injected right into his bloodstream - not so strong as to freak him out, but just enough to make him tingle and start to move his body. His movements flowed with a dazzling grace that took away the breath of every person in his audience. There could be an audience of a million strong, William would be okay with that. He was always typically loud, energetic and boisterous, close to obnoxious. 

William starts with a hum, tousled brown hair. His hum has a happiness; there's something carefree about the notes as they fall into the salty air about him. Humming was a soothing sound, dulcet tones creating a wordless melody, accompanying the rhythm of the street music. 

He dropped his eyes momentarily before looking in Vanessa's direction, his head tilted to one side and a hopeful smile playing on his lips. Vanessa's eyes flew open as a row of heads turned to face her. They had gained an audience. They clapped, and William's eyes flickered between each person's gaze. She was embarrassed. He hadn't meant to do it, she could tell by the look of mild shock on his face and by his cheeks that flushed pink. 

But William didn't dislike the attention. People obviously adored his little theatre performance.

His red cheeks, sad puppy eyes seemed too genuine to be fake. Vanessa figured.. that maybe he truly did feel sorry for his actions. William Afton was such a difficult man to understand. And yet, why was William such a damned theatre kid, for him to stand in the middle of a crowd and dance. It truly shows his nature for performance. The girl uncomfortably took a few steps back, "you know I can't dance, Will. I definitely can't dance in front of so many people." She sunk in for a little bit, feeling forced and as if her confidence cracked under the inevitable pressure. 

"Follow my lead, Vanny. We danced before." He whispered to her, Vanessa could feel the slight exhale of his breath against her neck. His hand reaches for mine and they interlock. Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free. She felt her body press in, soft and warm. "I don't want to fight with you, Vanessa. Tell me how I could make it up to you. I don't want to argue. I stand behind my every word." His warm breath passes over Vanessa's ear, to which she wrinkles her nose in protest. William wrapped her in a warm swaddle of his chest and arms, gently nudging her in every direction the music took them. 

The street started to fill with more people. Couples started dancing as well, crowding the same around them. William made sure his words were only for Vanessa to hear. 

"I know I often swing you left and right, Vanessa. Empty promises mean nothing, I am aware. However, I will truly try to be better. I can be better." 

Vanessa loved his moves, his stability, and his facial expressions. William got all of it balanced. He hit the beat sharply, his movements have that fierce and stern feeling. In short, he’s sharp. It had a beauty that fit him. 

Every fibre of his being craved maximum attention, and if wasn't getting it there was a problem. 

With his ability to speak loudly and exude more confidence than he should, he invariably found himself as the leader. He wasn't just a raw extrovert though, there was a softer side to him. Even with the quietest of people he was able to forge a connection. It was like he could turn his own dial right down whenever the need arose.

As the music got louder William's grin got wider, wider until Vanessa thought it would split his face in two. The more the bodies pulsed around us, the more his eyes became electric and his hands became a frenzy of action.

"Believe me, I don't want to fight either, but sometimes I have to in order to get through your thick skull. I'm not an easy target, okay? I'm not easy to manipulate. I'm with you, because I want to be. I'm done with the world and it's society. I'm probably mental for wanting to be with you, you manipulative bastard. I just wish you would be good to me. I don't want you to put every blame on me. I don't want you to tell me that I'm overreacting and have no right to be angry. We can't just stop arguing when nothing is solved. You are selfish, William." most people carefully plan out what they’re going to say or wear during important events, however Vanessa just let it go. She allowed her voice to simply roll out. "I want you to treat me like any lady would love to be treated. Kiss me, hold me.. tell me sweet nothings and listen to me. I want to hear your problems. I want you to put yourself in my shoes and think. Surprise me! Just.. at least try. I know it's difficult, considering who you are and your past. I'm here to stay. Talk to me more often." She loosened up in his arms, breaking her own walls down once again to lay bare before him. "I'm still mad, but thank you. This is more of a solid apology." Somewhere deep down, people would still call her naive. Despite her better judgement, she wanted to help him heal. 

In that simple moment he wrapped his arms around her just a fraction tighter and Vanessa let her head rest upon his chest. All her thoughts stopped as if her heart took over from her head every time they were close. Next he would squeeze as if he needed to check she was really there with him, really there and really real... and Vanessa was, body and soul. 

"I'm learning. I'm more comfortable in crowded spaces. I used to panic, being surrounded by so many people and sounds. Even now, I question my own sanity. Is what I'm seeing truly real, or am I still locked in tight within that metal suit, in that same old dusty hallway, kept within that amusement attraction for lost souls." 

"Hey, you are doing better!" The girl wore a frown, Backing away in order to face the male with her hands located on his cheeks. "You're more than real. The people out there are more than real. The air you're breathing is real. These hands-" The girl stopped momentarily, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks. "-these hands are real." He has weaponised his emotional indifference, abusing rather than cherishing her loving emotions. But then, William switches to such honesty and genuine emotions. It makes Vanessa confused with what to believe. Threats of hateful things are spoken as if he were ordering food from a takeaway menu. The next second he's completely compassionate. 

The girl gently leans her head against his, her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. Her body squirms just a little as her muscles relax. There is something about that gaze of his she'll never find in another man. "My forehead against yours is real. As for-" She halted in-between her sentence, moving up on her tiptoes, until there was barely a distance of an inch. His eyes were gazing into hers like he was looking far beyond, then switched to her lips and now Vanessa knows what he's thinking about. She leans her head closer to William, and her lips meet his. Gentle, but passionate. "That.. was also very real. I'm real, right beside you. You've gained your very own personal stalker, Afton. My anger is also real, but we can work it out. Together. When in doubt, I will ground you. I will make you return to our reality."


	19. Fancy dinner with just him

The lighting was dim and the air was thick with the scents of so many different foods. After a long walk, both William and Vanessa were more than happy to arrive. 

The restaurant was full. They looked around at the busy tables. An old couple eating side by side, one glass of wine each, studiously bent over their meals. A group of young women in their thirties collapsing with helpless giggles as a stern woman dining alone nearby looked on and frowned. Businessmen in their grey suits. American tourists, trying to decipher the menu. A family and their teenage children. The noise level was high. 

"We didn't book a reservation, did we?" 

"William Afton.. do I look like an idiot to you?" The girl spoke, her expression one of bewilderment, "step aside." She handled the conversation, and the two of them were led to their seats. The hunger Vanessa had felt before has been replaced by a rising feeling of unwellness in her stomach and below the clack of her heels her heart beat pounds it's own quickening rhythm. Vanessa was about to be alone with just William. No one else. Love is not self-sustaining but requires constant maintenance. We can often get stuck on surface-y conversations but need to work hard at diving deep into heart level conversations. William was such a secretive man. 

"How about.. we look through the menu together? Maybe we can share? That way.. we could both experience two dishes?" She let herself soak in the ambient music for a few moments, wondering what the words were and drinking in the fragranced air. Her eyes stayed on William, watching his every move. Filet Mignon, Seared Scallops Infused with Flavored Butter, Skillet steaks, sugar slice Salmon.. the possibilities were endless. Vanessa wasn't even sure.. what William's taste was in food. 

William and Vanessa settled upon a lobster meal. This lobster tail recipe is a decadent dinner made with large lobster tails smothered with a buttery garlic herb sauce then broiled under high heat making these lobster tails tender and juicy. The ultimate indulgence! Their second dinner decision was a seafood pot. A true fishy evening. Accompanied by a glass of wine, William was ready to likely wine and dine Vanessa, as wine is most often seen as the elixir of lovers.

"And now we wait... So, William.. I want to know you a little better. What's your story?" Despite their previous fight, all Vanessa wanted was to be close enough to William for his musky scent to make her brains swim with a heady intoxication. He looks her way, almost able to keep the grin from his face. She planned to make him work for it, though. The romantic bond is from one heart to another, one mind to another, one soul to another. "May I know more about your perspective? As for our current situation.. there is no way you are still after remnant, right? There must be more you thrive for." 

"Darling, I'm still running on nothing but remnant. Without it, my body is a mere puppet. Remnant remains ever so important." Bitterly cold and humid - such an enchanting combination.

And in his words are a kindness, a concern that is so quick that, for him, it is natural. It flows, with listening and intelligent responses. Vanessa guesses that's what happens when two people meet and connect. 

The lighting was dimmed, making the two of them feel more free to express their feelings. There is a thick relationship between eyes and human behaviour. Our behaviour, intention and mood can be easily judged by the size of the pupil of our eyes. The pupil dilates or contracts depending upon the person's attitude and mood. When someone becomes excited, his pupils can dilate up to four times their normal size. Conversely, an angry, negative mood causes the pupils to contract to what are commonly known as ‘beady little eyes’ or ‘snake eyes’. For this reason, most romantic restaurants are dimly lit. 

"Perhaps.. we should start with something happier. If you could hold on to just one memory for the rest of your life, what would it be? Can you recall an important memory?" 

William looks downward briefly and then says, "I can think of a few things.. for instance, I can vividly remember my baby girl being born. I never cared for a daughter. Sons are more important, sons bring me achievements." He nods and takes a sip of his drink, offering no ongoing conversation of his own, "However, I still know that sense of pride and excitement upon the sight of my one and only daughter. Elizabeth changed that perspective." He surprised Vanessa as he hurried to add. It is the smiles, the gentle shrugs and the light in his eyes. It was a moment to savour. "As for another significance.. I suppose meeting Henry and opening our very own restaurant was special." 

Even the silences were comfortable. 

For a second there Vanessa grew frustrated. William spoke of his children similar to a trophy. This may mean the man used to pressure and push the child to overachieve as a way to lift his own sense of self to himself and in front of others. William cares less about his child’s mental health needs and more about a sports prize, honor roll status, or degree. It made her angry, however William corrected himself. Despite that, the idea resumed to live in the back of her mind. 

A son will provide. A son will carry forward the name of the family. A girl grows up and gets married in another family, and generally she doesn’t use the surname of her father but uses the surname of her husband. So, if there is no male child in the family, then that family name will come to an end with the death of the existing family members.

Fortunately, William continued his speech. 

"Who knew you had such a sweet side to you, hm?" It hit Vanessa. William seemed proud. It was a genuine endearing moment, and thus Vanessa smiled. In return, William's mouth gives up on the stoicism, breaking into a boyish grin. "Oh, yes. Henry.. He was your best friend, wasn't he? You loved the restaurant. You both did. Performing.. you loved that. It's really in your blood, being a performer I mean." 

His eyes, they were glistening with the twinkle of laughter that once she loved. Now, they fell to the ground, while his lips formed a straight line. 

"Yes. Henry. Oh, I adored that man, but I despised him even more. He always managed to stand in our spotlight, casting a shadow over me." William Afton hated it when Henry became successful. We may never admit it outright, but there’s an undercurrent of envy and gossip that exists within all of us. 

Envy makes us feel ugly for experiencing it. It’s an emotion we want to make go away as quickly as possible. Or better yet, be able to stay above it in the first place.

It came as a surprise, William's brutal honesty. His eyes held a pure, fierce hatred. A murderous intent. 

"I wanted to be that man's downfall." 

There was a flush of shame, his face fell into an expression Vanessa had never associated with his features before. She stared, until her conscious mind asserts control again. "But weren't you a wonderful performer? People must've come from afar, just to see such a wonderful place." Vanessa spoke with a fraction of hope. She wanted to brighten the male his mood. His facial expression was one of absolute disdain, however flattery was a weakness. "Can I ask you about Spring Bonnie? The yellow suit that was your character?" The corners of his lips twitched upward, and he's almost smiling - smiling as if something good were about to happen. "The good times, right Afton?"

"You're absolutely right, love. That is a much preferred subject. Despite Henry's amazing ability to perform, my movements were smoother. Perhaps, that's to blame on the fact Fredbear was likely heavier than my bunny.. I loved that suit. Kids were obsessed with us. They always wanted to stay, refusing even their own homes. I felt seen. I finally received the acknowledgement I deserved." 

Vanessa indulged in their moment. He called her love, such a pleasant nickname. 

It means that he is attracted to her, saying it naturally because he cares about her. "Whoa! Whoa! Okay, but calm down there. Didn't that suit hurt you? It was dangerous, being equipped with spring locks and all. Even with fabric there was a heightened possibility of a failure, wasn't there? Does that mean- were you.. you know? Ehm, naked?" Her thought was embarrassing, the idea too shameful, taboo. 

Heat licked at her blossoming cheeks, and coiled around her limbs like a great hot-blooded serpent. 

"The springlocks! They must've hurt-" Vanessa rushed to change the subject, masking her embarrassment. Sometimes the girl truly caused her own demise, if only she thought-out her words before she spoke them. 

Of course, William already caught on. In reality, he should be the ashamed one. 

"Uh, yeah.. I was.. naked in that suit. For the sole reason to prevent failure. As for the pain I experienced during the failures.. it wasn't pretty. It happened twice, to be exact." The words tumbled from his lips, like little pebbles onto sand. He hurried his sentences, visibly uncomfortable. 

Vanessa suddenly doubled herself up and burst into a loud, harsh cackle of laughter. She was in that state of intoxication when she could find no release from maddening laughter. "No way!" The girl leans close, enough for only William to hear, "you're telling me.. you were naked in an animatronic fursuit, surrounded by kids?" And thus, Vanessa started again. She dissolves into a puddle of laughter and William can see her stomach shaking as she fights a new gale of giggles. "Oh, what's next? You liked the way it felt?! Don't tell me.. since, you know? You loooove the suit- oh, you nasty little man!"

William was mortified, frozen to the spot. He couldn't believe this had happened, and in front of everybody too. He stood soaking in the cruel laughter, he'd never live this down as long as he'd live. Likely nobody heard what Vanessa was saying, but the lady still gained everyone's attention. Vanessa would definitely remind him daily about this. 

"Be quiet." It felt like someone had suddenly turned on an internal heater inside William's system, and his pale skin slowly turned from a ghastly white to the shade of a ripe strawberry. The giggle that rumbled out of her throat made William stare at her, eyes widened. "You are clearly taking this out of context. Get your mind out of the gutter, Vanny. This procedure was necessary. A springlock failure isn't something to mess around with.." 

Vanessa's laughter slowly came to an end. loud to soft, to nothing at all

"I couldn't help it. It was funny! Will, you should see your face. Oh man.. but I understand." She slowly calmed down, her face still flush and her breathing more steady. "Please, what happened the first time.. the springlocks went off?" Vanessa continued more seriously, "is this a good time to talk about this? You seem worried, you're frowning. Will you tell me more about yourself?" William was never immediately forthcoming with his thoughts and emotions, it is important to remember that he may still be having an emotional reaction and is just adept at hiding those emotions from her. 

"That is fine." 

“So…” he said, stopping to take a deep breath. He let it all out in one sigh, "I managed to get out the first time.. only for the sole reason of Henry being by my side. That, and the hospital. I used to have scars, marking every inch of skin and reminding me of my failure. However, I figured with a new body.. I might as well disregard them. It could be suspicious for other people, anyway. I wanted a fresh start. That's why they are currently gone."

As humans, many of us loathe the idea of talking about the worst things that have happened to us. Discussing a painful experience can feel humiliating or terrifying.

There is something in the way Vanessa talks that gives her away, her keenness to seek information. Always it is the same, starting with a little patter to relax the other and then she's in with the question that's burning her brain. 

He would give her the answer she hoped to hear. The words tumbled slowly and cautiously out of his mouth, each one wrapped in a heavy voice. "The ripping of flesh surprised me. I remember how I took care of the bunny head first, due to the more severe danger. My eyes fell upon the parents with their children before me. Once I realized what had happened, I panicked. I remember how I trembled, and how my eyes started to water. My body felt hot and sweat started trickling down my neck. I knew what was coming. I heard a sound, an indication that metal would soon pierce through me. The knowing doesn't soften the blow. The spring locks impaled my body. Sharp pain lanced through my head and colorful spots flashed in front of my eyes, it felt like my whole body had been ripped apart and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache. Blood was slowly oozing out of numerous wounds." 

A waiter interrupted the conversation, for he stood stiffly in his starched white shirt and black bow-tie. Both of his hands were occupied with dishes decorated with expensive food. 

He patiently waited for their attention.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" William Afton added, looking down his nose at her and sneering when he spoke.

"Will, that's not what I meant. I'm trying to understand you, the pain you went through. You suffered. At one point, it must've seemed like pure torture. Years of madness and suffering for you and the other souls." Most people thought of Vanessa as naive. For most people Vanessa was a crazy person for staying with William Afton, however William deemed her a godsend.

She felt sympathy for William Afton, but that doesn't mean she defends his past actions. As for herself, she wasn't normal or stable either. Vanessa thinks about murder many times in an ordinary day. She doesn't see it as something unimaginable or extremely terrible. Her moral compass doesn't have a problem with it. 

The difference is that Vanessa never needed to attempt such a thing. She doesn't have a reason. 

Well, that was.. until she met William Afton. 

"I won't let anyone near you, let alone hurt you." The girl confirmed with a loving smile.

Criminals are complicated. Something beyond their choice prevented them from having normal law abiding minds like the majority. Maybe they had bad genes, bad parents, teachers or something. But something took root and shaped them into what they are. Because it's not their fault they became what they are, some people believe they should be helped instead of punished. Some people go their whole lives as criminals because they can not break free of their fear of authority. They are too terrified to walk into a doctors office and ask for help, before they get themselves into trouble, or they are too deluded to know they are abnormal and they actually think there is nothing wrong with them. They are sadly afraid of the help they need.

That's the clear line between good and evil. 

Is this person willing to chance? Can this person accept their own incapabilities? 

Even if the act of hurting another brings you joy and satisfaction, the fact that you are aware of this means you can change. You can work on your own wretched desires. 

Are you conscious of your deeds, or not? 

William and Vanessa choose to be broken. They are two rotten souls, clinging to each other in a way of hopeless need. 

Yet, Vanessa wishes to believe in redemption. 

"Let's talk about something else, then? What is your most vivid childhood memory? What kind of kid were you? A troublemaker, I assume?" Vanessa refused to back down, her determination unbreakable. William is so quick to switch between neutral and anger, it is almost as though he is both his adult self and childish self simultaneously. As if he never fully managed to grow up, part of him was left behind in childhood. 

"My mum and I used to leave on a lot of adventures during the day. I was around the age of five for this story, where my mother took me to feed the ducks in a lake nearby." The happy memory comes as divine deja vu, sitting in William's synapses for a moment and resetting his mood to sunny days ahead. "The ducks were all being nice and taking the food from my hand, but there was a single goose there and he rushed up to me. It felt like he bit my hand off. It didn't break the skin or injure me in any way, however it was the first time that an animal had bitten or attacked me, and frankly it was kinda traumatizing." William laughed heartily. It wasn't a huge story for a big impact, simply the first thing the male could think of. 

"And what about you, Vanny? What is your first and most vivid memory?" 

He oozed an effortless charm whenever he spoke. William laughs, his deep chuckle lifting the spirit of the room. His face has a softness even when it comes to rest. There is a specific love for the one close to your pumping heart. There is a word for your special person lingering in the back of your mind. And she loved him. She did. Possibly a naive decision, but who can make a wise decision when under the influence of true attraction? "How terrifying. What a story!" The girl replied with a smile, a teasing one. Still, Vanessa felt appreciative to know William felt comfortable sharing his past. It was a cute story. 

"As for my story..." The lighting was dim and the air was thick with the scents of so many different foods. Vanessa could barely think over the heavy chatter of other customers. "I had to learn how to take care of myself, how to deal with my own problems and not lean on anyone, to learn how to fix myself alone after each painful fall, to find the road to real wellness. However, I wasn't always like that. There was a time, long ago.. where I could still be a kid. My parents never celebrated birthdays, so I never had a proper birthday. A friend of mine, together with her mum, went all out to throw me a surprise party. Just for me. If I were to recall a good memory.. I'd be that one." 

Vanessa admired everything about him, from his soft british lilt to his voice to his dark eyes. He demanded every ounce of her being and then a little bit more. She could hardly believe the real William Afton was in front of her at times. 

"But are you happy now, Vanny?" 

His question cut through her string of thoughts with precision. Stuck in a trance like state, she stared at his dark eyes that were completely void of emotion. He smirked and continued, "I'm not.. exactly happy with my existence. I'm not satisfied. Vanny..? I'm somewhat human again. I'm here again. I'm alive. Why do I still not feel satisfied with my existence? Why do I.. still crave more?" She felt emotionally paralyzed, all of her thoughts were in a mental traffic jam. 

"I mean, I'm immortal.. but you, Vanessa. You will die." A smile stretched further on his thin lips, and the ambience dropped. "Are you truly happy with that idea in your mind? In the end.. your existence is meaningless and you will disappear." Nothing could go wrong now. The ritual had been perfect, all he had to do now was sit tight and wait for her. 

"With my help, that can change. Think about it, Vanny." 

William felt like his good deeds meant he was a good person, and his bad deeds were justified. In truth he never thought before he acted or spoke, he never stopped to ask himself if his response was the right one, or merely the first knee-jerk reaction that sprung to mind. Whatever he said was almost never true, or at least it was only "true" for him.

The narcissist loses that battle every day, always choosing to use their primitive "me first" instincts over the more highly evolved self controlled, empathic and giving self. 

"Meaningless?" The girl spoke, and he hurt her on purpose with that refined look of innocence he has. "That is.. suspicious, even to me. William, this is a date. You're ruining the mood again. I'm quite sure you brought that topic up before.. you're acting really weird." Vanessa was the leading lady of all of his dramas until she glimpsed the curtains and the stage lights. She spotted the repetition of his themes, of his script. Really, William should have diversified more. Vanessa started to see a pattern. 

"As long as my existence means something to you." 

Vanessa gave William her heart for free, but that shouldn't have made it worthless. It was priceless. 

The descent of absolute silence, his voice came, "that's not what I meant." William could read her faster than a tweet. The smile - anxious - she was eager to please him, however something in that emotion told him of an irritation. A disappointment. He stared at her for a moment, then let his usual charm drop. "I want to bring you closer to eternal life." 

Vanessa sat across from him directly looking into his eyes. She gave him a dauntless look and he finally broke off from her glare and looked down. "Continue." She crossed her legs and laid the palms of her hands flat on the table.

"Quite frankly, I dislike the idea of your impending death." He ran his hand through his hair, a common habit that was done when he was nervous. "Yes." He said in one breath. "I hate it." 

Vanessa tapped her fingers on the table one following the other, hurrying him to finish his story. 

"I'm only asking about your opinion," came the ending to his description, and Vanessa knew he wasn't planning to enlighten her further. 

Even with those honest words, the brain filters what it wants to hear, what the heart can bear without shattering anew. His honest eyes bored into hers as if trying to convince her he was not lying. 

Vanessa came to recognize William's behavioral tactics. She was able to recognize his fake sincerity. At the moment, the man seemed to be genuine with her. He showers common habits of his anxiety, distress and nervousness. It was a relief to know William simply didn't know how to communicate his inner thoughts and fears. After all, William was quite horrible at communicating ever since the beginning. He lacked perception of body language. "You really can't read the mood, huh? Nor have any sense of sensitivity, but.. I guess it's somewhat sweet that you dislike the idea of me being gone. It's explained oddly, but I can decipher it and think of it as a positive attitude. Thank you?" Her eyes were filled with a kindness that seemed so innocent and genuine so endless: as big as the sea. It set him alight and made him happy. Her lands lapsed with him holding them for a second and squeezing kindly. A deeper understanding. 

She needs to teach him how to speak in a way that reduces fear inside other people. The love is there, just hiding. They need to break the love out. 

She was starting to put all of the singular puzzle pieces together. 

Their evening was coming to an end. The plates were empty, and the other tables at the restaurant were slowly becoming more and more empty. Closing hours were upon them. As the couple stepped back into the cold air of the fallen night, Vanessa spoke up. "Besides a few bumps on the road, I had fun. I hope you did, too." She silences herself by pressing her lips to his. "Thank you, William." 

She kisses him despite her claim that she is still angry with him and he knows they will be okay. It is that burst of love that is expressed. At this moment, here at the busy intersection, cars rushing past, the passersby melt away, the traffic too, and the moment is theirs. For the kiss it's as if they've been transported somewhere heavenly. Right now he's relaxed, and that can only mean good things. It means that whatever is going on in his head is unlikely to derail the current plan.

Each building jutted into the darkening sky as if it had been drawn on with charcoal.

However, the buildings weren't the only silhouette within their view. A man stands not too far away from them. As he strolls toward the light of the street lights, he's all broad shoulders and strong limbs, his characteristic soft expression waiting for the golden illumination to to tumble onto his skin.

"William..? You told me his name was Wilfred."


	20. Trigger

"William..? You told me his name was Wilfred." 

Vanessa turns slowly, not even bothering to hide her surprise. She examines the person before her, and comes to a quick solution. It was Luis. For the first time since she found William her face was completely fallen, no mask of coping left. 

Shit.. 

"Are you stalking me, Luis?" Obviously his appearance at this exact moment was suspicious. Vanessa wouldn't dare look at William. The girl already had a feeling what sort of bad weather expression could be on his face. 

Each passing moment only leads to the next. She can feel the fear in her chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect her, but there really isn't any danger. It sits there like an angry ball propelling her towards an anxiety she just doesn't need.

"Ness, I'm saying this out of concern. Ever since this.. man showed up, you have been acting strange. You suddenly quit your job.. I mean, what happened? Who is he?" 

Vanessa let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen her body. The stress prevented her from thinking rational. Her eyes moved with the alertness that comes from heavy stress and her hands remained clenched by subconscious demand.

Her mind dissociated. 

Vanessa felt disconnected from herself and the world around her. She felt detached from her body. Even with her utmost focus, their voices weren’t entering her ears and her brain wasn’t comprehending them. 

The only thing keeping her grounded was a deep, raspy voice. 

"Vanessa, you know what you must do. He knows too much, he's too infested." 

There is a subtle difference that can be easily overlooked, but it is there. There are hundreds of everyday words that are different. She knows that accent, adding mystery, when she catches his accent sneaking through, it's thrilling. 

It was rather easy to forget William's ability of mind transference. 

She nudged the male in a different direction, compared to Luis. "We should get going," Vanessa hurried to add, at least before things escalated. 

Of course things escalated. They always did. 

"William Afton..?" Luis' voice caught their attention once more. Already the adrenaline coursing unchecked, urging the body to do what it cannot.

Vanessa's legs felt like they were no longer hers, and she began to tremble the same way she did in deep winter cold. The both of them stopped dead. On the other hand, Vanessa could hear William's pulse banging in her ears. Sweat was dripping down his back. The adrenalin flew over his veins like a carp through the river.

Vanessa tried to return the smile, but her lips barely twitched. 

"I'm not an idiot. I worked at the same company as you, Ness. The guy looks like an exact replica of.. that character, as far as I'm aware. And now you're calling him William? Are you kidding me, Ness?" Vanessa waited for him to throw his fit. Then he did. 

William's constricted feelings grow, as if he's strangled by just the air about him. In the grip of silent panic, he wanted to interfere. Vanessa could see it clearly in his eyes. She knew she had to protect William. "Don't worry, Afton." She tried to calm his nerves, fortunately for her their minds were linked, causing a way of communication just between the two of them.

Vanessa took a step towards Luis, a vein almost popping in her temple and her fists tightly clenched. The man stayed right where he was. "How dare you?! You're ACTUALLY calling him a murderer?!" The bark of her voice even surprised her. "We both know William Afton had countless scars covering his body, because of a spring lock failure." She yanked William forward by his arm, and forcefully rolled up his sleeve all the way to his shoulder. "Oh! No scars! No, yeah. Also, William Afton has been dead for YEARS! And yet, Wilfred looks young. You're seriously schizophrenic. Guess what?! It's not him!" Her words crashed out unchecked, unaltered. Meanwhile, William looked at her through wide eyes, his mouth slightly open. 

"I called him William, because I was thanking his father for paying for this fancy night out. He arranged dinner for just the two of us. We had a great time, until you came along. Get lost, you disappoint me." Her every word was clipped, punching into the air. She jabbed the air with a pointed finger at each utterance, her eyes narrowed and set hard. 

In the end, she got the old colleague to leave. Luis swallowed, breathing heavily then, unable to digest defeat in the hands of a stranger in Vanessa's life. 

"How'd I do?" 

With her glare still fixated on Luis, she asked William for confirmation. 

"I'm impressed. Well done." 

Less questions were asked on their way home. Their legs keep asking them to rest, to find somewhere warm and cozy. "I would love to.. get in bed as soon as we get home. I'm exhausted. Let's head to bed, unless.. something is still on your mind?" This need to rest has been growing in Vanessa's bones, and the muscles that always wanted to run are asking so very powerfully not to. 

"I'm fine," he murmured absently, his eyes shifting to the window. He's one more blow away from breaking. Something complex was tearing the man down from within. William was clearly troubled, but refusing to talk about it. The dreadful exhaustion could be the cause. 

A good night's sleep would fix it, Vanessa figured. An unwise decision. 

This brain feels as if it's been on a treadmill and it wants so much to press stop. Her body needs to feel another body, to cuddle, to feel safe, to feel the warmth of a lover. Everything about her, from the muscular aches to the emotional pull towards William, it overwhelms - yet this. 

Chest rising and falling rhythmically, slow breathing, warm under duvet. Well, until Vanessa felt a shift underneath the blankets, accompanied by the loss of a warmth coming from another body. Her eyes opened slowly, resting upon a tired-eyed William. "You are.. worried about Luis, aren't you?" But at the moment he can't meet her eye. "Hey, Will?" She made him face her, the simple touch sent a wave of butterflies coursing through his veins, their fluttering wings easing the dread that had settled inside him even for a little bit. "Look at me, William. Don't stop looking in my eyes. It's just the two of us, and nothing can tear us apart. This petty man can't get between us, okay?" She could soothe him like no-one else, even her own breaths were deep and even. It was impossible to stay anxious or upset with Vanessa around. "You look tired." She moved close to the other, all the way until her plump but soft lips touched near his eyes, causing them to flutter just slightly in response. "And now keep them closed. Come on, let's sleep first? We can talk about it tomorrow." 

Then as his eyelids became heavy and drooped, she pulled him back down on the pre-warmed bed. Her heartbeat echoed in his ears as she held him close, creating a great comfort. Vanessa watched closely, until the man fell asleep. Which eventually he did, noticeably from his slow breaths and loose muscles. 

As the morning arrived, The egg yolk sun poured through the cracks in the blinds and awaited entrance into William's eyes. However the reason for his slumber to come to an end, was caused by a disturbance in the air. There were a lot of different sounds, as he hesitantly rubbed the dreams away. 

The bed was empty except for him. Vanessa was long gone. 

William's muscles felt weak, just like his energy. He let out an exasperated sigh, and got out of bed in order to follow the noises. 

The noises engulfed him, completely capturing his brain, rendering any logical thought or conclusion impossible. Clatter, clang, squeak and William grew annoyed. 

Behind a closed door, he found his lover located on the ground, surrounded by multiple objects that made no sense to him. Mostly in situations such as this one, William left Vanessa alone to her own crazy. "Goodmorning," the man spoke in a raspy voice, taking in the sight before him. A cream colored fabric lay on the floor around her, together with more cotton, foam and wires. 

As he walks in, Vanessa's blood wakes up her brain, though she thought herself already awake. Her smile grows of its own accord, and with a bounce in her step she walks towards him. As she leaned forward, William's pulse raced. His eyes close, head tilts upward. William expected a kiss. However, the peck he received was the kind one would give to a little brother. A mere kiss on his cheek. Simple though it may be, a kiss on the cheek is special in its own, unique way. "Get out, Afton. There's nothing to see here." 

He immediately got the feeling his partner was hiding something. He wanted to trust his gut and drop his suspicions. It's unnecessary to assume the worst. Vanessa appeared to be in an incredible good mood, so that could only mean the best. 

Despite everything, William noticed her tired eyes. Who knows how early that woman got out of bed to start working on this so-called surprise? And so, William returned to her shortly again, this time with a graceful knock. It wasn't a long visit. The air is thick with the scent of coffee, which makes Vanessa realize quickly that William returned to give her a freshly brewed cup of coffee. 

"Don't worry! I'm not looking at what you're doing. I'll wait in the living room for when you're done, love. There's something we need to discuss." 

For William, time seemed to pass ever so slowly. Our experience of time is flexible; it depends on attention, motivation, the emotions and more. The man was sitting on the couch, waiting, with absolutely no means of entertainment. All he did, and in his mind could do, was wait. 

The emotions we feel in the moment directly affect our perception of time. Negative emotions in particular seem to bring time to people’s attention and so make it seem longer.

Of course, in the end Vanessa's door opened. Her bright eyes seemed disoriented, afraid of their conversation that was about to come. 

She wanted to avoid this topic. 

"Luis, right? That's what you want to talk about, isn't it?" The girl asked, carefully. Deep in her heart, she hoped he would tell her no. Say what you will about history’s monsters, they had to overcome a lot of powerful neural wiring to commit the crimes they did. The human brain is coded for compassion, for guilt, for a kind of empathic pain that causes the person inflicting harm to feel a degree of suffering that is in many ways as intense as what the victim is experiencing. Somehow, that all gets decoupled. "William.. I'm supposed to take his life. That's.. scary. He has a family, William! Loving parents, cheerful siblings.. they're waiting for him to visit. I met his mother.. Luis has always been so nice to me." 

After meeting Luis last night, William found himself too fired up to think straight. Once the fear took hold of the primitive part of his brain, it ruled him, locking him down into survival mode. "You did not bring me back, for your own fear to put me back in my grave." His anger is cold and quiet, he seemed to have no sense of humanity. His heart seemed to be made of stone, the way he spoke of their crime. "Your actions based on your emotions will lead you to break down. Luis is the perfect candidate, but if you were to fail, we would be pulled apart. With enough evidence against us, and you as a suspect.. it would mean our demise. You are my only hope, Vanessa. I can't allow you to let me down." 

Vanessa can feel the cage closing in, the sealing off any viable exit. 

The fear is a weight on her ribs and a dull ache in her eyes, Vanessa can double down on her efforts for a victory or sit back and be prey - sheep or lion - her choice, her path.

"I can take over." 

William promised, tired of waiting for Vanessa to disappoint him. His seemingly faithful promise carried an evil guarantee. 

William always seemed to lack empathy. Those experiences can leave Vanessa feeling frustrated, unsettled, angry, disappointed, and even betrayed, mainly when she needs support. Additionally, Empathy is one of the defining characteristics and foundational pieces of emotional intelligence. 

His anger is not about her. Vanessa needs to remind herself that William is the one that has a problem connecting emotionally with others at a deeper level. 

It was almost sad, really. 

"William, I know. However, that doesn't mean I'm not scared. I'm doing this myself, mainly to feel the sympathy Luis deserves. I need to feel guilty. You're supposed to feel bad.. after abruptly taking someone's whole future away." William was always surrounded by a negative energy. 

"I will get ready."


	21. The end of Luis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for graphic details about murder.

"It's your decision on how you wish to get rid of the body." 

Then came his chilling voice. Sunken, milky white eyes stared with mindless menace into hers. Vanessa thought about his question, she rationalized and viewed the problem from different viewpoints. Vanessa thought of making it into a soup with the muscle, but that would leave the bone and guts; she thought of stuffing it into a freezer she would dump on a mountain or a snowy area, but that would involve too much driving. Vanessa could feed it to a hungry tiger or lion, but where would she find one in the city? The only place with a big cat would be the zoo with its many ever-watching security cameras. This left burying it and burning it, however burying could leave the corpse intact for years. That's the problem with murder, if they find the tiniest hint, they'll latch onto it until some more information spills lose. Plus burning it would be problematic, attracting attention. Vanessa knew that the cops would be on her back in no time, there would always be one fingerprint, DNA left behind, a footprint or a witness. 

"I will bury him.." 

William seemed pleased with her answer. A satisfaction, as if having completed a deeply, personally needed action; expressed by the slightest curve at the mouth's corner and a youthful confidence worn in a light raise of the eyebrow above a quizzical, joyful eye. "Good. Be aware of cameras, leaving fingerprints and.. keep him quiet. Don't make a ruckus." 

The two of them stopped walking in front of a set of buildings containing many apartments. The buildings galloped up the clouds. 

"It's time, Vanny. I put all of my faith in you. I will wait right here for you. Try to appear casual, instead of suspicious. Especially when you meet me back here." 

Vanessa felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in her abdomen as she stepped within the building. Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying William's words. The stairs ahead were twisted in a perfect spiral, like a child's slinky toy pulled from each end. Each step was a deep walnut. Vanessa took a deep breath before placing even some of her weight on the lowest step and kept her hands clear away from the rail. The squeak did not surprise her, but it was immediate and loud, if there was anyone upstairs they now knew she was here. 

Once in front of Luis' door, she dreadfully raised her fist in order to knock. 

William believes in her. He trusts her. His future is now within her hands. If she wanted to, Vanessa could easily betray him. She can be honest with Luis, and possibly live a normal life again. She fought to keep herself empathic, even as every terrible thing she had predicted came true.

But did she want a normal life? 

The door before her swung open, revealing the boy she knew oh so well. Luis appeared, his skin kissed golden over the light muscles of his arms, freckles darkening over the bridge of his nose. "Ness?" He was more distant, compared to normally. Which was understandable after their last time. 

"I haven't been.. a good friend. Let me make it up to you over a cup of tea?" 

His gaze turned downward. She was rather petite and dainty. Delicate, if you will. Men were quick to decide that she needed protection. With just a little more charm switched on, Luis was in her grasp. 

And thus, the male stepped aside. 

Vanessa walks into the room like the floor will give out under her tiny body mass. Every step is so light that she makes no sound at all. 

There was stillness on both sides. When Luis opened the door there was something that made Vanessa nervous. It could have been a tincture of the wrong aroma, or the temperature being too cold - like a window had been opened in her absence. She wasn't sure. Her instinct told her to run, call William, ask him to come. 

Luis seemed to be distracted, when Vanessa took the butter knife and slid it up her sleeve for later. It wasn't the steak knife she's been hoping for, but given enough force behind it into some soft region would get the job done. 

She weighed the knife in her hand. It was no heavier than a kitchen blade but would cut on first contact, even with minimum pressure.

Every muscle on Vanessa's face tightens, eyes narrowed, chin jutted outward. 

"Ness? What's.. wrong?" 

Vanessa lunged, so efficient with her own body. The knife met flesh, soft and pudgy, and made a satisfying squish as the tip of the blade sank deep enough to make her victim scream. Vanessa twisted the blade in her hands, all the while sinking it deeper and deeper. His skin was tearing to shreds as the knife rotated, the sound of his muscles and nerves being gouged growing louder. "What the- Ness...?" 

Luis tried to steady himself, trying to comprehend what was going on around him. "Why did you-" His body felt as if Luis had been bruised in every corner. His legs felt shaky and could not support his body, yet his head was the only thing that was feeling heavy. Luis placed his hands on the counter and arched his back as the pain was rushing through his body like an igniting fire. His eyes squeezed closed as his face contorted. "It's.. him, isn't it?" The man barked. Then, without warning, Vanessa jerked it all the way into his back, until the shiny metal had disappeared inside him and the black handle was pushing against his broken skin.

Vanessa didn't want to hear it. 

She knew what Luis had to say. She knew what kind of speech was coming. 

Warm blood gushes out of the exposed wounds. Luis pressed snugly against his opened wounds to stop the free flowing surge of sticky blood. 

"A man like.. whatever you call him, he will never be able to truly love you. He's not capable of love. Vanessa, you are a young and beautiful woman, with your whole life ahead of you." Warm blood gushes out of the exposed wounds. Luis pressed snugly against his opened wounds to stop the free flowing surge of sticky blood. How ironic.. even in his dying breath, Luis is trying to save her. 

As the life fluid drained out of him in it's garish red, his skin took on the pallor of a corpse. His stomach felt sick and then one by one Luis lost control of his limbs until finally his head slumped. The blood flowed like a lazy river. It flowed like so much red gravy across the slaughter house floor and down into the concrete gullies that interrupted the white tiled floor.

The screaming had stopped so very suddenly. One minute he was right in her face, more alive than he had ever been, and the next he was meat on the floor. 

Vanessa's gut lurched, and a churning mixture of digestive fluids and yesterday's dinner filled her mouth. She was too weak to behold her own work.

The nausea clawed at her throat, and she tried to force down the bile, but it was too late. Chunks of partially digested chicken spewed out of her coughing, choking mouth. Her stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Her face was white and dripping bile, sweat, and tears. She lurched forward and sunk to her knees. The pungent stench invaded her nostrils and she heaved even though there was nothing left to go.

It just dawned on her now that she killed a person. 

"Fuck..." The guilt sat not on her chest but inside her brain. What she had done she could not un-do. She could make amends in subtle ways, but confession was out of the question, "It had to be done, Luis. You got in his way.. I truly feel sorry for you." The guilt was like gasoline in her guts. Her insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt her out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person.

"Besides, I'm not done with you yet. I need to.. apply some changes." 

A good few hours passed, leaving William to grow nervous and impatient. He was about to take his first step and meet up with her, when Vanessa revealed herself in the door opening. The girl stepped outside, carrying three heavy bags filled to the brim with supposedly trash. 

Their eye contact was harsh. Something in her eyes changed. 

"I hope you're proud; it's all your handiwork." 

Vanessa's eyes landed on a mysterious car right behind William, and he seemed to immediately catch up on her thoughts. "I stole it." The man spoke, and not many more words were exchanged. 

Vanessa didn't bat an eye. Vanessa wasn't phased by William's action. Stealing a car was likely the least of his crimes. Without sharing another word, the two of them got in the stolen car. 

Gazing straight ahead, only half-aware of a world outside the claustrophobic comfort of the car. Without awareness of the road or the rain, the car moved over the highway, lights on full beam. The asphalt made such a smooth black river, the sort wheels float so effortlessly along. And so as their car made its steady way along, the scenery took on an almost meditative quality, the light igniting the hues of each tree and home, until the car moved through the wilderness. 

"I need you to finish one more task. I want to cover up our tracks, using a second victim. However, this one is an animal. The police find dug up ground, upon further investigation they find the corpse of a dead animal. Perhaps a dog. That settles all their suspicions." 

"You really are heartless, aren't you?" Vanessa said to him, watching the sparkle in his eyes fade with disappointment. It wasn't the response he'd been hoping for. "There is a dog breeder nearby. It's a little kennel run by an elderly couple. Getting a dog would be easy, however.. puppies are a no-go. I'm taking the oldest dog." 

It took quite a while for them to arrive, but as soon as they did, Vanessa grew more anxious. "I'm nervous.. is this really the best option?" The girl turned to the dog. His eyes are wider than a baby and he tilts his head one way and the other. She can't imagine what goes on in that over-protected cranium, but he wags his tail like he wants to take-off every time Vanessa even takes a mis-step in his direction. He looks like a labrador, possibly a pure breed. He looks like a guy who could run all day, and still be eager to go again. His jowls are almost grinning. He has the speed of a puppy, but his teeth are adult. "Isn't Luis.. easy to find?" 

The dog lay on the ground oblivious to the dirt that clogged its cream fur into matts.

"A search dog will not continue digging after finding an animal corpse." Even the trees seemed not to rustle as if they were tense with nerves for what was to come. Vanessa could describe it as creepy, but eerie was closer to it. "In honesty, it's not the most efficient way. One of my favourite methods is the use of a Black Soldier Fly farm. With this, you make a wooden box and put the body in there, covering it with some saw dust. You take an one to two gallon milk carts and put some dog shit in a plastic sandwich back and hang it inside carton with a hole cut in the side." William had all the emotion of wet concrete, his facial muscles just as loose. There was no anger, no sadness, no joy or resentment. "The flies will lay their eggs in a cluster on bits of cardboard that you have hanging inside. Drop that cardboard into the box with the dead body. Once you have a colony of flies, they will devour the entire body in just a few days if the colony is healthy enough. That's the beauty of using the milk carton. You can attract far more black soldier flies than might ordinarily gather on a body. The flies will clean the body, leaving nothing but bones. Then you just pound those bones into dust with a sledge hammer and dump them in the sewer." 

Frankly, it was disturbing to see William speak so unimpressed about a topic such as this, all the while he was digging a burial. The man observes Vanessa with the gaze of a stranger, that aloof judgement with no strings. 

"You really are messed up.." Every emotion is okay, helpful in the right situation, however sometimes the man just scares her. That refusal to smile, to show any warmth at all was his subtle form of emotional warfare, yet hardly fair at all. "William, I wonder.. I'm quite sure you were perfectly aware of the danger behind leaving me alone with Luis. What if I had told Luis everything about you, instead of going along with your plan? What if I had betrayed you back then?" His brain sparks, staring up at her in a short circuit of surprise. 

"I wanted to trust you." 

The scene was quite unbelievable, shocking really. Vanessa's mind was sent reeling, unable to comprehend or process William's confessed trust in her. Falling in love takes a lot of risk. In order to be in a truly emotionally fulfilling relationship, you need to be able to be vulnerable and allow another person in. For William that was a little scary. Vanessa, on the other hand, started to develop a passion. When a person is controlled by their passion, it's really more of an obsession. She grew so dependent on her relationship with William. She felt the need to protect her loved one at any cost. Most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives, because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like. 

It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is.

This, combined with the undeniable fact that currently William Afton is fragile, doesn't create a healthy mindset for Vanessa. The man is fragile in both body and mind. He was unstable, however the issue at hand that created a difficulty for Vanessa was the fact that the two of them could easily be ripped apart. He lacked proper control over his body, it not being his own body, after all. 

With the right information, anyone could destroy William, and his fragile soul would get lost in thin air.

Dirt slowly covered the remnants of Luis' face, his greyed flesh was torn. His deathly white skin pulled tight against his bones, his eyes open wide, staring bloody murder at Vanessa forever. 

As easily as that, Luis was gone. 

"I want to go home."


	22. Trust

The girl wanted nothing more than to lay down and be enveloped by the warmth of silence. From the sight of it, William Afton felt the same. As each limb becomes heavy and William's heart slows to a more peaceful beat, the comfort of bed calls. He cuddles in, feeling the rise and fall of his lover's chest, the rhythmic noise slowing his own breathing. His dark hair inches from her nose, Vanessa felt him go limp.

William usually wasn't very affectionate. Usually Vanessa was the instigator.

Hugging is very upfront and personal.

Now only silence lingers in the air. Vanessa shivers in the claustrophobic arms that trap her, a small sigh of anxiety leaps out of her mouth. For the first time, Vanessa felt claustrophobic within William's embrace. With each tense breath she forced herself not to hyperventilate. Some individuals truly are low on the spectrum with tactile, physical, emotional expression. With Vanessa that normally wasn't the case. 

Her chest is tight and Vanessa feels like the air is shoved from her lungs, restricting her chest. This is not just her lungs, but her heart feels like it's squished too. She felt so uncomfortable.

Despite her discomfort, Vanessa managed to fall asleep. As her consciousness ebbed, her mind went into free fall, swirling with the beautiful chaos of a new dream. Vanessa would describe falling asleep as her only sweet release from the worries of the world. In her dreams she could escape, find relief. 

Or so she thought. Due to the events from before, Vanessa wasn't calm. 

This night was different. A nightmare was upon her. The nightmare is more of a night terror, because it feels as if she might die from the pain in her brain, she's desperately trying to wake up, screaming for help, yet nobody comes. 

The subjects of nightmares vary from person to person. The mind’s reel of midnight movies never ceases to amaze, and many of these dreams can be off-putting if not downright disturbing. From feeling all too real to playing on our deepest fears. Her nightmares are vividly realistic, disturbing dreams that rattle her awake from a deep sleep. 

A nightmare is a disturbing dream associated with negative feelings, such as anxiety or fear that awakens you. 

Vanessa awakes without warning, her brain feeling shot through and coughing from the tail end of a cold. It was the most intense nightmare and she was never more glad to see the light of day. 

William let out an exasperated sigh, shedding himself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, his eyes were still shut as he soaked in the warmth of his covers accompanied by Vanessa's heat before letting his grey eyes see the sun's rays.

William woke up due to Vanessa's frantic moving, and to be fair, it bothered Vanessa to know only now the man woke up. When she was in the clutch of an agonizing nightmare, William was still soundlessly asleep. Vanessa fixed her lover in a stare that could have frozen the Pacific. She snarled more than spoke. "William, let me go." Fires of fury and hatred were smoldering in the small narrowed eyes as she weighed the pros and cons of the various and creative means available to her for escaping William's body.

"Hm? What's wrong?" He sounded oddly innocent for the type of person he truly was. "It's still early in the morning.. go back to sleep. Come on." His voice was still heavy and hoarse with the remainder of sleep. He eagerly wraps his arms around her waist, "isn't this better?" His chests rising and falling against her back, their breaths in unison. 

This seemed to only fuel her anger. She knew she should reign it in, apologize before she made it worse, but she just didn't have it in her to stop. 

Rage builds like deep water currents. She did everything right - everything -and still Vanessa experienced such a wretched guilt. That's when her anger comes, unleashed without thought of consequence. Even William that currently didn't earn this wrath today, earned it at some point. "Don't fucking touch me! It's not.. anywhere near better." Vanessa reduces him to human rubble with her words. "I don't give a shit about the time! HOW ARE YOU NOT AFFECTED BY ANY OF THIS?!" It's time to get out of here before she does something she'll regret. She needed a punching bag, which ended up to be William. Vanessa was intoxicated with emotion she had no intention of ever feeling, the acidity of it was residing in her stomach waiting to be spat out of her mouth in foul and vulgar words. "HOW CAN YOU SLEEP WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF HAVING ENDED SOMEONE'S LIFE?! Why.. Why can't I?!" 

It took a while to see those feelings as her own problem, her envy.

Vanessa holds still, staring at William, eyes locked right on his. A huge part of the solution lies in the understanding of the way she feels, what triggers negative thoughts and how she avoids acting on them. 

"Vanessa, you are human and a rational thinker. It's not a bad thing to experience such loss. I want to make something clear.. I do not murder for a satisfaction or a thrill. It's the scientific process. I am not interested in death. I'm not bothered by any of this, simply because I'm able to detach myself from it. That does not mean it will be the right way for you to cope with your feelings." It is the pain that is too much to cope with, too hard to deal with and never understood. It is something that you can’t escape, no matter how hard you try it ALWAYS swallows you again. 

"I can help you, if you let me. There is no need to hide anything from me, my dear." His voice tumbled out softly. His lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he is enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. He wanted to help her. He wanted to guide her. 

A good deal of our anger is motivated by a desire not to experience guilt—and beyond this, the distressing emotions of hurt and fear. It’s by now generally agreed upon that anger is almost never a primary emotion. In fact, those of us who routinely use anger as a “cover-up” to keep our more vulnerable feelings at bay, generally become so adept at doing so that we have little to no awareness of the dynamic driving our behavior. Anger is the emotion of invulnerability. 

Sharing your hurt feelings, and risk making yourself more vulnerable to them, you may react instead by finding something to attack them for. 

In such instances, what you’re basically doing is endeavoring to make them feel demeaned, to hurt their feelings—hurt them back. It’s an undeclared, largely unrecognized, game of tit for tat. And while you’re engaged in such retaliatory pursuits, guess what? Presto! You’re no longer feeling demeaned—at least not at the moment. Which, sadly, reinforces this essentially childish behavior.

William and Vanessa often shift blame, refusing to deal with their own emotions in a adult manner. 

In conversations William sets out for victory, switching topics, portraying himself as the victim, showing no empathy. Vanessa gave William her whole heart, her life, her love, everything she could give, and only wished she could do more. However her heart was fragile. Vanessa projected her own anger, envy and guilt onto him. William wasn't at fault here. The man truly tried to change his ways for Vanessa. Good mental health is about being able to switch gears appropriately rather than squashing or eradicating natural traits.

Vanessa couldn't accept her weak mentality.

"You talk too sweetly, stop that! It's not the time for that! It's not helping me.." Vanessa was shouting now, raising her voice above his. She's got her emotional hurricane in full force today. Vanessa sees William's body relax and his voice flow out calmly, then instead of being pulled in, Vanessa has a dilemma. She can either calm down or seek another person to pull into her hurricane. "I need a breather..." Vanessa could be broken and expect his love and patience, William could show his scars and she would always help. 

Instead of accepting her lover's help, Vanessa retrieved both her jacket and shoes.

"You are so insensitive! I can't fucking handle you!" Vanessa's last shout ran through William's ears as she left him behind. 

Vanessa has underestimated the cold tonight, not like her at all, Her hands begin to shake in a way she can't control, all Vanessa can do is loop her thumbs into her jean shorts pocket and hope to look casual. 

All colour had faded leaving only a matt black canvas with no stars to be looked upon. Other than the darkness and herself all that seemed to exist was the chilly wind that’s harsh bite could be felt through her coat. She could feel the hairs on her arm raised and the bite of the wind had left its mark in the form of small bumps that were tingling on her arms, but its bite was more than flesh deep. Her blood ran cold through her veins and her bones were chilled. 

She welcomed the silence, the sudden peace at one with herself. The more absolute it is the stronger its medicinal effect. When her anxieties had finally leached into the void. It lingered in the air, thick and heavy, like a blanket. Wherever she moved, that silence followed, always watching never fading. Her own, personal shadow.

Cold licked at her face and crept under her clothes, spreading across her skin like the lacy tide on a frigid winter beach. With purple lips tinged with blue and gently chattering teeth she wrapped her thin coat around her tighter.

To her, it was worth it. 

Was it really, though? 

He wasn't at fault here. She was envious of his ability to remain calm under the stress of any situation. Now Vanessa left only to greet this menacing cold. William, on the other hand, is still in her warm apartment. It was unfair. She's shaking in this devilish cold, while he's tucked away in warmth. William is alone in her apartment, while she felt the urge to run away from him. They were an hour away from each other. 

An.. hour away from each other.. 

William Afton.. was alone. 

The silence was eerily unnatural, like a dawn devoid of birdsong. Silence clung to her like a poisonous cloud that at any moment could choke the life from her. Silence seeped into her every pore, like a poison slowly paralyzing her from either speech or movement.

Vanessa wasn't at his side.. 

The problem only now crept up on her. 

William Afton's trust issues. How could she have left him alone?! There was no trap, no fencing, no lure. He was defenseless right now. Regardless, they swore an oath of sorts, to be there for one another as long as they'd live. The river flows, the seasons move on and time is promised to no-one. The oath was simple and told more in emotion than speech. William couldn't be left by himself. They came across this point so often, how could she forget? The aching, hurt, and humiliation of the past have become so familiar – the feelings, although heavy and burdensome, are hard to let go because Vanessa is not sure she knows how to feel anything else. Just cold and numb. 

He could've panicked, being all by himself. What if he ran after her? He could be lost in this bad weather. His body is physically stronger than hers, being inhuman and all. But at the same time William was so vulnerable and fragile. He wasn't in complete control of his vessel. 

Something could've happened to him. Especially after their crime. What if Luis' body had been found? 

It slowly seeped in how much of a fool she had been.

Vanessa bolted down the path from which she came from like an Olympic champion at the start gun, she could feel her heart throbbing inside her chest. Tears blind her and she turns, running as quickly as her long legs can carry her. She wheezes as her burning lungs gasp for air. Her legs feel numb and unsteady, painfully sore. Her throat feels dry, so uncomfortably dry. Vanessa was vaguely aware of a stinging in her leg.

The fear thoughts looped around in her mind until there was no room for anything else. The horrible image created by her mind to expect police cars surrounding her house, her neighbourhood watching from afar while a bunch of cops close in on her front door. To her surprise, it was quiet. It was too quiet. What if she arrived too late? Her limbs felt like her muscles had been taken out and replaced with over-stretched elastic bands.

As the door stood towering above her, Vanessa let out a shaky breath. The dread and anxiety deadened her mind and body. In her frozen state Vanessa let out a shaky breath, closing her weary eyes. She grasped the doorknob, the cold metal sending a shiver up her already quivering arm. Deep breaths. Her heart ricocheted off her rib cage and she slowly turned the handle till there was a crack in the door. 

Almost mindlessly Vanessa swung open the door to the fate that awaited. Inside everything seemed to go in slow motion.

Vanessa stops and just gazes, soaking in the warmth of his eyes. "Oh, you're back?" William sat before her on the couch. His weight seemed to comfortably dent the couch, as he sat with a cup of tea in his hand splendidly solitary. The odor of the tea caught her nose. A complex aroma, lively and mouth-drying on the tongue. Not bitter, but a clean and refreshing quality. Impeccably british. "Are you.. feeling any better, bunny?" 

Vanessa never gave him an answer. She ran towards him, full speed. Vanessa buries her face into the crook of William's neck. William reached out and hugged her tightly, his arms as shields of love. There was something so warm, something that felt right, smelt right. She let her body sag, her muscles become loose. He gave her the respect of an equal but cradled her like a cherished child. In that embrace she felt her worries lose their keen sting and her optimism raised its head from the dirt. Perhaps the hope had been there all along, but without some love it was trapped, like crystals in a stone. She felt him brush her hair back, his chin resting on top of her head. His arms clenched her tighter. William doesn't have to be perfect and neither does she, they learn together, catch each other, hold more ideals than they can live up to - yet keep walking even though all say the dream is only a dream. Dreams can come true, just dream the right one in the language of Love and know what it means - strong hearts, brave souls, complete and healed minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wondered if you guys had any feedback? I'd love to hear some things you enjoy or think I can improve.


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